Love Songs for the Runaway Scars

I awoke to the sound of a car passing by on the road near the park. Frank and I were wrapped up together in the blanket from my trunk. I looked at Frank’s sleeping face and it hurt to see how beautiful he was. How at peace he looked in sleep, away from the world that had given him such hell for so long. I hugged him tighter to me and rested my face on top of his head. His hair smelt good. Like honey and cinnamon mixed with the smell of motor oil from the blanket. I couldn’t help but run my fingers over the skin of his face and he stirred at my touch. I bent my head down to whisper in his ear.

“You’re pretty when you sleep,” I said sweetly.

His answer was content: “Hmmm.”

I waited a moment while he fluttered his eyes and then they opened.

“Good morning.” He said.

“Not really actually, more like early evening.”

He looked at the starry Jersey sky above us, “Oh, yeah I guess it is.” He said with a giggle.

I chuckled at him and kissed his forehead hesitantly, “Your laugh is cute.”

“Why thank you, most people just think it’s annoying.”

“Well not me.”

We were silent for a moment. Frank was looking up at the sky, and I was staring at his face, trying to decipher his thoughts.

“I didn’t know you were gay, Patrick.” Frank said softly.

I sighed thoughtfully, “Yes, well, we can’t all be as brave as you.”

He snorted a laugh, “Brave? Yeah, right.”

“You walk down the hallways everyday and let people see who you are. That is bravery. I think that’s part of the reason I’m attracted to you, your strength.”

“Hmm…”

“What is it?”

“You’re too nice for your own good.”

“It’s called honesty actually.”

He giggled up at me, “Speaking of honesty, so you’ve never, had a boyfriend, or anything?”

“Um, no, not even close. I never even dated a girl before I realized I was gay. Earlier was my first kiss.” I said this shyly, hoping it wouldn’t weird him out.

He blushed and said, “It was my first kiss too.”

I smiled put my lips to his. It was short and when we separated I leaned my forehead against his, keeping my eyes closed. He leaned into me and I sighed happily.

“What time is it?” I said into Frank’s cheek.

“I don’t know. I don’t really care.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“Frankie?”

“Yeah?”

“What are your parents like?”

Silence.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay. Um, I don’t really talk to my parents.”

“Why?”

“Well, sophomore year this guy beat me up at school and the counselor called my house and told my parents what happened and she said it was probably because I was gay. She assumed they already knew. That night when I got home, my parents told me to get out and to not come back unless I decided to be normal.”

“Oh, uh, wow. What happened? Like, where do you live?”

“Well, I decided that if my parents didn’t want me around, I would make sure I didn’t have to be around. I got a lawyer and sued my parents for emancipation. I got some help from the student union wellfare thing and I got an apartment near the school.”

I took a minute to digest this. His story was far from what I was expecting. I hugged him tighter to my body and kissed him on his forehead because I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Mm, you probably should get home, huh?”

“Probably,” I agreed unwillingly.

I stood up, letting the blanket fall off of me and helped Frankie up. I picked up the blanket from the ground and started walking towards the car.

“Where’s your apartment?” I asked Frankie when we were in the car.

“Um, it’s on 23rd and Maine, like two blocks away from the school.”

“Dude, my house is on that corner too! You’re in Oak Tree Fields Apartments?”

“Yeah, I am.” He said with a smile.

“I live in the neighborhood right across the street.”

“Awesome!”

“Yeah, it really is.” I smiled at him.

When we arrived at his apartment complex I got out of the car and opened his door for him.

“Oh what a gentleman we are.” He remarked with a giggle.

We walked to his door holding hands the whole way there.

“Well, goodnight.” He said and he stretched up on his tiptoes to kiss me.

“Goodnight,” I said into his lips, “But first,” I held my cell phone out to him and told him to put his number in my contacts. He did and I put mine in his.

“I have unlimited text, so yeah.” He told me.

“Me too, and call anytime.”

“Okay.”

I kissed him once more on the mouth and walked back to my car. I got in and watched him go in the door. I didn’t really want to go home, but I needed to, my mom was probably wondering where I was, not that she really cared. I just hoped she’d gotten off her ass long enough to feed my sister. I sighed and started the engine. I drove the short distance to my house and when I got there all the lights in the house were off and my mom’s car was parked in the drive way. I walked inside and down the hallway where all the bedrooms were. I heard the sound of the television coming from my mom’s room and opened the door.

“Hey mom, I’m home.”

She was lying in her bed watching Friend’s, “Oh, okay. Where were you?”

“I was with…a friend.” I told her.

“Well, I needed you to cook tonight, but I guess you were too busy to care about your family starving to death.”

“Sorry.”

“Go to bed.”

“Okay.”

Haha. Wow, mom, nice to know you care. I went into my room and sat on my bed. I should probably do my homework, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate. Instead I pulled out my sketchbook and a pencil from my art bag and started to draw.

I didn’t know what it was supposed to be when I started and didn’t figure it out until I was finished. My hand brushed across the page making lines and shading. Creating something out of nothing, letting the feelings in my heart find their way out in a way that no one could explain. No thought needed.

I don’t know how long it took, but when my hand no longer needed to move. When it felt that everything was where it needed to be, I looked at the once blank paper and saw something unexpected.