Screaming on the Inside

My head slammed into the window as Jacky violently drove out of the parking lot. I wasn't exactly sure what was going on until I looked in the rear-view mirror. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; that little red car that gave me so much hope of being free. I knew I hadn't been "trapped" for that long, but it's not something anyone wants to experience for even a minute.
Nick's car seemed to be a bit faster then Jacky's but something told me that there was no way Jacky was giving up so easily. He kept swerving around curves and blazing through traffic, trying to loose him. It worked.
After about 20 minutes of trying to get rid of Nick, Jacky somehow managed to do it. All hope of mine was lost and I began to feel completely lost. How could this happen? I knew I shouldn't have trusted Carly.
"About time we got rid of him." Jacky said, putting his arm around my while still driving with his other hand.
"Why Jacky?" I said calmly, quickly raising my voice as I spoke. "Why the hell did you do that? You could have gotten rid of me! You could have let me go home! Why can't you just let me be with who I want?" I started screaming at him, I'd honestly never been that pissed off. "My dad is at home dying right now! My boyfriend is probably either furious or scared out of his mind and I'm completely by myself, wondering when I'm going to get raped again!!!" My screaming got so loud and violent that my voice started to crack and tears stared to stream down my face again, but I wasn't sad. Oh no. I was pissed.
"Calm down!" He said putting his hand back on the wheel and getting angry with my yelling.
"No! I won't calm down! I'm not going to freaking calm down until I'm at home! With my boyfriend, you fucking asshole!"
"You're with your boyfriend now! I'm your boyfriend! So shut the hell up and get over it!" His anger was going to turn into something violent, I knew that, but I was more then willing to get hit if it meant I could at least yell at him.
"No! I"m done! I can't do this! You can't make me do this anymore! You are not my boyfriend, I don't love you, I'm never going to love you! You can go crawl in a fucking hole and die for all I care! Fuck you and everything you're worth, which really isn't much anymore." And there it was. The hit. I was just expecting a slap in the face, but instead I got a fist right to the cheek bone, even though I was sure he was aiming for my eye. I cried out, probably more in shock then pain, and sat quiet. I didn't want to risk getting anything worse then that.
We drove for about 30 minutes before we stopped at a motel. Great. I was afraid of what was ahead of me, seeing as I pissed him off. Jacky got out of the car, slamming the door,and going into the office to buy a room. I tried as hard as I could to get out, but it was entirely useless. He soon came back and drug me into the room, making sure to have an uneeded tight grip on me.
He thrust me to the bed and climbed on top of me. He was mad, that was obvious, but I was hoping he wasn't wanting anything other then to yell at me or something. No such luck.
More violently then he had before, he ripped down my pants and started making me feel dirty and disgusting like he had the first time. I tried to ignore it and focus on something else, but that's a little impossible when you have someone violently thrusting into you, not caring about how it feels.
I let out small cries, but I tried not to, unsure if that would turn him on or something. When he was done, he still seemed pissed, so he tied my arms to the bed post and warned; "If you even think about fucking moving I'll slit your throat so fast you won't even know it's coming. I'll gut you like a damn fish, don't think I won't." The look in his eyes didn't make me doubt him, by any means.
Jacky went to the bathroom where I heard the sound of the shower turn on. I was glad he was away from me for a bit, but I still felt hopeless and disgusting from what just happened. I tried as hard as I could to untie the rough ropes, but somehow he managed to get them so tight that they wouldn't budge. He must have been a cub scout as a child. Bad time for jokes. Sorry.
Anyway, I did my best to sleep, but couldn't manage to escape reality. There was a lot I couldn't do, I realized. I couldn't escape, I couldn't go home, I couldn't be with Nick, I couldn't be with my dad, and I couldn't sleep. It wasn't fair.
Jacky came back into the room after 20 minutes, hair dried but nothing done to it, and crawled in bed next to me, cuddling me as much as he could. There was honestly nothing he could do to get closer. I wanted to punch him, but my arms were tied and I didn't want hit.
"Learn anything?" He asked.
"Were you trying to teach me a lesson?" I spat.
"If you didn't get the message I'm sure I could try again.." He prompted. No way.
