On The Mend

Apparently I posted this update two months ago. I didn't have that noted in my word document so I reposted it again today (5/23). I'm sorry for cluttering your inboxes! A new chapter will be up either Friday or Saturday.


When I arrive back in Chicago, Alisa is waiting at Midway Airport to pick me up. All I have with me is my purse and bag of luggage, the papers tucked gently into a side pocket hidden by unwashed t-shirts. For whatever reason, I found myself upset over Adam's reaction while I was on the plane. Upset enough that I actually started crying. It was the look in his eyes, I think, that made me begin to over think things. It was the same look, with the same dull blue color, that he gave me when I confronted him about his cheating. At that time, I didn't know what the look was, but after analyzing after a second time I can finally place it. It was a look of regret.

"You look like hell ran you over,” Alisa tells me as I open the passenger side door of her car. Due to my blotchy eyes and lack of sleep on the flight, I'm wearing extra large sunglasses and my hair looks like it's been attacked by a flock of seagulls.

"Thanks,” I grumble, tossing my bag into the backseat. I slam the door to go along with my foul mood. “It's good to see you, too.”

"What crawled up your ass and died?” She begins to pull out of the lot, ignoring the direction of traffic controllers and cutting off a minivan. “I'm the one that had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to get you from the middle of the damn ghetto. You couldn't have flown into O'Hare? Seriously.”

"I'm sorry. Next time I go to Dallas I'll make sure to plan my trip around your preferences.”

Alisa slams on the brakes, almost causing a four car collision. I grip the dashboard and scream for my life. “Cut the shit,” she tells me and looks at me like an overbearing mother. “What the fuck happened in Dallas that made you like this? And don't bullshit me.” She begins to drive again after being flipped the bird over thirty times. “Did he at least sign the papers?”

"The papers are signed,” I sigh, resting my head against the window.

"Then what the fuck, man?”

"I slept with him. We slept together. It was probably a mutual thing but the actual act has been blocked from my memory.”

She slams on the brakes again and I thank whatever Gods there are that there's nobody behind us because we definitely would have died had there been. “Are you fucking kidding me right now!? Soph!”

"I know,” I sob and bury my head in my hands. “I feel terrible. Brody is never going to forgive me. I'm such a whore.” Tears are falling freely down my cheeks and I take the sunglasses off because there's no point for them anymore. “So I hid myself away and that's why Sharpie called you...I'm sorry, Lis. And then, somehow, Adam found me and came to my hotel and he found out about Brody and that's why he signed the papers. And his eyes...his eyes were so sad, Lis. I felt so bad.”

"You shouldn't feel bad for him! He's the piece of shit that caused this!” she yells, scaring a group of teenage girls walking down the street because she's so loud. “He deserves to feel like the scum that he is,” she tells me, quieter this time. “And as for sleeping with him...don't tell Brody.”

"Don't tell him?' I ask. Alisa is pro-honesty and hates bullshit. Her last relationship ended because she cheated on her boyfriend and told him to his face what she'd done. The last advice I'd expect from her is to lie about fidelity.

"Don't tell him,” she confirms with a nod of her head. The car starts to move again and I vow to not say anything to make her slam on the brakes again. “He doesn't need to know. Technically Adam is still your husband. As much as that sucks. But since technically you're still married I don't think it's considered cheating.”

"Are you sure?”

"Yeah. Now turn this shit off,” she motions to the radio. “I'm so not in the mood to bump it like it's the nineties.”


Brody and I are laying in bed after a combination of amazing “I missed you so much” and “I'm finally free of my ex-husband” sex, him rubbing circles on my stomach and me running my fingers through his hair. I swear we've been in here for the last four hours but in reality it's only been about forty five minutes. It's one of the things I love most about Brody – he makes the time we spend together last forever and it's never dull. When I got home, I found orchids laying all over the apartment waiting for me. All together they added up to three bouquets worth of flowers, different colors displaying different assortments and meanings. Alisa almost threw up out of jealousy.

"I'm so glad I get to spend forever with you,” Brody says as he kisses my stomach lightly.

"Mmhmm,” I reply with content. The situation with Adam is still heavily weighing on my mind but I'm thankful that tomorrow, after a visit to my lawyer's office, I will officially be rid of him. After almost two years I will finally be divorced. I can't be more excited.

Brody sits up and pulls me to straddle his midsection. I kiss his shoulder lovingly. With Brody, I am happy. I am content. I am able to trust again and love with my whole heart, not just the unbroken pieces of it. With Brody, I am home.

"Tomorrow,” I whisper to him. “Tomorrow, I am all yours. Forever.”


