Screaming on the Inside

The second we walked into Marley's dad's house, I knew this wouldn't be the normal "meeting the parents" kind of thing. I knew it would probably be a bit emotional, even thought I only knew very little about the situation. I didn't really care what actually happened. as long as I got her dad's approval, and he genuinely saw how much I cared about his daughter, then I didn't care.
"Dad?" Marley called when she quietly opened the door.
"In here." Replied, who was obviously, her dad. His voice was raspy and dry sounding, I already felt bad for the man.
We walked into the living room where he sat on a recliner, hooked up to a breathing machine and watching TV. The history channel. It was kind of cliche in my mind, I always imagine the typical dad sitting on the couch watching the history channel.
He looked much older then he really was, probably due to his condition. He looked weak and it was evident that he had a hard time living by himself. Marley obviously wanted to help, but how could she just move out on Carly and move back home?
"Hey." Marley smiled in her dad's direction.
His face lit up and he seemed excited to see his daughter. "Hi there darlin'." He said as Marley leaned down to hug him.
She took a small step back and laced her fingers together behind her back. "Hoe are you today?"
"Not the best day, but I get to see my little girl so I'm sure it'll get better." What an awesome dad. I wish my dad was like that. My dad kicked me out when I married Samantha.
"Aw. Well I'm glad I can help." She turned her gaze to me and took my hand, pulling me closer to her. "Dad, this is Nick, remember? The guy I was talking about?" She blushed as she said the last sentence.
"Oh alright. Hi there son." He smiled and held out his hand to shake.
I shook his hand with the one that wasn't being held by Marley and replied, "Hello." I tried not to sound like I was trying to impress him, so I decided not to call him "sir". I did want to impress him though. I honestly wanted him to think that no one would be better suited for his daughter then me, but even I had my doubts. I was sure she could find someone 10x better then me.
"Daddy, do you want me to make you lunch? I know you haven't had a real home cooked meal since Carly and I came over." Marley offered,
"You don't have to come over here and cook for me, I just want your company." Like I said earlier.. What an awesome dad!!
"It's okay. I'll make a pizza. While I'm cooking you can talk to Nick." She smiled, and walked into the kitchen. She obviously had no idea how nervous that made me, not because of his condition or anything, but because now I had to strike up conversation with her dad and pray he doesn't hate me.
I sat down on the couch, next to the recliner, and paid attention to the TV, but he quickly started a conversation before I could think of anything to say.
"So, Nick, what do you do? For work. I mean." I hated this question. I knew he'd think that being a "rock star" wasn't suited to take good care of his daughter. I was sure he knew what a crazy life that is, and how little money you actually bring in.
"I, actually, sing." I said, trying to keep as many details out as I could.
"Do you? What do you sing?" He seemed really curious.
"Well, I sing for a band called Get Scared. We're kind of rock or horrorcore I guess." I wasn't sure if he knew what that meant, but I figured he'd ask if he cared.
"Horrorcore?" Of course he cared..
"Yeah. Kind of like.." I thought for a second, thinking of what I could compare it to. "Like a scary movie, except music. If you look at music like movies, you have chick flicks, that would be the same as pop, rave movies, that would be like techno, western movies, that would be like country music, and so on. So our music would be in the horror section." I was shocked at how I came up with that. I never even thought of that before I explained it.
"Oh I see." He seemed pretty amused with it, like he just discovered a new part of life. "So you play around the world?"
"Not yet." I answered. I found him easy to talk to. "I hope, though. We tour the US, but we aren't famous enough in other countries to tour there yet."
"Oh. So when you tour, how long are you gone for?" I was afraid of that question.
"Uhm, it can be anywhere from 2 weeks, to 2 months. I've never toured longer then a month and a half." I tried to reassure.
"I'm a little worried about Marley being home by herself while you're away." I knew he'd think that, so I was trying t come up with some way of making it sound a bit better then it was.
"Well, she still has Carly and Jacky. I mean, I don't tour all that often, but I'd really like to get her a job with us, so she could just come with us and make some money at the same time. I'm sure she'd get a little more then she would now." I actually had been thinking about getting Marley a merch girl job or something, but I never really acted on it.
"Oh. Well that would be nice." He sounded a little sad, but then I realized that I just told a dying man that I was going to try and take his daughter from him for 2 months. Awesome. Way to go Nick. Way. To. Go.
"The only part that wouldn't be good is that she wouldn't be able to see you for all that time. SO I think we're going to avoid a tour, for now. so we don't have to worry about that. Plus, right now we're in the process of making a new album, so I don't think we'll have to worry." He seemed a little relieved after I said that. But still. I felt absolutely stupid.
"Well that's good. So what else do you like?" I was guessing that he just wanted to know more about me, probably to make sure I wasn't a lunatic.
