Screaming on the Inside

I stared at Marley's worried face, realizing that I must be making her nervous. But that was okay, because I was sure I was more nervous then she was. I knew this would come out choppy and bad sounding, because I hadn't been smart enough to plan this out before hand. But I knew whatever was about to come out of my mouth would be what I felt and come from my heart, and if she couldn't see that, then I guess she wouldn't be worth my time.. Or so I kept telling myself.
I turned Marley so she was sitting directly in front of me, giving the hint that this was serious. I held her hands in mine, quickly searching for the right words in my head. Here goes.. Everything.
"Okay, just don't say anything until I'm done, alright? Just hear me out." Her soft nod indicated me to go on. "There is obviously something between us. I mean, I don't act like this with just any girl or almost at all, really. The last time I acted or even felt like this was back in high school when I met Samantha, and even then it didn't feel quite like this. I know, this may be a terrible thing to be telling you, seeing as we haven't known each other too long, but I can't deny this anymore. I'm just.. Really lost for an answer here. I don't know if I should even be telling you this because there's a huge chance you won't feel the same and this would ruin everything and I'll be back at square one, mourning over people in my life that I can't seem to keep. I'm sorry for putting you through this awkward confession here, but I have to do this. Either we're together or we're not. That's what this comes down to. We can't keep acting like a couple and not being one, and we can't keep avoiding other people because we're waiting on each other. So, please, tell me.. Do you feel like I"m someone you could be with? And not just a temporary thing, I mean.. Do you think you could see yourself with me in 20 years? Married? Kids? I know it's too soon to really ask those things, but I think if you're going to date someone, you have to think about all of that. The future is everything, and if you can't see yourself with me like that, then please, just.. Don't lead me on. Tell me to leave, and I'll go, but tell me to stay and I won't go anywhere, not until the day you tell me you don't want me anymore." I stopped talking, waiting for her reply, afraid of what she was going to say. I couldn't believe how long she was taking to answer, and I was really regretting telling her all of this, wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. But when she did talk, I was shocked by what she had to say.
"Nick, I... I don't know what to say." He once almost upset face turned into something of a glowing teenage girl. Her cheeks turned a pink-ish red color and her smile took over her face. Her eyes seemed to sparkle, reminding me of the glint you see at on the ocean during sun set. I know, cliche and kind of cheesy, but in what other words could you compare? "I've been thinking about the exact same thing for a while now, and I do feel the same. " Her smile grew, showing her bright, near perfect teeth. "I really could see myself with you in 20 years, married, with kids. I would really love that. I trust you Nick, and I really want to be with you. But we can't fall apart like you and Samantha did, and I'm sure we wouldn't..." Her smile faded a bit, but her happiness still radiated off of her. "I think we could make it. Together."
I couldn't believe what she was saying. Could she really see herself married to me with kids in 20 years? Still happy, even? Would we actually make it together? Would we fall apart like Samantha and I did? There was only one way to find out.
"Well, then Miss Marley, does that mean you'd officially be mine?" I asked, her smile growing again.
She threw her arms around my neck and almost squealed. "Of course! You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear that." She pulled back from the hug to slam her lips against mine. All I could do was laugh and go along with it. We continually kissed on the couch for a long time, then ended up talking and falling asleep.
I woke up around 3AM, realizing that we were still crammed on the couch. I loved being close to her like that, but the couch wasn't the most comfortable place ever. I picked up Marley, and she didn't seem to move much, and took her to her room. I laid her down on her bed and covered her up with her blanket. This is where I would usually go back to the couch and go to sleep. I decided that it'd be better to just stay with her, so I did. I took my spot next to her and she automatically curled into me. I loved that about her, the way she'd cuddle in her sleep without even realizing it.
I watched her sleep, her calmness was comforting to me. I just felt really relaxed and worry free. I didn't feel like I had to be somewhere or do anything else then what I was doing. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain pour down on the house and ran my fingers through her hair while lightly humming carelessly until I fell asleep.