"I know what you were doing you asshole. Do you really think if you just rape me I'll cower down to you? Or that I'll 'learn a lesson'?"
"Well that was my first plan. It's better then kicking the shit out of you isn't it? Or even killing you and having sex with your lifeless body?" The things he was saying were completely demented and gross. I couldn't believe I thought this guy was my friend. And I really couldn't believe I wanted to be with him.
"You're sick. You've changed Jacky. I honestly don't ever want to see your face again, unless it's in a casket." I glared at the ceiling, trying to keep my cool and not lash out again.
"Oh yeah?" He crawled on top of me again, forcing me to look at him. He obviously wasn't going for sex again, but he crashed his lips on to mine, making me feel the need to bite him.
I waited for him to get off and just held still, but his anger was starting to take over him again. "Kiss back." He growled. "Open your mouth.." I slightly opened my mouth, not wanting to get hurt. He forced his tongue in my mouth, making me want to puke. His disgusting tongue felt strange in my mouth, and I hated it. His lips were cold and hard, and his kiss wasn't meaningful. It was lust filled and forced, something I wasn't used to. I was really used to the love and caring nature of Nick's kisses, which could also be why I was having such a hard time trying to care about Jacky like I did Nick. I wanted to love Jacky, because if I did then I wouldn't have to go through this anymore, but I didn't. And that was it. "Fucking kiss back." Jacky growled again.
I kissed him back, squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my fists. My mouth hurt and it definitely felt like I was going to have a few bruises. My cheek still hurt from the punch and wasn't helping me focus on other things. All I could think about was how much I missed Nick and how I wanted nothing more but his warm embrace, something I never thought I'd get.
Jacky eventually, satisfied with what he'd done, went back to cuddling on me and went to sleep. All I could do was wait for the sun to rise.
***
The next morning I woke up to Jack untying me from the bed. "Get up slut. It's time to go." He said. Slut?
"Okay then." I quietly said, doing the best I could not to get killed. I got up and tried to fix my hair a little, hoping to feel a bit better about myself.
"Get in the shower. you have 10 minutes." He granted. I got in the shower, glad he let me do it by myself. I indulged in the shower for as long as I could, feeling a bit cleaner. I hated the feel of Jacky on my skin, the way he touched me and looked at me made my skin crawl.
I got out of the shower and quickly got dressed in the clothes I'd just taken off. Gross. I came back into the room and Jacky immediately grabbed me and tied me up in the car again. He was incredibly paranoid and wouldn't leave me untied for more then necessary.
We drove aimlessly it seemed, somewhere... I had no idea where we were going, and I didn't think he knew either. I saw that he was speeding and wished that a cop would notice and stop him. I knew that wouldn't happen, so I hopelessly stared out of the window, praying that a little red car would arise from somewhere behind us.
Something amazing happened, something I thought just seconds ago was impossible. A cop car sped up behind us out of nowhere, but his lights weren't on. I'd previously noticed that when Jacky got mad, he drove faster. He hadn't slowed down yet so I did my best to piss him off.
"I hate you." I complained. "You're annoying as shit and I really don't know why you think you're good enough for me." It came out of nowhere but I had to do something.
"What?" I said, in disbelief.
"You heard me you little bitch. Fuck you. And by the way, next time you decide to rape me, could you at least take some kind of pill to make your dick bigger? It's a little pathetic." I knew if the cop wouldn't pull us over that I would be good as dead.
"Listen here you little cock sucker.." He said, but was cut off my the sweet sound of police sirens. "Damn it!" He yelled. He could do one of two things. One, speed up and try to out run the cop which would get him arrested and have bigger charges on him, or two, he could pull over and pray I didn't rat him out. "If you even fucking think about saying anything I'll slit your throat so fast.. I will find you and I will kill you, your little boyfriend, and your daddy. Got it?"
I didn't answer him as he pulled over and quickly covered my tied hands with a hoodie he had sitting in the back.
The officer came up to the window. "Boy, do you know how fast you were going?" He asked.
"55 right? That's the speed limit." He said, innocently.
"I got you clocked at 70." This man didn't seem happy.
"Oh wow. My speedometer must be really off.. I'm so sorry! I can't even believe this.." He was an amazing actor. If I hadn't known any better, I would have believed him.
