Baby, Maybe Someday.

“But…What does she do?”

“Probably not much. She’s too small to do a lot.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Then when does she start to do stuff?”

“Dunno. Maybe a month or something. I don’t think they can walk until they’re like nine months old.”

“That’s kind of stupid. How does it take nine months to learn to walk?”

Sam shrugged. “Their muscles have to develop or something.”

“Or they’re just really dumb.”

Bobby stared in amazement at Sam and Dean, holding a mug of hot coffee in his hand. “You two are world class idjits.”

Dean looked up from the huge bowl of cereal he’d been eating. “What? Why?”

“It’s a baby, not a dog. Have either of you ever seen a baby before?”

Sam frowned. “One time Jess and I babysat her roommate’s cousin. That baby was like…two months old.”

“Well, you must be an expert then.” Bobby sneered at Sam. “Thank God I called Ellen when I did.”

Dean nodded grimly. “I hate to admit it, but I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Damn right you don’t. First thing’s first: Ellen gives you a crash course in parenting. Then we’ll talk about what else we gotta do.”

Dean grunted back into his food, Sam staring at the table thoughtfully.

*

Ellen came into the house unannounced, brushing past Dean like he wasn’t there. It didn’t really bother him until she went right up to Sam and hugged him.

“Good to see you, honey.” she told him with a smile. “Where’s the baby?”

Dean rose an eyebrow and started to follow them, until he heard the sound of more boots on the porch. Jo came in then, her arms full of three large books, face disgruntled.

“Hey.” said Dean, not expecting her to come. “What are those?”

“Baby books.” Jo grunted, setting the books on an end table. “Mom somehow forgot to help me carry them.”

“Sorry. Thanks, though.” Dean laughed slightly sheepishly.

Jo pursed her lips for a moment, hands on her hips. Then she looked away and spoke. “So…Who’d you knock up?”

Dean flinched, his fingers curling into fists. “That’s not really your business.”

“Just asking.” mumbled Jo, but she knew she’d said the wrong thing. Not that she’d apologize. “Mom said it’s a girl…Hard to see you with a daughter.” she smirked.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean rubbed the back of his head, letting himself relax a little. “I hope I can train her to act like a boy.”

“What will you do if you can’t? Tie her to a chair until she likes football and beer?”

Dean snorted. “Something like that.”

“Well, come on. My mom is pissed at you, but she wants to make sure you aren’t going to kill this kid.”

Jo led the way into the kitchen, Dean right on her heels. Ellen was already holding Cassie, smiling at her and rocking her expertly. Dean shouldn’t have felt jealous, since Ellen had so many years of mothering experience under her belt, but he did. Cassie looked absolutely content in the woman’s arms, eyes nearly closed and pink little lips parted slightly.

“Of all the irresponsible things…” Ellen spoke softly in contrast with her words and the glare she’d fixed on Dean.

Dean fought to keep himself from growling. Babies sure did make everyone get quiet real quick. “I’ve heard the lecture enough, okay? I don’t think I can handle it again without exploding.”

There was a long moment where Ellen deliberated, then she softened minutely. “Alright. It looks like she’s doing okay, but I want to see if she has a diaper rash. Have you been putting diaper cream on her?”

“Diaper cream.” Dean deadpanned, embarrassed and confused by the idea.

“Yes.” sighed Ellen. “This is going to be just as hard as I thought.”

Sam cleared his throat. “If you make a list of stuff we don’t have I’ll go get it.”

“Thanks, Sam. I’ll have Jo go with you in case.”

Dean scowled, feeling slightly ignored. “What do I do with the diaper cream?”

“You put it on her butt so she doesn’t get a rash from the diaper. I assume you’ve changed her already.”

“Yes, I’ve changed her.” said Dean indignantly.

Ellen nodded curtly. “So you have wipes, diapers, and powder?” There was an affirmation from Dean. “Formula, blankets, clothes, pacifiers?”

“Her mom had all that stuff already.” grunted Dean, not looking anyone in the face.

There was a tense silence, then Ellen spoke again. “Alright, looks like we only need diaper cream. Oh, I almost forgot about a bath.”

“Bobby has a tub.”

Everyone in the kitchen rounded on Dean. “You can’t bathe a newborn in a regular tub!” cried Jo, immediately shushed by her mother so she wouldn’t wake the snoozing baby.

“Why not?” he was defensive, hating being ganged up on.

“Um, they’ll drown, genius.” continued Jo with an eye roll. “You need a special bath for them, and gentle soap, washcloths, towels, and lotion.”

“How do you know?” retorted Dean childishly, clenching his fists once again.

“It’s called common sense!”

Ellen inserted herself with a loud ‘hey!’ that made Cassie whimper quietly and then settle back down. “Arguing ain’t going to do any of us any good. Jo and I do have things to do besides babysit, so we’re only here long enough to help out a little. What else you do is up to you.”

Sam and Dean exchanged a wary glance, then Dean nodded firmly at Ellen.

“Okay…Let’s do this.”

_________________________

Dean couldn’t help swelling with satisfaction as he knelt on Bobby’s dusty rug, drying Cassie. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking her little red legs, but Ellen had assured him that was only because she was cold. Her bath had been successful, despite how appalled she and her father both were by the experience.

“Dress her quick so she’ll calm down.” instructed Ellen, who watched from a nearby footrest with her arms and legs crossed.

“I got it, I got it.” Dean mumbled as he tried to get a pink and white striped onesie on his wriggling daughter. Her cries were piercing, and made a strange pull in his stomach that was close to panic but more like sympathy.

