Heart Beats

*5 years ago*

I sat looking at myself in the mirror, i was so shocked...absolutely stunned.
"why would you just pick up and leave like this?" i asked dumbfounded, "i don't know Matty, i just i need to get out of this same routine...i need time to myself i need to think yeah know. I don't want to just get up and go but i really need to...and i think my throat is really starting to hurt worse." he said looking down at his shoes
"Sonny please you can't go, we...what are we supposed to do without you? your our lead singer...were in the middle of recording!" i grew frustrated and i knew he felt it.
"Matt I'm sorry, I'm seriously not trying to hurt you i just...i got to go! god damn why cant you understand that!" i sighed and sat down on my bed, "Fine i cant make you stay, i want to but i cant...i just...i don't know you mean alot to me your my best friend and i guess ill just let you go. What do i tell the guys?" i asked him, he shrugged "why not the truth?" with that he kissed my forehead and walked out.

*Present Day*
I sat staring out the window, finally we got a break from touring and being on the damn road i was really getting sick of it...it just hasn't been the same. I just have this empty void in my world, i know it was 5 years ago but it really seems like just yesterday he was walking out that same door...leaving all the memories and success behind. My phone began ringing snapping my thoughts back to reality. It was Travis.

"Hello" i answered, "hey dude, hows the break doing...haven't herd from you in a month kinda thought you were dead or something." he sounded concerned, i sighed...i really am horrible, you'd think band members are super close because duh we share a band but i seriously suck at being super involved. "Uh yeah sorry I've just been so busy with catching up with family and trying to keep myself busy and not being a couch potato i just forget to call and check in...seriously dude in sorry." i half meant it, Through everything Travis has really been a good rock that's kept my together this whole time. "No man i understand, just i worry you know. So hey me and they wife were just wondering maybe you wanna go down to the beach this weekend with us? bringing Derek and Matt? you down?" i could hear the pleading in his voice, i sighed i seriously didn't want to go but i couldn't think of a legitimate excuse so i dropped my balls. " yeah sure! i would love to come, time?" i faked, i could hear the excitement in his voice. "uh probably around noon ill give you a text to let you know for sure, ill hit you up later okay dude." he was smiling i could tell "okay dude thanks" and i hung up

I was really dreading hanging out with everyone, especially Matt. Now don't get me wrong yes i was one of the people who decided to let him in the bad because i saw great potential but he feels like a blank presence, when i look at him i know he isn't supposed to be in this band...I'm pathetic i know but nobody understands.

*Saturday Afternoon*
We all piled into Travis's SUV it was just Travis, Emily, there daughter and me and of course Moose there giant Rottweiler. The drive was nice and relaxing but soon we would all be faced with spending time together and having fun and whatnot...i don't know maybe i should at least act like or actually even try to let loose and have fun today. Jesus i haven't had fun in years...i desperately need it more than anything. I sank back in my seat and closed my eyes and drifted off into a sleep.

i was walking down the semi dark hallway towards the room, my smile was big and i knew what i was about to see. As i crept into the door way i looked towards the bed and there he was...his small figure curled up against my pillow, his long crazy hair was everywhere including all over his face but my god the sun shone on his so beautifully that he looked like the most perfect angel in the world. i softly crawled into bed and scooped him into my arms and snuggled up so our noses were touching, his eyes fluttered open as his smile grew big.
"Good morning my Sonny bunny" i smiled at him, "Good morning my Matty pop" he smiled back, he kissed my softly and squinted his eyes...it was so bright in our room. " why are you so perfect Mr. Moore? i don't understand how you do it i really don't." i blushed and kissed his nose, he giggled and playfully slapped my cheek, "trust me Matty I'm far from perfect but you, now that's a whole different story." i giggled at him, his smile thinned a little, "whats wrong my sunshine?" he just looked away " i just, i had a bad dream and it felt so real...you just disappeared and i couldn't find you Matty." i could see the sadness in his eyes, i pulled him closer so his face was buried in my neck, " Sonny i swear I'm not going anywhere, your stuck." i tried making an innocent joke, he clung tighter to me "Matty i know, i just got scared cause sometimes people get over whelmed and they get scared and run away from everything and i know it happens...i just don't want it to ever happen because your my everything pop." he was so damn perfect, i lifted his face and looked him straight in the eye" Sonny James Moore i swear i will never feel like that and if i ever seem like i am talk to me, but i guarantee i wont. I love you with all my heart Bunny and I'm here to stay." and with that we kissed......

"Uncle Matty....UNCLE MATTY." my eyes popped open and i noticed Naomi was shaking me awake, "where here now, come have fun with us." and with that she ran off to the beach, moose in tow. I got out of the car and stretched...that dream...it was just so damn real. I'm glad i had it though it was something that I've always cherished. I shook the dream from my thoughts though, today was about having fun and being with my friends. i ran to the beach and started chasing Naomi and moose just trying to have a good time. let loose.

"hey Matt lets go for a walk" it had been almost two hours of just having fun so i agreed, i needed a break. We walked for maybe 5 minutes a couple miles from where we were at and Travis broke the silence. "so how have you been doing Matt?" he asked, i shrugged "I'm okay, why are you so worried?" i always knew what was coming out of this "i don't know, i always worry yeah know ever since the incident...i know your still hurt i can hear it and see it everyday." i rolled my eyes "yes i know Travis i know I'm still hurt and i think i will be for the rest of my life but that doesn't give you a reason to worry...if Emily did what son...what he did you'd feel the same." i was trying to stay calm " hey Matt I'm not trying to get you worked up or ruin your day cause i know your trying super had to just let go and have fun i just wanted to check up and see how things were going yeah know." he apologized, i loosed up " i know...look I'm sorry its still touchy, i am trying to have a good day and i am having fun I'm really trying Travis...i really am." i signed, he nodded and we headed back. I had a good rest of the day just hanging out and before we left we roasted marsh mellows.
On the way home it seemed like that time was shorter than the way here, they insisted that i come and stay with them but i didn't want to push it i really wanted to go home and cuddle in my own bed, finally they agreed and dropped my off at home. I thanked them and once they drove away i turned and noticed something different...somebody was either in my house or they had been there. i grabbed the pocket knife out of my pocket and quietly as i could opened my door and walked inside. Lights were on, i went through every room but the whole place was empty..nothing was taken or destroyed. I didn't want to call anyone to bother them so i locked the place up and just went into my room locking the door behind me. I stared at my bed, someone had slept there today. Something seems to familiar and weird.