"Well, you just drive slower now, you hear?" Oh no. He was letting him get away with it.
"Of course." Jacky said.
The cop started walking away and I knew this was my last chance. "Wait!!" I screamed. The cop turned around as I managed to kick the hoodie off of my hands. "Please help me." I cried, hoping Jacky couldn't talk his way out of this one.
"What is going on here?" He got mad but seemed to know exactly what to do. He immediately opened Jacky's door and flung the keys out of the ignition, so he couldn't drive away. As Jacky leaped back for the keys the officer put him in handcuffs and threw him on the ground, gun pointed at his head ready to shoot. "You move and I'll shoot!" He warned.
The officer called for back up and they were there within 10 minutes. The cops freed me from the car and took me to their station where, after hours of questioning, I got to make any phone calls I needed. I was glad I had Nick's number memorized.
"Uhm, hello?" He sounded confused, but also worried and hurt at the same time. His tone made me want to cry.
"Nick! Hey, where are you right now?" I rushed, as if it would bring him to me sooner.
"Marley?! Babe where are you?" He disregarded my question, but I didn't mind.
"I'm at a police station in Marysvale. Please, come get me, okay?" I begged, knowing I wouldn't have to, but hoping he'd hurry.
"Yeah of course, you have to tell me what happened when I get there okay?" I could hear him shuffling around in his car.
"Yes! Yes, I'll tell you everything. Just get here soon , okay? Where are you right now?"
"I'm about 20 minutes from Marysvale okay? Just passing through Joseph right now. I'll be there as soon as I can." He promised. It was good to hear his voice.
"Okay. Thank you.. I love you."
"I love you." We hung up and I felt more relieved then ever, even though I knew Nick would be mad when he saw the bruises on my face.
20 more minutes of waiting went by before Nick finally came to my rescue. I could see him walk up to the woman at the desk from the room I was in. "Hello sir how can I help you?" She asked.
"I'm looking for Marley, the girl that came in a while ago?" He asked, all innocent. Awww.
She looked at him as if he were dirt or beneath her in some way, probably because of the long hair, piercings, and make up. Bitch.
"I'm sorry but I can't let you visit anyone without confirmation. She was obviously just stolen and we can't risk letting that happen again."
"I understand, but realize that I"m her boyfriend. She just called me telling me to pick her up. You can ask her yourself." He explained cooly.
"Sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." She said, not even looking at him.
I turned to the cop that was in the room with me. "She won't let him in." I said, sadly.
"Oh is that lover boy?" He smiled. I may or may not have told him a little about Nick.
"Yes. That's him." I smiled, loving saying that.
The cop got up and walked out of the room to the desk. "Is there a problem?"
"No sir, just trying to deal with a few problems." He hinted at Nick, thinking no one else would notice or that he was on her side with it.
"Oh yeah? Well you aren't doing a very good job." He stated, taking Nick back to the room.
I got up and ran to him, engulfing him in a hug. He picked me up and twirled me around, relived to see me, even though I knew he hadn't noticed the bruises yet. "Oh my gosh you have no idea how much I missed you." I said quickly.
"I'm so sorry Marley. I should not have dropped you off, I should have just kept you like you wanted." He apologized. I knew he'd blame himself.
"Baby, no." I smiled, incredibly happy to just feel safe again. "No, please don't blame yourself. It's okay. It's not your fault Jacky's crazy."
"I'll just give you two a minute.." The cop said, awkwardly, making us both laugh. He left and we pulled apart, kissing. I never realized how perfect his lips felt on mine until they weren't there anymore. I appreciated him much more, not that I didn't before.
We broke off and he looked at my face, noticing the bruises and lightly touching them. "Tell me what happened." I knew that he already knew Jacky was violent, it was obvious, but I also knew he wasn't expecting what I was about to say.
I told him everything, every detail about what happened. I didn't want to leave anything out, in case it got brought up later and have him think I was hiding it from him. I knew he was pissed off, but he didn't want to show me because it would upset me.
When I was done talking, I waited for Nick's reaction. I wasn't sure if he was upset or angry or whatever, but hopefully I wouldn't have to deal with Jacky again. That's all I cared about.