Stuck in the Middle

When I died I thought I'd be able to move on into the light but something was holding me back. I talked to a few others like me. They said it was because I was in love when I died therefore until Jeremy moves on and learns to love someone else I'm stuck here on Earth. 

The loneliness I was getting used to. It was really hard to transition like this. I always have to refrain myself from going up to them and forcing things to happen... not that I would force anything. I know deep down that a part of Jeremy loves Elaine more than he lets himself believe. And that doesn't bother me at all. Elaine was one of my best friends and I know that her bond with Jeremy will always be stronger than the one I had with him. I consider myself lucky to have known both of them. 

Elaine was always with Jeremy, no matter where they were. I remember when Jeremy and I first hung out. I talked more to Lainey than I did to Jere. And we clicked right away. I knew right away that she cared more about Jeremy than anything else. He was her rock and she was his. And you'd think now that I'm gone something would happen between the two of them but still nothing. 

I've been observing them ever since Elaine arrived. I wish I could just hug her and tell her everything is going to work out but I can't for obvious reasons. And as for Jeremy, I just want him to know that I will always love him but it's okay to move on. Nothing was going as I had hoped but I guess things will take care of themselves with time and patience which apparently I have a sufficient supply of now.



Jeremy sat alone on a rock away from the people on the beach. He needed the time and the fresh air to think. After staring out at the water for a while his eyes moved to the person he came here with. 

He watched as Elaine sat with her book open in her lap and her ear buds in. He knew what she was doing. She was trying to block out reality. He envied her in a way because she was capable of doing that where he couldn't handle it. 

He looked on as Elaine fidgeted in her spot, how she kept playing with her hair and biting her lip. Avery did that when she was nervous or anxious about something. He snapped out of it just in time to see what the cause of Elaine's actions were. A boy who was surfing earlier was making his way over to her.  

Jeremy watched as the pair exchanged a few words and then his eyes were met with two wide eyes. Lainey was staring right at him. The look on her face he couldn't quite figure out. Elaine shook her head, gathered her things and walked away from the boy. The boy turned around and glared at Jeremy then made his way over to his board. 

When Jeremy got home that day, Elaine was locked in her room with quiet music playing. He was about to knock on the door when he heard a quiet sob. With that, he didn't want to disturb her. He decided he'd wait. He sat against the wall thinking about Elaine and what could possibly be wrong. Why did she freak out when he had said she was beautiful? He believed she truly was. He wanted to know what she meant when she said "And that's all I'll ever be." What was that supposed to mean? She could have any guy she wants but she doesn't see it that way. 

"Hey little bro. What are you thinking about?" Logan said sitting  down next to Jeremy. He didn't want to talk about it right now but he didn't want to shut his brother out anymore. 

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Just Elaine. I think we can help each other cope with this whole thing, you know?" Logan shook his head but kept quiet. "I think something is wrong though. She seems upset about something... something other than the obvious. I just can't get her to open up to me like she used to." 

Logan stood up and shrugged. "Well, probably not now but I'm sure she'll open up to you soon enough. Just give her time." Logan patted my shoulder and then went downstairs. Jeremy was left sitting outside of her room pondering over so many things. Her words were stuck in his head, haunting him.