Screaming on the Inside

I woke up the next morning, expecting Marley to still be asleep. Instead, I woke up alone. It was the first of many, though at the time, I had no idea. I sat up and looked at the clock; 10 AM. I looked around for a note or something, Marley never left without a note or something to tell me where she'd gone. I faintly heard voices coming from the kitchen, one of which I knew was hers. I shrugged it off and got in the shower, fully indulging in it. I well took my time, letting the hot water run down my body for at least 10 minutes. I soon filled the bathroom with steam and decided I'd better get out.
I got out and straightened my hair, even though I had intentions of staying home all day. I put on some make up as well, knowing Marley had a thing with it. She appreciated it, to say the least. I threw on a t-shirt and tight jeans and made my way to the kitchen after brushing my teeth for the second time that morning. I was paranoid.
"Hey babe." I said, walking over to Marley and kissing her lips. She was sitting at the table eating breakfast.
"Hi there." She smiled.
"Well hey buddy!" TJ said enthusiastically from across the table, indulging in food. Shocking.
"You didn't go home yet? I'm shocked." I said, almost glaring at him.
"I figured it'd be nice if I spent the day with you guys! We're going to a carnival tonight! You game?" I was a bit confused. He and my girlfriend were going to a carnival together... And I was the one getting the extra invitation? What the hell?
"Uhm, yeah. I guess." I answered, slightly off set by the fact that Marley agreed to go anywhere with him, especially because of how he acted the night before. And she agreed to go with him without making sure I was going first.
"If you don't want to you don't have to. Marley and I can go and you can stay home if you want." I knew he wasn't intentionally doing it, but that kind of hurt. Especially since Marley didn't even say anything that would encourage me to go.
"No, it sounds fun. I guess it'd be cool to get out of the house, huh?" I went over to the fridge to avoid the rest of the conversation.
"Oh! Nick, I totally forgot to make extra. I'm sorry!" Marley apologized.
"Oh, it's alright. I'm not really hungry anyway." I lied. How could she forget about me? I wasn't exactly understanding anything at the moment. First she left before I woke up, then she agreed to go to a carnival with a dude that obviously wants her body, then she didn't even bother to make breakfast for me when she had no problem cooking for for another man? What was going on? I felt like I was being very selfish and overreacting, but the more I thought about it, the more it made me wonder..
I sat down at the table with a glass of orange juice and listened to TJ and Marley talk. They didn't make an effort to even look at me so I decided not to get in on the conversation. I felt very awkward and out of place. But I was the boyfriend, why was I the one feeling like the third wheel?
The whole entire day went like that. I said maybe three words to Marley through the whole day, and she never noticed. She was having a blast hanging out with TJ. I stuck around all day, but didn't say anything to her but "I love you" when I was sitting next to her on the couch. All she did was smile then look back at TJ. That's when I knew something as really wrong.
We went to the carnival, TJ and Marley took front seats, TJ driving and I sat in the back awkwardly the whole time. I figured that once we got to the carnival, TJ would go try to find a hot girl to take home and things would finally go back to normal. Boy, was I wrong.
"I'll pay!" TJ offered when we got to the gate.
"Aw, how nice! Thanks." Marley smiled at him.
"Oh shit! Hey Nicky Blake! You got yourself covered? I don't have the money I thought I did." Of course.
"Yeah, I'm good." I said, not even looking at him. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me. One of my best friends! He was trying to take my girlfriend from me, and it was working already. I also couldn't believe that Marley was mindlessly giving into him. She had no idea what he was doing, or how I was feeling.
"Hey! Let's go ride the tilt-a-whirl!! TJ said, grabbing Marley's hand and starting to run.
"Slow down!" Marley laughed. and she never realized that I wasn't right behind her.
I tried to catch up with them, but lost sight of the both of them and when I went to the ride, they'd already left. I didn't know what to think or do, so I walked around aimlessly.
