Tortured Hearts

B] Will’s P.O.V

We weren’t allowed out past nine and we certainly weren’t allowed down by the lake unsupervised, but I ignored the rules since I had no choice in the matter.
“Where you going, man?” a guy called Steve asked me as I pulled on my sweater, hating every minute of this.
“Out.”
“You got a girl?” he chuckled, knowing full-well that the only reason a sane guy would go out in the September chill was for a girl.
“Not in that way, though. She wants to talk.”
“Sure,” he laughed, wiggling his eyebrows at me. “You got any on you?”
“Any what?”
“Condoms, you idiot,” he replied.
“No,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I said it’s not like that.”
He threw me two anyway. “Just in case,” he replied at my expression.
Not wanting to fight him any longer, I shoved them into my back pocket and left into the cold.
I looked around briefly before I started to wander down to the lake. It was nine fifty six; I had four minutes to get there before Hanna would get testy with me. I had a grim suspicion what she wanted, but I wasn’t going to go there, especially not with her of all people.
As I approached the lake, I looked around for Hanna. It was dark and I could hardly see the path down, but she was there already. Her slim, athletic figure was standing before the lake, hands in pockets as she waited for me. She smiled in the darkness as I reached her.
“Good boy, two minutes spare.”
“Don’t patronize me,” I grumbled.
She shrugged and then turned to look out to the lake. “Isn’t it a beautiful night?”
“Just tell me what you want,” I snapped, not wanting to talk with her any more than I had to.
“I want many things, Will. Can you guess what the first thing is?”
“Enlighten me,” I retorted sarcastically.
“Kiss me.” I was about to protest when she cut me off, elaborating. “And no pathetic pecks, either. I mean a proper kiss.”
“I have a girlfriend,” I hissed.
“Why should I care?” she laughed, turning to look at me again. “Time is ticking, Mr. Stone. Unless you want me to go tell the coach about your little sec—”
“Fine.” I didn’t know whether this could class as cheating, but it was the only option I had. She grinned in the darkness as I pulled myself together, trying to persuade myself that this wasn’t that bad. I could do this and it’d all be over, my life would be back on track. I shuffled towards her, my breath a white cloud in the cold. She waited expectantly. Trying to imagine it was Alicia, I shut my eyes as I leaned in towards Hanna. Her lips were soft as mine pressed against hers, moving in a gentle motion. I wanted to hate it, to believe her lips tasted of dead fish and felt like sandpaper. But I didn’t hate it… in fact, I liked it. She grabbed the back of my head, her fingers slipping into my hair as she pulled me closer to her. She expected more and I, a weak man, gave in and let my lips part. She pressed her tongue into my mouth; I wished I could say she was a washing machine, but I’d be lying if I said that. She was a good kisser and I felt myself growing excited by the way she was kissing me.
I pushed her away quickly, not wanting to even get close to that stage. Kissing her was one thing, but getting excited by Hanna was another; it was too far.
“That’s enough,” I growled in the darkness, wiping my mouth in pretence of finding it disgusting. “I’ll have my pills back now, then.”
“No,” she replied cheerily. “I never said you could have them back if you kissed me. This isn’t over yet. I have more to ask of you yet.”
“What?” I hissed at her, stepping forward and trying to intimidate her into complying.
“Sorry if you thought differently, but that was only the beginning of this game.”
“This isn’t a fucking game,” I spat. “Stop being a stupid little girl and give me my tablets now.”
“I don’t have them,” she replied angrily. “Even if I did, I wouldn’t give them back. They’re in my cabin.”
“Where?”
“As if I’d tell you that,” she laughed, before going to leave.
“Hanna.”
“See you tomorrow, William.”
“It’s Will.”
“Whatever.”

The next day, I told the coach I was feeling ill and, thanks to my late night excursion, I had a cold to prove it. My eyes were red rimmed and my nose even redder. He told me to get some rest, hopefully I’d be better for when we were going swimming the next day.
I gave it half an hour and then rushed towards Hanna’s cabin. I’d watched where she’d gone the other night and now I was going to search the place for what was rightly mine. After all, if she had no evidence, she couldn’t tell the coach and that meant I was off her nasty hook.
I slowly entered the cabin, checking that there was no-one in there before I entered properly. Then I had to try to locate Hanna’s stuff. There were five beds and on the far one, a pink hooded sweater lay on top. She’d been wearing that the previous night. I rushed over and started to rifle through her things. The thought did cross my mind that what I was doing was wrong, an invasion of personal space, but my argument was an eye for an eye; I was doing nothing worse than what she was doing to me. If a guy was doing it (what Hanna had done to me) to a girl, he’d be branded a sick pervert, but a girl doing it to a guy was no problem. I hated that.
I blushed when I found her toiletry bag, quickly zipping it back up to hide the ‘girl things’ inside. I hoped there wasn’t too much more embarrassing things for me to find. All I wanted was my tablets.
The sound of the door opening made me jump and I turned to see Hanna storming towards me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She grabbed the bag from my hands and thrust it back into her suitcase.
“Looking for what’s mine,” I hissed as I stood upright, not letting her make me feel guilty. “Why are you here?”
“Said I had women’s troubles. You?”
“Man flu,” I replied sarcastically.
She rolled her eyes. “You’re pathetic. You won’t find your tablets in here, you dumb-ass. I moved them last night.”
“Where?” I growled.
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she laughed. “You can’t have them. Not until I decide you can, anyway.”
“I’m warning you.”
“Ooh, scary. Somehow, you don’t seem the type to hit a girl, Will.”
“I’m not,” I replied. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t make you regret what you’re doing.”
“You don’t have it in you,” she replied, sitting down on her bed and leaning back with a calculating expression. “Besides, I thought of the second thing I want.”
“Dare I ask,” I replied, wondering whether it was worse or better than the last.
Her eyes glittered as she beckoned me to lean closer. I did so and she whispered what she wanted in my ear. I shot back, disgusted. She was going way too far.
“No.”
“Shame, you can kiss your dream goodbye then. Because if you don’t do what I’m asking, I’ll have to tell the coach all about your secret.”
“You’re a right bitch, do you know that?”
She shrugged, “I’m monopolizing my advantages.”
“I won’t do it.”
“Say that one more time and it’ll be your final answer,” she warned me. “Come on, Will. Man up.”
I thought desperately about Alicia and what I’d tell her. She meant the world to me and yet I was considering what Hanna had asked me. It was all so wrong. I hated the bitchy blonde for what she was doing to me. If I could call Alicia, I’d end things just so she wouldn’t get hurt. I’d tell her things were out of my control and I couldn’t help it. She’d cry, but it’d be better than her finding out I was doing things with another girl.
“Well?” she asked.
“I’ll do it,” I replied, my heart breaking.
She grinned like the Cheshire cat, grasping my hand and slipping it beneath her waistband.

I felt cheap and dirty. I wanted to burn my entire hand off for what I’d just done. Hanna was more than just a bitch, she was a slut in my eyes. She knew I had a girlfriend, I’d told her that a million times. And yet she’d made her demands and I’d been forced to follow through. I could have said no, I knew that. That’s probably what made it worse; she had held no gun to my head.
I went to the shower blocks and scrubbed my skin till it was bright red. It was my fault that this happened. I should have paced myself that day, but I didn’t and I’d ended up in a mess so tangled I couldn’t escape. If only Alicia would see it that way. But could I tell her now? I knew I had to and that I would, it was just the question of how.