Turtle

I could beat him up if I really wanted to, but I couldn't. I couldn't’t beat anybody up really. I was a pacifist more than anything else. I waited for my mom to unlock the front door, it was an old house, she had to jiggle the key for a while. We lived on a private drive deep in the country. It was a quiet little place where we lived. I had three neighbors, I didn't know most of their names. They didn't come out much, they were all old. They went to work, they came back home. Not a whole lot of interaction between any of us. I loved where I lived, but there were times when I wished I lived around people my age, that way I could have a few more friends and practice not being a turtle.

I walked into the living room and dropped my jean purse on the floor. I loved that bag, I used it everywhere I went, it was getting old though, and I’d have to replace it soon. I began thinking about being bigger than Trevor again. It wasn't often that I could say I was bigger than a person. I was one of the shortest girls in my grade and in the grade below me (9th) I was 5’4 and a half, skinny, and shy. I’d never been picked on very much. I’d been called ugly before, I’d been told that my hair was nappy, and that my art was even uglier than I am, and once someone told me I had a mustache, but that was okay. That was middle school stuff, I was a sophomore now. I was practically a different person, I didn't understand why Trevor was so mean to me. I tried to be his friend, I thought we were friends. Apparently I was wrong.
“Hey Eve, Mom, Stacy.”

My little sister, May, said coming out of the family room. May was smaller than me, but she was much braver. She talked to boys, she had a lot of friends and she was smart. She hugged my mom and plopped down onto the living room couch. Stacy sat down next to her. They were both so pretty. Everyone said it all the time.
“Stacy has such a beautiful smile!”

“May is so cute!”

“Look how gorgeous Stacy’s hair is!”

“Wow! May’s eyes are so breathe taking!”

People always said that about them, random people, family, friends, everyone. I never really heard anyone say much about my looks, so I liked to assume that I simply wasn't’t around when they said it. Lately though, I’d been feeling like maybe no one ever said anything at all.
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I took a deep breathe before walking into the band room. I walked to my cubby and dragged my trombone out. People liked to tell me that it was bigger than me; I liked to believe those people were liars. I swung the strap over my shoulder and carried it back to my seat, staring down at my feet as I walked. I’d borrowed May’s ballet flats today, they weren't as old as mine so they looked a little better with my skinny jeans and Grey crew neck t-shirt.

“Hey turtle!” Trevor called out to me. I didn't say anything, I just looked at him. He waved and I looked back down at my feet.

“What’d he call you turtle for?” Allen asked me as I passed the tuba section. Stacy looked at me curiously. Allen was a senior; I’d met him at marching band camp too. He was nice, kind of. Different was probably the best word to describe him. Or maybe strange.

“I don’t know.” I lied and quickly shuffled to my seat. I was first chair trombone. I got insulted a lot because of it, mostly because I was a girl and I was the youngest. I was always the youngest in my class, because of my birthday.

“Turtle, why are you ignoring me?” Trevor poked me.

“Because my name isn't turtle, and you know that” I whispered, pushing his hand away.

“I think it’s a cute nick-name.Turtle.” Trevor laughed. I opened my trombone case and began to put it together.

“You call girl turtle again?” I heard Wut ask Trevor. Wut was cute, I’d had a thing for Asians since my best friend in second grade moved away, he was from Korea too.

“Yeah I called her a turtle, she is a turtle. You know that a turtle is the best way to describe her.”

“Well, she a good turtle. She first chair.” Wut laughed. “Eve.” He called me.

“Yeah?” I asked, sitting up.

“You smart turtle.”