Letters to Josh
Steph-Letter 2
Dear Josh,
Well baby you did it! You're off following your dreams! I'm proud of you for going...But I just can't believe you're really gone. Well, for 364 days anyway. What will I do with out you? Who will I talk to until I fall asleep? Who will I look forwarding to seeing when I go to church? Who will hold me the way you do? I don't know the answers Josh...I guess I'll have to wait until you return. But I know that I can do it. This is what I'm going to think about every time I miss you so much that it hurts:
Us, alone in the parking lot behind the church on a Monday evening. Doing our favorite thing together, having a catch. I think back to when it was cold and we were a few years younger, we bonded in this same parking lot, doing this same thing. From across the parking lot you come running at me and scoop me up in your arms. Embracing me in a big hug you spin me around, as I cling to your neck. Placing my feet gently back down on the ground you kiss my lips, soft and gently. I look up at you and wonder How is it possible that I love him so much? Then I am reminded as you go run away from me, looking back at me over your shoulder with your goofy grin. I love you because you are simply you, funny, sensitive, goofy. You're handsome and look older then you are, yet at heart you're a playful child. I finally catch you in a hilly patch of grass and jump up onto your back. You spin me around some more as I screech for you to put me down. Obeying my request you but me back on my feet and I grab your shirt, trying to make the world stop spinning, although looking I think I liked it better then. As i lean on you for strength you wrap your arms around me and hold me tight. The world stops spinning and time seems to stop as I am safely wrapped in your arms. The peace is broken by you tickling me until I fall to the ground doubled over in laughter, which quite honestly did not take long at all. After I could breath again I lay my head on your chest. We lay there, in a comforting silence and watch the colors of the sunset dance across the sky. Then slowly we watch the day slip away. These are the words that I will always remember. As the first star came into view you broke the silence with your deep, familiar voice saying "Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish for more moments like this, with the love of my life." I was glad that the darkness hid the tears welling up in my eyes, and as one tear escaped you leaned down and kissed me. Not soft and gentle like before, but long and passionate, as you held yourself up, your body hovering above mine, your arms pulling me up closer to you. "I love you" You softly whisper in my ear, then kissed me one last time and lay back on the grass. I roll over and rest my head on your chest. There we lay for hours more talking about our day, our lives and our future.
That was the day we met with your recruiter. The day i felt my life slipping away with no way of grabbing it back. It was terrifying! But it was also the day you showed me how much I truly love you, the day you eased my pain with your arms. Took my fears with your kisses. And showed me you loved me with your words. The day I knew that you would be leaving, and the day I knew we would be OK when you get back. Because that day I realized just how much I need you, want you. Josh when God made you he must've been thinking about me. Because you are everything I need. Not many people can find love like this, so i think we better cling to it. There are so many moments that we've shared Josh, but this one was my favorite. I know your wish will come true, because when you come back I will be waiting with my mit, a ball, and for you.
Love,
Stephanie
P.S. I love you most!
Well baby you did it! You're off following your dreams! I'm proud of you for going...But I just can't believe you're really gone. Well, for 364 days anyway. What will I do with out you? Who will I talk to until I fall asleep? Who will I look forwarding to seeing when I go to church? Who will hold me the way you do? I don't know the answers Josh...I guess I'll have to wait until you return. But I know that I can do it. This is what I'm going to think about every time I miss you so much that it hurts:
Us, alone in the parking lot behind the church on a Monday evening. Doing our favorite thing together, having a catch. I think back to when it was cold and we were a few years younger, we bonded in this same parking lot, doing this same thing. From across the parking lot you come running at me and scoop me up in your arms. Embracing me in a big hug you spin me around, as I cling to your neck. Placing my feet gently back down on the ground you kiss my lips, soft and gently. I look up at you and wonder How is it possible that I love him so much? Then I am reminded as you go run away from me, looking back at me over your shoulder with your goofy grin. I love you because you are simply you, funny, sensitive, goofy. You're handsome and look older then you are, yet at heart you're a playful child. I finally catch you in a hilly patch of grass and jump up onto your back. You spin me around some more as I screech for you to put me down. Obeying my request you but me back on my feet and I grab your shirt, trying to make the world stop spinning, although looking I think I liked it better then. As i lean on you for strength you wrap your arms around me and hold me tight. The world stops spinning and time seems to stop as I am safely wrapped in your arms. The peace is broken by you tickling me until I fall to the ground doubled over in laughter, which quite honestly did not take long at all. After I could breath again I lay my head on your chest. We lay there, in a comforting silence and watch the colors of the sunset dance across the sky. Then slowly we watch the day slip away. These are the words that I will always remember. As the first star came into view you broke the silence with your deep, familiar voice saying "Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish for more moments like this, with the love of my life." I was glad that the darkness hid the tears welling up in my eyes, and as one tear escaped you leaned down and kissed me. Not soft and gentle like before, but long and passionate, as you held yourself up, your body hovering above mine, your arms pulling me up closer to you. "I love you" You softly whisper in my ear, then kissed me one last time and lay back on the grass. I roll over and rest my head on your chest. There we lay for hours more talking about our day, our lives and our future.
That was the day we met with your recruiter. The day i felt my life slipping away with no way of grabbing it back. It was terrifying! But it was also the day you showed me how much I truly love you, the day you eased my pain with your arms. Took my fears with your kisses. And showed me you loved me with your words. The day I knew that you would be leaving, and the day I knew we would be OK when you get back. Because that day I realized just how much I need you, want you. Josh when God made you he must've been thinking about me. Because you are everything I need. Not many people can find love like this, so i think we better cling to it. There are so many moments that we've shared Josh, but this one was my favorite. I know your wish will come true, because when you come back I will be waiting with my mit, a ball, and for you.
Love,
Stephanie
P.S. I love you most!
♠ ♠ ♠
thoughts?