"Uh, I don't know. I like art, but I'm a terrible artist." He chuckled a little, then implied that I keep talking. "Uhm, I don't know, really. I"m kind of an all around 'don't judge it till you try it' kind of guy."
"Not anything mentionable?"
"Well, I'd say 'your daughter', but I wouldn't want you to take that the wrong way." I laughed, but he completely roared with laughter. I guess he found that funny.
"Oh, son, you're funny. I like you." He said, calming down from his fit of laughter. "Of course you're supposed to like my daughter! Wouldn't be dating her if you didn't, would you?" Apparently he didn't get that I was telling him to not take that sexually. Fine by me. I wasn't explaining that to him.
"Right." I smiled.
He got a serious look on his face. "Now son, you answer this truthfully okay?"
I was pretty nervous, I could have shit out my stomach and not even notice. "Okay."
"Do you care about my daughter?"
"Yes."
"Do you intend on being faithful and taking care of her?"
"Yes."
"Do you have intentions on marrying her?"
"I wouldn't be dating her if I didn't." That, was the most honest I'd been in a long time, and I think he knew it.
I looked over to the entry way of the kitchen where Marley was standing. She was probably just walking in to tell us that it's ready, but apparently she heard a very vital part of our conversation. It was my turn to blush now. I'd obviously told her I thought that way before, but she just caught me saying that to her dad. Yikes.
"Lunch is ready." She started walking again, carrying the platter with the pizza on it.
We both expressed our thank you's and the three of us sat around, talking about nothing, and eating. It was really nice, actually. Something I hoped we could do again.
Eventually, we had to leave, but I couldn't get something he said out of my head. We were all sitting there, mindlessly talking, and he was talking about his cancer. He apparently wasn't afraid to die, because he told Marley "You're more afraid of my death then I am." I was shocked to hear it, even though I, too, knew it was true. But why would he tell her that? Wasn't he afraid that would hurt her feelings? She had a look on her face that suggested so, but she didn't tell him so.
He also kept saying things like "before I die.." and "After I'm dead" or even "I know I won't be around much longer, but.." I think it made Marley uncomfortable, talking about it, especially when he looked and talked like he did. She had to have been in a bad mood. When we got in the car to go home, it was about 7PM. Yeah. We stayed all day. I didn't do anything to rush her out anyway, I liked talking to him.
Marley was really quiet in the car, but I was afraid to ask why. I didn't want her gettin upset, but maybe she just needed to talk about it? Whatever it was.
"Marley?" I said, looking over to her and resting a hand on her leg.
"Hm?" She turned her gaze to me calmly.
"What's wrong hun?" I asked. I wanted to let her know that I cared about her thoughts and emotions, because that's not something most guys seem to care about.
"I don't know. It's just.. There was a lot my dad said to me today that got me thinking." She paused for a second, before continuing. "I obviously knew he was going to die, but lately.. It's happening Nick. I can see him getting weaker every time I see him. And what if something bad happens while no one is there? Or what if something bad happens and I'm the only one there to do anything? And what if he dies by himself or something? I'm just worried."
"Well, I can't make the cancer go away. You know I would if I could. And I can't make you feel better about what's going on, but I think I can ease your mind from it for a while." I offered. I hated seeing her sad. I just wanted her to smile.
"oh yeah?" She said, full of hope.
"How about, when we get home, we get in PJ's or something, drink something warm and curl up together on the couch, watch a movie?" I could see a bit of relief from the look in her eyes. I got the sense that that sounded good to her.
"That actually sounds amazing. But can I take a hot bath first? That always helps my nerves." She asked.
"Of course you can. I'll run the water for you when we get back." I flashed her a smile and kissed her cheek, still trying to keep an eye on the road.
When we did get home, I text Carly and made her stay out with Jacky again. I was glad that she didn't mind not being home. She was especially okay with not coming back when I told her our plans. I ran hot water for Marley's bath, hot enough to relax in, but not too hot as to burn. I set out a clean towel for her and put bubbles in the bath with a lavender scent so it would really calm her down.
Marley was walking into the bathroom as I walked out, so I stopped her by holding her shoulders. "You're going to get your hair wet again?" I had to stop myself from cooing. She had to have thought that terrible cooing habit was annoying.
"I didn't really want to but I guess I will. I can't find my hair clip to keep it up."
I leaned over to the sink and picked up a hair tie, then carefully ran my fingers through her hair until it was all pulled back and out of her face. I put it up in a sloppy bun.
"There. Go on now." I quickly kissed her pretty lips and directed her into the bathroom.
I would do anything for this woman. I felt like admitting something to her, but thought I had admitted enough, so I decided it would be best to save that for another day.