“I’ll admit you’re doing good. If you weren’t a hunter I’d even say you’re cut out for this.”

That made Dean cringe. “Thanks, I think.”

Cassie was finally all the way in her pajamas, and calming by the second as she got warmer. Dean picked her up carefully and held her to his shoulder in the way that had calmed her before, and it immediately helped. She only cooed mournfully a few more times before sniffling and then yawning.

“She likes you.” Ellen’s voice was surprisingly gentle with how irritated she’d been earlier.

Dean laughed, not betraying how it comforted him to hear it. “Or it’s just gas.”

“How’s she sleeping? Do you have her on a good schedule yet?”

“I guess so.” Dean shrugged, standing up carefully so he wouldn’t jostle Cassie. “She sleeps a lot during the day, but she doesn’t cry too much at night.”

“You got lucky there. Jo slept all day and cried all night.” Ellen cast her daughter a teasing glare.

Jo was on a dusty sofa with her legs curled up, resting her head on her hand and looking pensive. “Once a night owl, always a night owl.”

“The only issue I’m having is the eating every three hours thing. Do babies really need to eat that often?” Dean looked at Cassie as if she was some kind of subhuman species. Like maybe she had two stomachs or something.

Ellen made a noise a lot like a cough that Dean could have sworn was a stifled laugh. “Do not let me get a call telling me that baby has starved to death. I’ll kick your ass, Winchester.”

“I won’t let her starve! Jeez.” Dean shook his head at Ellen’s statement. “You said yourself I’m cut out for this.”

“Hm.” was the cryptic reply from the woman next to him. With that she stood up and stretched, nodding at her daughter. “We have to go. If you have any questions I’d rather you call me then find out you’ve accidentally killed her.”

Dean scowled darkly at her lack of faith in him. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let the door hit you on the way --” a harsh slap to the back of his head cut him off.

“I’m going to take that as a ‘thank you’.” Ellen told him sternly, then her boots as well as Jo’s were moving towards the door. “Let Bobby know we left, and Dean…don’t screw this up.”

Rather than retorting angrily Dean just nodded, grunting as he carefully stood up, still holding Cassie to his shoulder. He heard Jo pause and mumble ‘goodbye’ before the door shut, causing Dean to shut his eyes and groan a little. His life needed enough sorting without him having to deal with whatever feelings he had for Jo. Luckily Sam came into the room after a few seconds, not leaving Dean alone long enough to get freaked out.

“Ellen and Jo head out?” he asked, face softening into a soppy grin when he saw Dean cradling Cassie.

Dean nodded, ignoring the idiotic smile on his brother’s face. “Uh huh. Finally. I didn’t know it was Bash Dean Day.”

“Every day is Bash Dean Day.” answered Sam with a chuckle. Then he abruptly looked serious again. “But all joking aside, you look like crap. You need some sleep.”

“I’ll sleep tonight, Sam. That’s what night is for, you know. Sleeping.”

Sam looked disgruntled at Dean’s willingness to shrug things off with humor. “If you’re worried about Cassie I’ll watch her. I was here for your ‘daddy’ lessons, too.”

“Fine, Samantha. You know if you were just dying to hold a baby you could have told me instead of forcing me into a nap. But if I wake up and you‘re trying to breastfeed her I‘ll never leave you alone with her again.”

Passing over that, Sam held his hands out to receive his niece. “Shut up and get some rest.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Dean saluted Sam before kicking his boots off and rolling on the couch so his back was to the rest of the living room.

It wasn’t twenty seconds before noisy snoring erupted from Dean, causing Sam to shake his head and carry Cassie out of the room where the noise wouldn’t disturb her.

Sam was sitting in the kitchen with Cassie on the table in her car seat when Bobby came in the back door, hands and face smudged black from the car he’d been working on. He saw Sam and raised an eyebrow, grabbing a nearby rag to wipe himself down a bit.

“Dean’s taking a much-needed nap.”

Bobby moved towards the sink, apparently deciding the rag wasn’t good enough. “The only thing Dean needs is a slap to the head.”

“Well, Ellen already beat you to that.” snorted Sam, whose large hand was resting on Cassie’s leg, her own tiny hand wrapped around his thumb. “Dean’s really trying here, Bobby. I haven’t seen him this focused since…well, since we were looking for Dad.”

Bobby made a low grunt-like noise as he scrubbed at his hands. “That doesn’t make up for what he’s done. Doesn’t make me less frustrated with him.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam mumbled, quite upset with his brother himself. “It’s not fair to her, mostly.”

Bobby looked over his shoulder, watching Sam wiggle his finger in Cassie’s grasp, her little face scrunching. Sam was exactly right about that part. It wasn’t fair to Cassie that she had to grow up with her family’s lifestyle. Bobby wouldn’t admit it, but he felt a bit bad for Dean as well. He’d gotten himself into the mess, but with everything else happening to him a baby was so much to handle.

“Bobby…I asked you if you had any ideas about what happened to Lucy.” Sam’s voice was saying, sounding concerned when Bobby hadn’t replied the first time.

Shaking his head, the older man shrugged. “Could be anything. There were no omens beforehand, so I don’t think it’s a demon. And only the mothers have died, so if it were something trying to get to Dean why haven’t any of the fathers died?”

“God, I’m so sick of mysteries.” moaned Sam, leaning his elbow on the table wearily. “Well, I’ll keep an eye on the hospital. See if there are any more unexplained deaths.”

Bobby rumbled and glanced out the window. It had started raining.

“Yeah…mysteries.”