Waking up in Vegas

“Be quiet! They’re sleeping!” I woke up when Daddy tried to whisper. It really didn’t do any good warning everyone else to be quiet when he wasn’t being quiet himself.

“Who’s that?” I heard Aunt Jane ask and I remembered that John had been there when we fell asleep. That definitely wasn’t the plan.

“Oh that’s Kendall’s husband,” Dad said nonchalantly and I could tell that they had been drinking. The first indication was Daddy’s “whispering” and now Dad telling people that I had a husband like it wasn’t a big deal at all.

“What!?” Uncle Ed exclaimed.

“Oh yeah, we’re not supposed to tell people that. They’re just ‘dating’ now even though they got married in Las Vegas,” Daddy explained, trying to help but definitely making matters worse.

“And you’re ok with that?” Aunt Jane asked with clear distaste in her voice.

“Well, it’s definitely not the proudest moment of our lives becoming fathers-in-law for a stranger but we trust Kendall. If she wants to stay married to him there has to be something good about him. There has to be a good reason or there’s no way she would be with him.”

I smiled a little and was glad that Dad was defending me. I should pretend to be asleep more often to see what kinds of things they say about me.

“I’m glad we have a son and not a daughter. There’s no way I could deal with something like this,” Uncle Ed said.

“Um hello? He was just as much a part of it as she was. It could still happen with dear little Charlie,” Daddy chimed in. I almost started laughing but I was still trying to be quiet.

“Charlie would never do something like that,” Aunt Jane seemed so sure of herself.

“Look, dinner was fun and it was good seeing you both but if you want to say negative things about our daughter you can just leave,” Dad told her plain and simple.

“We’re sorry Dan, but it’s just not something we can condone. Marriage is sacred and it shouldn’t be treated as a joke. I guess we’ll see you later,” Aunt Jane made her decision. “Ed, get Charlie so we can go.”

I felt Charlie being moved from the spot on the floor next to me. He apparently woke up because I heard him calling my name.

“I want Kendall!” he shouted and I finally opened my eyes. He was kicking and screaming in his father’s arms, reaching out for me. He finally broke free from Uncle Ed’s grasp and ran back over to me, throwing his arms around me in a hug.

“What’s up Charlie? It’s time to go home bud.”

“But I wanna stay in the fort with you and John,” he protested.

“You don’t even know John!” Aunt Jane disputed.

“Yes I do, he’s my best buddy!” Charlie shouted at his mother and John finally woke up. He rolled over and shot me a questioning look but I just shrugged. Charlie unwrapped his arms from around me and threw himself at John.

“Hey best buddy, I think it’s time for you to go home. It’s late and we’re all tired. Maybe we can hang out later and build an even bigger fort,” John said with a smile on his face and a childish light in his eyes and I could tell that he was actually excited about it too, even if it might not ever happen. “I’m sure Kendall will babysit you again and Kendall’s my very best friend so I’ll be around too.”

“Do you promise?” Charlie asked, close to tears.

“Of course. Pinky swear.” He held out his pinky and Charlie finally grinned and completed the ritual by linking pinkies with John.

“Wow, I can see why you’re so concerned with Kendall being with him,” Daddy said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Aunt Jane just rolled her eyes and stormed out the door. Uncle Ed followed her soon with Charlie in his arms. The whole way out Charlie was waving to John and I, and I felt bad seeing him leave.

When they had finally left and we heard the car pulling out of the driveway, I looked at my fathers.

“Hey Dad, hey Daddy,” I said with a sheepish grin on my face. “Meet John?”

“So you’re the one who got our little girl drunk and married her in Vegas?” Dad said and I was absolutely mortified. I couldn’t believe that after all that, now he was acting like this towards John.

I looked over to John and saw that he was kind of freaking out. He looked kind of scared and definitely panicked. I squeezed his hand for reassurance and he started trying to say something. But nothing really came out. There were sounds, sure, but not actual coherent words.

“Didn’t your parents teach you not to take advantage of women?” Daddy added and I seriously wanted to die.

“I—it—we—” John stuttered, blinking furiously, looking between me and my fathers and I felt so bad for him.

“Words son, use them.”

“Oh my god, can you not?” I said before they could say anything else.

“We heard you talk to Charlie? Are you scared to speak to people over the age of five?”

“Are you serious right now?” I was beyond mortified. Now John would be the one bugging me about the annulment for sure.

“Calm down Kendall. We’re just joking. But it’s funny! Look at him Dan!” Daddy laughed and Dad slung his arm around his shoulder and joined in.

“You guys are so mean! Come on John, let’s go.” I started to stand up from our spot on the floor in the fort but Dad held his hands up for us to wait.

“No! Come on! Please stay! We really do want to meet him. We’ll be nice we promise!” Dad mock pleaded.

“I hate you guys.”

“But we love youuu! As much as you love Johnny-Poo here.” They were definitely drunk. And they had no idea what they were talking about.

“You are so embarrassing.”

“What are your intentions with our daughter?” Daddy asked, turning to John, suddenly super serious.

“You don’t have to answer that John,” I said to him with another squeeze to his hand.

“No it’s ok.” It seemed like he was finally calming down now that he could tell that my dads were intoxicated and joking around. “I really like Kendall.” Now it was time for him to give my hand a squeeze and I turned to smile at him. “I know what we did was way backwards and I wish that I had had a chance to get to know her before we got married. But I’m glad that we did. We’re having fun together and I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m excited to find out.” He smiled at me and then turned to face my parents.

Suddenly they were speechless. They didn’t have anything else to joke about. I was absolutely stunned. Hearing him say those things about me made me feel something I hadn’t felt in a really long time and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you John.” Dad stuck his hand out and John reached forward to shake it, then towards Daddy’s outstretched hand to shake that as well. “We’re glad that you’re making our Kendall here so happy. And you seem like a nice young man.”

We stuck around for a bit longer and talked to my parents. They were really funny when they weren’t being asses and picking on John. But it was late and we were all tired, so eventually it was time for John to go home and for everyone to go to bed. John and I stood up and I walked him out to the car.

“He’s cute. I want one,” I heard Dad say to Daddy when we were walking out the door and I turned around and glared at them. They just winked and smiled and I couldn’t keep a matching smile of my own off my face no matter how hard I tried.