Baby, Maybe Someday.

Dean woke up covered in cold sweat, sitting up on Bobby’s couch and looking around frantically. When he saw the moonlight falling on the pink bassinet he’d worked for nearly an hour to get set up properly (it had amazed as well as pissed him off that he could fix any problem a car had, but a baby’s bed was a real challenge) he relaxed considerably. Then Dean located his phone, checking the time. The alarm for him to get up and feed Cassie was about to go off anyway, so Dean stood up and stretched his rigid limbs.

When he went over to her bed he found Cassie awake, staring up at nothing and kicking her legs. She did a lot of kicking, and it made Dean snort quietly at her. He reached down and grabbed her up carefully, holding her to his currently bare chest.

“Every three hours.” grumbled Dean as he took her into the kitchen. “Even I don’t have to eat every three hours.”

Dean was too distracted with preparing her another bottle to notice Cassie turn her head and root around for a nipple. He did notice when she latched onto his, apparently unable to tell that it wasn’t going to yield any milk. Dean flinched and slid his finger between himself and her lips, detaching them and moving her where she wouldn’t be able to do it again.

“No one can ever find out about that. Especially Sam.” Dean chuckled, but then grimaced. There was still the obstacle of actually telling Sam he had a niece.

As he fed his daughter on the worn out couch Dean stared out the rainy window at the darkness of the night, the heavy rain punctuated only with a hazy street lamp in the distance. How could he tell his little brother that he was now an uncle? Sam was going to pissed, especially since Dean had waited so long to say something, and also had left him without any explanation back in that crappy motel.

Dean knew why Sam was so freaked out about his disappearance, but it was still kind of annoying. Sam knew well enough that Dean could handle himself, however Dean would have been lying if he said he wouldn’t do the same thing. If Sam only had a few months to live he would be on him the same way.

He tried not to think about what would happen to Cassie when he had to go. Sam and Bobby would take care of her. That didn’t make him feel a whole lot better, since they were probably just as clueless as him. Now that he had a daughter he didn’t want to miss her childhood, or any part of her life. When she got older would she look more like Lucy or him? Would she inherit his snarky personality, or be a complete sweetheart like her? Would she be smart, beautiful, talented? Could she sing, or dance, or play instruments? Maybe she would be a teacher, or a lawyer, or a doctor. Some day far in the future she would have kids. Dean had a fleeting vision of himself as a grandpa, and had to stem his laughing so he wouldn’t disturb Cassie.

Dean felt like a total pussy thinking about all the questions he would never know the answer to and nearly tearing up again, but he was really going to hate it when his time came, more than he had before. And these were all thoughts that he would never voice, so it wasn’t like his mushiness mattered anyway.

Of course it was worth it to save Sam, but still. All Dean knew was that before he went he would make sure Cassie was going to be kept away from hunting by all means possible. She would have a normal life if Dean had anything to do with it. Probably being raised by Sam would be like having a mom anyway. A gigantic mom with no boobs and a deep voice. The thought of Sam with boobs caused Dean to snicker again.

There was a noise outside, the soft creak of a car door opening and then shutting. Dean stood up as quickly as he could without upsetting Cassie, placing her back in her bed and setting the half-finished bottle on one of the numerous stacks of dusty books. Cassie whimpered in aggravation at losing her meal, but Dean told her silently she would have to wait.

He crept to the door and listened to footsteps coming heavily up the stairs. Anyone arriving this late couldn’t be there for a social visit, and there was no time to grab any sort of weapon. Dean curled both hands into fists and waited for the knock, throwing the door open and hauling his arm back.

“Dean?!”

Sam was soaked, his shaggy hair sticking to his forehead, falling into his wide eyes. The brothers gaped at each other for a moment, then Dean stepped aside wordlessly to let Sam inside. The younger of the two did just that, shaking the water off himself before glaring at his older sibling.

“You probably don’t know how pissed off I am right now, Dean.”

Dean laughed, the sound only a little anxious because he was amused at how wet and bitchy Sam looked. “I think I might. Bobby was just as happy to see me as you are.”

“I could really kick the shit out of you right now!”

Dean flinched and held his hands up. “Shut up, Sam! You’re gonna piss her off.”

“What?” Sam hissed, narrowing his eyes. “Piss who off?”

“Just be quiet, idiot.” growled Dean. “You can yell at me in the morning, just not right now.”

Sam looked incredulous of what his brother was saying, flaring his nostrils and pointing his finger accusingly at Dean. “I think that after three days of thinking you’re dead in a ditch somewhere, I’m entitled to a little bit of anger. Where did you go, Dean? Did you go on a hunt by yourself to show that you’re still a narcissistic asshole even if you’re going to hell in a few months?!”

Before Dean could stop him Sam had started yelling, and a shriek came from the bassinet behind them. Dean glowered at Sam before turning around and storming to Cassie’s bed. “Good going, loudmouth. She was probably gonna go back to sleep.”

“Is that…is that a baby?”

“I can see that college education did you a lot of good. Yes, it’s a baby.” Dean picked up the frightened infant, patting her back in the way that had settled her down before.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows, pulling off his wet jacket and watching Dean like he was holding something combustible. “I meant why do you have a baby?”

Well, there wasn’t any getting around it now. “She’s sort of…well…mine.”

“Beg your pardon?” Sam laughed, the sound more like shock than actual entertainment at the situation.

“I left because I got a call from a hospital in Sacramento telling me to come because my kid was being born. Remember almost a year ago when I said I had to check something out by myself?”

Sam nodded mutely.

Dean grinned shamefacedly. “I was checking out Lucy Foster. She wasn’t even planning on telling me, but things changed.”

