Bad Habits

~ Fast forward two months ~

I can honestly say this summer, between the time I’ve spent with friends and family, has been the best time in my life. Dave and the guys actually got a contract with Fearless records after they preformed at a local bar and coincidently, a recruiter was there that night. Not even a week later they all signed their life's away to the music industry. While all that was happening, I’ve received all acceptance letters to every college I applied to even my number one choice, the California College of the Arts for photography.

With everything happening so fast, the summer was over before I was ready for it to be, making it mid August. The boys had a going away party for me the night before I had to leave, then all brought me to the airport to bid goodbyes with my mother. On the verge of tears the entire time and feeling panicked on the inside, I made sure to have a neutral expression on my face the entire time I was saying goodbye to my boys and to the woman who raised me.

“Now make sure you’ll call me one once you land, okay?” My mom said with a stern voice, looking at me then tried to straighten out my shirt.

“I love you too mom.” I murmured out softly, giving a sad smile as I wrapped my arms around her thin frame tightly. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“Oh Ray..” She cooed out before she started to cry quietly, making my tears finally spilling, sniffling quietly as we pulled away from each other. “Be good out there, I’ll try to visit when I’ve saved up enough.”

With a nod and the same sad smile on my lips I let go of her then turned to the guys for a final goodbye, only to be engulfed into a giant group hug.

“You can’t leave me Ray! You just can’t! You need to stay and be our stage mom!” Matt cried out, hugging me tighter.

“Guys, come on.” I laughed softly, pulling myself away from the tangled mess then looked at them all and shook my head. “Y’all probably will be on tour in no time and when you hit the west coast you bet your ass I’ll be there, first in line.”

They all nodded as they looked at me with a kicked puppy look, making my heart wrench a little before I all gave them the best hugs I could along with a kiss on the cheek. When I turned to give Dave his hug he looked at me, his eyes watering slightly.

“Railyn..” He started but stopped once I held my hand up, clearing my throat.

“Dave, come on. It’s already hard enough..” I muttered softly, looking down at shoes before looking back up with him and mustered up the biggest smile I could but I’m pretty sure I looked bizarre considering I’m about to start crying.

“I know..” Dave said lowly, huffing a bit before he reached out and pulled me into a bone crushing hug which I tried to return eagerly.

The stinging in my eyes made me let go and pull back from him enough to lean forward and press a soft lingering kiss on his cheek.

“We’ll see each other in no time. There’s always calling and such so it’s not like we’re never going to see each other again.” I said, trying to tease him then let out a soft sigh when I felt his hand caressing my face gently.

“I’m going to miss you so much Ray.” He mumbled, pulling me towards him and kissed my forehead gently. “Stay out of trouble, alright?”

“I’ll try to, but you know me.” I laughed with a slight nod and a small smile on my lips as I pulled away, grabbing my cary ons on the floor. As I stood up I made just to look at everyone before I grabbed my polaroid camera out of my carry on and snapped a picture of my family.

“So I don’t forget what you guys look like.” I teased, placing my camera back but kept the picture with me, standing up straight and cleared my throat when I felt it tightening up.

“We love and miss you baby, stay strong and safe.” My mother said with one last hug and kiss then stood next to Dave, all of them waving goodbye.

“Bye guys” I said, biting on my bottom lip and gave a soft wave with my free hand before walking towards my gate. After getting through security I stopped to look over my shoulder to see everyone still standing there, watching me with sad expressions but waved when they saw I looked back, returning the gesture.

Squaring my shoulders off and took a deep breath, I stepped out of their view by stepping onto the escalators that lead up to the departing gates.

”This is all bitter sweet.” I thought to myself and sighed out softly.

With my friends advancing in their music careers like they dreamed about and me going off to my dream college, everything seemed to be perfect. Yet I just couldn’t drop the nagging feeling I had in the back of my head as I got settled in my seat, waiting for my plane to be called.