My heels cluck loudly on the marble floors of the attorney's office, distracting everyone within a three foot radius of me. I don't care. I'm here to get divorced and I'm going to wear my “fuck me” shoes to prove how euphoric I am. Male heads turn as I push the elevator button, staring me down like I'm a the prey and they're the hunter. They're either choosing to ignore the engagement ring on my finger or they're too busy looking at my ass to notice. Either way, I don't care. I look hot and I know it.

I reach the fifteenth floor and smile politely at Jane, the receptionist. We've developed a friendship of sorts, what with me calling in all the time to check on the status of my divorce. She knows the entire story and offers me a reliable person to talk to when I need it, something I can't say Alisa is most of the time. In exchange for her kindness, I send her gifts to the office all the time so she can show off to her snobbish coworkers. It's a win-win for the both of us.

"Sophia!” she grins. “It's good to see you here in person. What's the occasion?”

"I've got the papers,” I tell her enthusiastically, pulling them from my purse.

"Signed by Adam?” She's in shock and I know it. I can't wait to see the look on my lawyer's face when she sees them. “I don't believe it, girlfriend. Good for you. I'll buzz Ruthie for you,” she says, referring to my lawyer. She does as she said and smiles at me again, “Go on back. You know where it is.”

The next time Jane sees me, I am rushing out of Ruthie's office with big, fat tears rolling down my face. She stands up to try and console me but the elevator arrives before she can. I ignore the stares coming in my direction because this time they're for the wrong reason: I am the idiot that nobody ever wants to be, crying in public. I am in hysterics and shock all at the same time. I leave my car in the garage and start walking down Clark knowing that I am not in the right mindset to drive and head to the only place I know I will not be treated with a bias.


"Soph?” Abby asks as she opens the door. I hug her and her barely there pregnant belly and she holds me tightly. Patrick must be doing something for the team because he's not in his usual spot on the couch. “Soph, baby, what's wrong?”

"I can't get divorced,” I cry and bury my head in her shoulder.

"What are you talking about? Did Adam sign the papers?”

"Yes but it doesn't count!”

"How does it not count?” Abby asks. She pulls away from me and grabs my hand. “Come, sit down. You don't need to be standing. Especially in those heels...damn girl.”

"It's been so long that the papers have been voided and I brought the wrong copy to Dallas and so now I'm not divorced and I have to call Adam which means I have to talk to him again which I don't want to do and he needs to come here and sign them because they're not real if they're signed in another county.” I'm hiccuping by the end of my rant because I've been breathing so heavily and the crying is only making it worse. “And we slept together in Dallas which makes me the biggest whore on the planet.”

Abby rubs my back in a soothing way, “First of all, you're not a whore. Second of all, can they even do that? Void divorce papers?”

"I guess so,” I sniffle and rub my sleeve against my nostrils in a very unattractive way. “I am just so ready to be divorced, Ab. I'm sick of feeling like this, like a victim. I want to be free of him. It's like he's got this hold on me and no matter how hard I try to get away from it, I keep running back. And worst of all, I still love him. I can't not love him. I'm trying not to, I am. I love him and I love Brody with all my heart. Does that make me a bad person?”

"Of course not! If you didn't love Adam there would be an issue. He is...was your husband and you loved him then. It's impossible to fall out of love with someone. Even if you feel like you have there will always be a part of you that belongs to them. It's okay to love Brody, too. There is nothing wrong with trying to move on.”

I let her words sink in. Maybe she's right, maybe there is nothing wrong with me having feelings for two men at the same time. But I can't help but feeling like there is, like the butterflies in my gut are going to explode at any given moment because of the stress I'm putting them under. It's like I'm on a rollercoaster with an unfastened seatbelt and we're about to increase our vertical velocity. I want to fasten my seatbelt and provide myself with safety (Brody) but I also want to scream as loud as I can and enjoy the life-threatening experience (Adam). That can't be normal.

"So. What's the next step in getting on track with the divorce?” she asks me after I don't say anything to her reassuring words.

"I need to call Adam,” I sign and lean back on the couch, resting my hands at my sides. “I need to call Adam and tell him that he needs to come back here to write up new papers, sign them, and divorce me.”

"That doesn't sound too bad.”

I look at Abby with a roll of my eyes. “You have no idea how bad this is going to be,” I say seriously. It will be bad. It will be horrible. At some point during his stay here, Adam is going to meet Brody, and if the look in his eyes was any indication on how things are going to go, I'm going to need to get the bail money ready now before it's too late.


"What do you want?” is how he answers the phone, like he as any reason to be upset with me.

"You need to come to Chicago.”

"Why? I signed the papers, we're divorced. Go on and get married to someone better than me.”

"We're not divorced, Adam. The papers were so old that they were voided. You need to come here so we can draw up new ones and sign them on the spot to prevent this from happening again.”

He's silent for a few seconds before speaking.

"I'll be on the next flight.”