Two hours and ten missed calls later, I finally found Marley and TJ. They were at a hot dog stand and TJ was ordering for her, I knew he was lying about his money. I decided to watch from afar, just to see how he was acting with her. He slipped his hand to her lower back as she took her order and she didn't even seem to notice. He said something to her and she smiled and laughed with him. They were even sharing food, she''d take a bite, then he would, back and forth. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I knew Marley didn't have guy friends, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and assumed that she figured that that's just how guys were. But she didn't seem phased at all. I just wished she had a little emotion about it.
I went to walk over to them until I saw TJ kiss the side of her mouth. I could finally hear them now.
"TJ, why did you just kiss me?" She asked, more confused than concerned.
"Because I think I should be the one that's allowed to do that. Not Nick." He smiled. What?
"TJ.. That's bad.. I can't do that to him." She frowned.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him!" He defended. What?!
"I'm not a cheater!" She exclaimed, but she wasn't even mad at him..
"You don't have to be! Break up with the dude! I know you aren't happy with him! It's so obvious!" What?! I'd seriously had enough, but I couldn't show them I was now spying on them until I knew for sure the whole situation. Until I knew what she was going to do.
"It's obvious that I'm not happy? I thought I was just fine.." She seemed to question herself.
"Yeah! You guys don't act like the normal happy and in love couple. You're just.. Blah." He convinced her.
"Really? I mean, I know I don't know much about relationships, but.. I thought we were great together." She seemed to try to defend us, but not as much as I would have.
"I don't think so. I think you're too good for him." I could not believe he was messing with her mind like that. Marley was far too innocent to really see what he was doing. She had no idea what he was doing to her and there would be nothing I could do to convince her otherwise until she matured and realized it on her own.
"Why do you say that?" She asked, instead of trying to defend me. Thanks babe.. Love you too..
"Because! He could relapse at any time Marley! He was suicidal before Samantha, in high school. Lloyd and Johnny told me a lot. He's always been depressed and he likes to OD. We all know that. You've seen it. Do you think his doctor was actually ignorant enough to up the dose without trial first? No way! He took way too many because he was upset and he wanted to die! That's the truth.. I mean, who do you believe? Plus, he just got out of a marriage, what makes you more than a rebound? At least with me, you'll always be my number one choice." I couldn't even believe what he was going on. He told a lot of the truth, and he was right about most of it. Yes, I was suicidal. Yes, I did try to kill myself in the past. But the doctor did screw up the dosage, and I never used Marley as a rebound. I simply fell in love her with her. But everything TJ said sounded so good and so true, even I would have believed him, had I not known better.
"I'm just a rebound?" She asked, sadly. My heart broke into a million pieces for two reasons. One, the fact that she thought I didn't love her. And two, she was probably going to break up with me, like TJ wanted.
"Yeah.. I hate to be the one who has to tell you but no one wants to hurt your feelings. So I'm going to be a good friend and tell you that he just wants to be with someone. Anyone. He just doesn't want to be alone." That was really when I started to hate TJ. I hated him with a sick passion and I wanted him to die for making Marley feel that way.
I had enough. I came out from where I was and approached them.
"Let's go home." Marley said, and walked right by me to the front gate to go to the car.
"What happened?" I asked TJ, knowing damn well.
"I don't know." He said, making sure Marley was out of ear shot. "Maybe she doesn't want you anymore. Maybe you hurt her feelings so bad that she just might have to run into my arms and leave your sorry ass." He taunted.
"You lied to her. You know you did." I glared, giving away my secret.
"You know I did too then, huh? Good luck fixing that one lover boy. Well, dead boy, I should say. Seeing as when she dumps you you're going to start smoking and drinking and trying to kill yourself again. And I'm going to tell Johnny that I think it's time to let you go, get a new singer. We can't have someone as emotionally unstable as you. Sorry bro." And that was it.
I knew that my life, in those few minutes, had been destroyed. TJ was going to take away everything I lived for. My music, my happiness, and the love of my life. It was all going to go away, and all I could do was wave goodbye.