“Okay…Um, wow.” Sam was speechless, one hand on his hip and the other on top of his head. “You’re a dad. This is your child.”

“Yeah. Take some time to soak it in. Took me three days.” Dean smirked a bit, then remembered the quickly cooling bottle on the table. He sat down on the couch and resumed feeding Cassie, waiting for Sam to respond and/or move.

“You’re not screwing with me, right?”

Dean rose an eyebrow at his brother when he finally spoke. “Yep, Sam. I’m just kidding. This isn’t a real baby, it‘s a robot. And I never went to Sacramento, I was just driving around thinking of ways to mess with your head this entire time.”

“I just had to make sure.” Sam sighed. “This is pretty unbelievable. Even for you.”

“Spare me the sermon. I know I messed up.” Dean grimaced as he watched Cassie continue to drain the bottle.

“Where’s this Lucy girl?”

Dean refused to look up and see Sam’s face turn sympathetic, because he knew it would. “She‘s dead. Something got her.”

“What? I…What got her?”

“Don’t know. That’s what me and Bobby are working on, and we have a few ideas. Might be a demon.”

Sam was quiet again, then he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Dean.”

“S’okay. So, uh…her name’s Cassandra Joan Winchester. Not bad, huh?”

Sam watched his brother with the tiny baby. Dean looked proud as he fed her, maybe he didn’t know it but he did. Sam took a few steps closer to inspect his newfound niece, smiling when he saw her miniscule hands curled into fists on either side of her bottle.

“She’s pretty cute. Looks like you.”

“Except her hair.” Dean pulled off the little cap that had been covering her head, making Sam laugh.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever seen that much hair on a baby.” he reached down cautiously to rub her head, his long fingers tousling the wispy mane of dark brown.

“It’s from her mom. Lucy had the thickest hair I’ve ever seen. Real nice ass too, but I don‘t think she got that. Or I hope not.” muttered Dean, his mouth smiling but his eyes distant and sad.

Sam wanted to know more about Lucy, but he decided not to push it for the time. “I guess I’m glad you weren’t out hunting by yourself. My second guess was that you shacked up with a hooker or something.”

Dean snorted. “I would have told you if I found a hooker good enough to shack up with. I think I was too freaked out to try and explain everything at the time.”

“S’not so bad.” Sam was trying to convince himself that was true. “You’re okay, which is good. But she does present a bit of a problem…Or a huge problem. What are we going to do with her?”

Dean shrugged uneasily. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to think about it all night, but I keep running into a brick wall. Something tells me Bobby won’t keep her here while we hunt, but giving up hunting isn’t really an option either.”

“We don’t need to worry about it immediately.” said Sam quickly, even though they did. Dean was obviously stressed, and he didn’t want to test him. Worried Dean was worse than Horny Dean, but not as bad as Livid Dean. “Seems more important that we have stuff like diapers and…soap.”

“I wondered if they need special soap, too!” exclaimed Dean. “But I have most of what she needs in the car. I’ve already done two diaper changes, and they weren’t pretty.”

“Yeah, probably not.” Sam grinned. “How old is she by the way?”

“Almost four days. She’s kinda small, isn’t she?” Dean tested Cassie’s weight in his hand, and could have sworn she was only a couple pounds. But the nurse had told him she weighed eight and a half.

“Kind of. They tend to be small when they’re four days old.”

Dean rolled his eyes at Sam. “Thanks for that bit of helpful information, Sammy. Believe it or not I knew that before.”

Sam only smiled and nodded, his eyes on Cassie. She was adorable, that was certain. Sam hadn‘t seen that many infants in person, and when he had it had been mostly nerve-wracking, worrying about how small and fragile they were. This was different, the baby in Dean‘s arms was family. Man, what a screwed up situation. Sam suddenly realized how many times he’d joked around about Dean having a couple kids somewhere, making a note not to do it anymore.

When she finished her bottle Cassie made a high-pitched grunt, then cuddled into her father’s chest and yawned. Dean moved her up so her head was on his shoulder, then stood up to locate a rag to burp her on. He saw Sam standing there looking at her with such interest and got an idea, clearing his throat to get his brother’s attention.

“Hey, do you uh…want to burp her? So I can wash the bottle?”

Dean’s suggestion made Sam scratch his head. “Um, yeah I guess I could. If that’s okay.”

“Sure, it’s easy enough. I mean, I can do it.” Dean smirked. “Here.”

Sam couldn’t help the look of awe on his face when he was handed the tiny, warm package. To think his brother had created this…well, Sam didn’t want to think about the act of it, but it was still amazing. Dean left Cassie with her uncle, heading into the kitchen and rinsing out the bottle.

While he washed the bottle (and the dishes he had used earlier while he was at it, because he didn’t want to get on Bobby’s bad side) Dean couldn’t help glancing back at Sam occasionally. It was hard not to bust out laughing at the huge man holding such a small baby, especially since Sam looked so incredibly scared. Dean knew how that felt. Cassie just seemed breakable. But the way Sam was using his monster of a hand to burp her was just too funny. His palm was about the size of her back.

“She’s not poisonous.” Dean called over his shoulder.

Sam glared back at him. “Excuse me if I don’t want to crush her.”

“You won’t. As long as you don’t hold her too tight with those behemoth paws.” Dean snorted as he dried his hands on his sweat pants.

“Trust me, I’m holding no tighter than necessary.” Sam’s voice was strained and slightly panicked. Then he was silent for a moment before gasping. “Oh my God…I think she just took a crap.”

Dean couldn’t help laughing at his younger brother’s horrified expression, but he sobered up quickly when he remembered he would have to change Cassie’s dirty diaper. Maybe Sam would do it for ten bucks…