Status: Active :)
10 Miles Wide
Closer to that chance of suicide.
The next morning I changed into black jeans and a black t-shirt. I walked downstairs and outside without even talking to anyone. I sent Trevor a text.
what r u up to hun?
nothing, heading to work you?
same
i love you Izzy
I froze at those words, I can't say them back to him because..well I just can't. I don't know if I really love him at all. I put my phone in my pocket and walked into Hot Topic. It was a bout an hour and a half before we opened I seen Trev and hugged him, "Hey." He smiled, "Hi Izzy. Wanna go in the back room and hang out?" I nodded and we walked back there shutting the door, there was a couch back there. I sat down and Trev sat next to me, "So, what happened last night?" I shrugged, "Roomates seen me kiss you and one of them got all pissed off and hasn't talked to me since." He nodded and hugged me and kissed me again, "Don't worry. You still have me." I smiled, "Yeah." He kept kissing me and laid me down on the couch, his hands started undoing my belt, he took my belt off and next my jeans. I froze and pushed him off me, "I'm not doing this back here." Trevor rolled his eyes, "You'll do whatever the fuck I say." He smacked me across the face and tears formed in my eyes, I pushed him off of me and pulled my jeans and put my belt on. He looked at me, "You're nothing but a worthless whore." I rolled my eyes and went to run out but he grabbed my arm, "If you leave, you're fired." I laughed harshly, tears falling from my eyes, "I don't give a fuck! You're the one trying to fuck me after only knowing me for like three days! Fuck off!" I walked out and let the tears keep falling from my eyes, I walked in the house to see that no one was home. I went in the bathroom and found one of my razors, I hit it against the sink trying to brake the blades out of it. Before I did anything I sighed and wrote a note to the guys.
I'm sorry. I doubt any of you will care but I just can't take it anymore. My life's a disaster.
Bryan, You're one of the funniest and amazing people I know. You're amazing at guitar! We've only known eachother for a few days but I feel like you're the brother I never had.
Max, You're so much fun to be around. I wish we could've gotten to know eachother better.
Robert, I love your sunglasses! The way you always wear them, you're an amazing drummer and so much fun.
Craig, Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. You were so nice to me and didn't push me to do anything. You're one of the sweetest guys I have ever met, don't ever let anyone change that. You let me move in with you, you let me do my own thing. Maybe I should've told you about my past and I wouldn't be in this situation.I always knew I was getting closer to my chance at this. Anyway, I'm sorry for everything I put you guys through. Hopefully I won't hurt you ever again.
~Izzy
I held the blade to my wrist and slid it across, so many times on each wrist I lost count of how many times. I felt my eyes close and I fell to the floor...
what r u up to hun?
nothing, heading to work you?
same
i love you Izzy
I froze at those words, I can't say them back to him because..well I just can't. I don't know if I really love him at all. I put my phone in my pocket and walked into Hot Topic. It was a bout an hour and a half before we opened I seen Trev and hugged him, "Hey." He smiled, "Hi Izzy. Wanna go in the back room and hang out?" I nodded and we walked back there shutting the door, there was a couch back there. I sat down and Trev sat next to me, "So, what happened last night?" I shrugged, "Roomates seen me kiss you and one of them got all pissed off and hasn't talked to me since." He nodded and hugged me and kissed me again, "Don't worry. You still have me." I smiled, "Yeah." He kept kissing me and laid me down on the couch, his hands started undoing my belt, he took my belt off and next my jeans. I froze and pushed him off me, "I'm not doing this back here." Trevor rolled his eyes, "You'll do whatever the fuck I say." He smacked me across the face and tears formed in my eyes, I pushed him off of me and pulled my jeans and put my belt on. He looked at me, "You're nothing but a worthless whore." I rolled my eyes and went to run out but he grabbed my arm, "If you leave, you're fired." I laughed harshly, tears falling from my eyes, "I don't give a fuck! You're the one trying to fuck me after only knowing me for like three days! Fuck off!" I walked out and let the tears keep falling from my eyes, I walked in the house to see that no one was home. I went in the bathroom and found one of my razors, I hit it against the sink trying to brake the blades out of it. Before I did anything I sighed and wrote a note to the guys.
I'm sorry. I doubt any of you will care but I just can't take it anymore. My life's a disaster.
Bryan, You're one of the funniest and amazing people I know. You're amazing at guitar! We've only known eachother for a few days but I feel like you're the brother I never had.
Max, You're so much fun to be around. I wish we could've gotten to know eachother better.
Robert, I love your sunglasses! The way you always wear them, you're an amazing drummer and so much fun.
Craig, Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. You were so nice to me and didn't push me to do anything. You're one of the sweetest guys I have ever met, don't ever let anyone change that. You let me move in with you, you let me do my own thing. Maybe I should've told you about my past and I wouldn't be in this situation.I always knew I was getting closer to my chance at this. Anyway, I'm sorry for everything I put you guys through. Hopefully I won't hurt you ever again.
~Izzy
I held the blade to my wrist and slid it across, so many times on each wrist I lost count of how many times. I felt my eyes close and I fell to the floor...