To the Stage

Ben didn’t come back until late last night. She was aware of that as she stayed up late waiting for him to come back. And when he did, he reeked of alcohol and cigarettes. He didn’t even look at her as he walked past her towards the little bathroom cubicle. She sighed softly as the bathroom door slammed close. Her thoughts went back to what he said to her last night, before he went off into the night leaving her in tears. Everything’s fucking ruined, he said. Nichole was starting to believe that.

It was about 3.30pm and the bus was moving. They were supposed to have a show tonight but due to… recent events, it was cancelled. The rest of the tour was cancelled. The band and its management thought the fans deserved more than a crappy performance led by an unstable vocalist so the management unanimously decided to cancel the rest of the tour until the band can figure things out. It was like a déjà vu hitting the band, considering Danny’s history with substance abuse.

And this time, it definitely hit the band hard.

Nichole climbed off her bunk as she needed to have caffeine flowing in her veins. A cigarette or two would be good for her as well. She yawned and wiped the sleep off her eyes as she walked towards the small kitchen they have in the bus. She stopped short when she saw Ben sprawled across the couch. Her eyes travelled up to his face and she could see the dark patches under his eyes. Even in his sleep he looked exhausted.

She went straight to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup. She walked back to Ben’s bunk and dug around his bag until she found what she was looking for: his cigarette box. Grabbing it, she went back to the lounge, sitting at the row of couches opposite Ben and lighted a cigarette. She inhaled it deeply and slowly she could feel her sorrows dissipate.

Even if everything seemed to be going downhill from here on out, the least she could do is to have a moment of peace without having to think about the things that are negatively affecting the people that she loves. She took another puff from the cigarette.

She heard Ben mumbling in his sleep before turning onto his side. Then he slowly opened his eyes and her eyes met his bloodshot, tired ones. She smiled weakly, but the smile never really reached her eyes. “Hey,” she said softly.

He peeled his eyes from her face and sat up. Then his face contorted in pain and he cursed. “Motherfucker,” he said referring to his hangover. Nichole was already expecting this so she quickly handed him a few painkillers and a glass of water. He downed them quickly and then leaned back against the couch. As silence fell, Nichole lighted another cigarette when she was done with her previous one. She was never a chain smoker before but the situation she was in seemed to be a good enough reason for her to do so now.
Ben came over and sat next to her, his hand brushing her back softly before reaching for a cigarette for himself. After a puff, he took a sip from Nichole’s cup of coffee and leaned back. She looked at him, waiting for him to say something… anything, really. She was scared that he would get upset if she mentioned anything about what had happened.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you last night,” she heard him say. His eyes were fixed on the light fixture on the ceiling. “I’m sorry for walking off. I—I needed a breather, I needed to be alone.”

Nichole nodded “It’s okay,” she said as she took another puff of her cigarette. Her elbows rested on the table in front of her. She looked out the window as the bus trembled slightly. It drove past towns and cities towards home.

Ben’s hand snaked around her waist and he scooted nearer. He placed a light kiss on the side of her head. She could feel his heartbeat as his chest pressed against her back. “I freaked out. To see my best friend about to hit you…” Nichole thought she heard his voice cracked when he paused. “I could kill him, you know? If he ever land his hand on you. Especially after what you went through… Fuck,” he cursed and his grip around her waist tightened slightly.

An ache burned through Nichole’s heart. Another puff from her cigarette dulled it slightly as she tapped the cigarette on the ashtray in front of her to burn it out. She was beginning to think if she needed another. “Let’s not talk about that,” she told him softly and he nodded in agreement.

Time seemed to move slowly as they sat in each other’s embrace. Nichole thought back to the good times she had with Danny and how it slowly spiraled downward the minute he met Dawn. She couldn’t help but to chuckle. “What?” Ben asked.

“At least I could say that my birthday this year was pretty fucking eventful.”

* * *

A few hours later the bus rolled to a stop just 3 hours away from home. They needed to get some food before continuing the journey. The atmosphere in the bus hadn’t change and it was pretty awkward to stay in the lounge without talking to the other guys. She could see Cameron, Sam and James looked down about the things that had happened with Danny. They walked in and out of the lounge for a smoke and a beer before disappearing to their own bunks.

Since her talk with Ben, she had been holed up in her own bunk watching random movies on the iPad Ben had bought for her several months ago. She was in the middle of watching Pacific Rim when Ben suddenly came over and shook her body. “The fuck do you want?” she asked only slightly annoyed.

“Get dressed, we’re going to dinner.”

Nichole was so engrossed in the movie that she didn’t even realize the bus had stopped. She paused the movie and with a sigh she climbed off her bunk and found a pair of black skinnies. She quickly changed her shorts into the skinny jeans and went to the bathroom to make sure she looked decent enough. She decided she wanted to wear some make up to put some colour back into her features.

Her hair was slightly greasy due to not showering the whole day that day. She snorted slightly in amusement. I’m turning into them, she thought. The band’s habit of not showering every day is rubbing on her. Life on tour is wonderful.

When she stepped out of the bathroom, Ben was waiting for her and he took her hand. He was wearing a black sweater and a pair of jeans and his hair was disheveled as usual. He looked better now compared to a few hours ago and his eyes twinkled in excitement. He pulled out a black bandanna from the back of his pocket and dangled it in front of her. “I need to close your eyes.”

She laughed. “What the hell are you up to, Bruce?”

He grinned. “Oh just shut it, woman, and turn around.” She did and he tied the bandanna around her eyes and made sure she couldn’t see a thing. “What am I holding in front of you?” he asked as he held nothing in front of her.

“Stop asking me stupid questions and tell me what the hell is up.”

She heard him laugh and then she felt Ben’s hands on her hips guiding her forward. Not being able to see anything sucked. Every step she took, she was scared that she might trip over something and break her neck. Not that that isn’t possible considering how messy the tour bus is. She successfully stepped of the bus with Ben’s guidance and he quickly pulled her hand and led her… somewhere.

She could hear him opening a set of doors and in an instant, the smell hit her. “Ben, where am I?” she asked before Ben shushed her. He quietly led her on and then asked her to sit down. “What’s going on?” she pressed.

“Okay you can remove the blindfold now.”

She slowly untied the bandana and then slowly opened her eyes.

“SURPRISE!”

She looked around, and there she was sitting in the center of an IHOP, surrounded by balloons and confetti and an array of food on the table. Her heart swelled with happiness as he looked at Ben who was sitting in front of her with an expectant smile on his face. Her hand went to her mouth as she saw the rest of the Asking Alexandria crew with small little birthday hats, smiling and clapping.