Kaleidoscope Eyes

April 2nd, 2007.

McCarran airport, Las Vegas, Nevada.

I grabbed my luggage off the belt, struggling to carry all three bags. Brendon told me he'd meet me here, and, to my surprise, the little fucker wasn't here. So, I was stuck juggling all of this. He better have a great excuse.

I got a luggage cart and loaded my heavy bags onto the small cart. Maybe Brendon was just outside waiting for me? I hoped so.

When I got outside, I saw no sign of Brendon. At all. I was going to kill him. Like, as soon as I saw him, I was going to kill him.

I wasn't going to wait for him and look like a freaky fucking tourist. I was gonna get a cab and just show up at his house. The look on his face would sorta make up for the fact that he forgot me.

I pulled out a crumpled out piece of paper out of my hoodie pocket. This hoodie wasn't actually mine. It was Pete's. I couldn't bring myself to give it back to him. I loved it too much. And it reminded me of him.

Yes, I did break up with him. But I still loved him. I just needed my space from him. He had been smothering me lately. And I needed a break from the spotlight. With Fall Out Boy's quick rise, I was also on the rise. I didn't want to be on the rise. I wanted to be hidden. I didn't want my past catching up with me.

I quickly got a cab and loaded up my bags in the trunk. I then got into the small yellow and black car and shut the door. I rambled off the address to the tired looking driver.

The ride to Brendon's was silent. I stared out the window the entire time, watching Vegas roll by. He lived fairly close to the Vegas strip. It was kinda surprising.

The car stopped in front of a nice sized house. It looked only one level, but I'm pretty sure it had a basement. I mean, if it didn't, then holy shit, tiny house.

I got out of the car and walked to the back, opening the trunk. The cab driver just sat on his ass. What a jerk. I struggled once again to get all the heavy bags out of the trunk. When I got them all out, I walked to the drivers side and handed him the money. He got nothing extra. He didn't help.

He just grunted and drove off. Fucking prick.

I sighed and walked over to my bags. I picked up the one duffel bag I had for my makeup, hairspray and products and just everything I needed to make myself pretty, and slung that over my shoulder. I picked up the other duffel bag and set it on the biggest rolling bag I had.

I clumsily made my way to the door, just leaving the other rolling bag down at the end of the driveway. I set my makeup bag down and ran back to the end of the driveway. I rolled the bag back to the front door, seriously frustrated now.

I rang the doorbell three times. I was upset with Brendon. So fucking upset.

The door opened, revealing Ryan. His hair was elegantly disheveled, and his eyes looked tired. He looked like he either just had sex, or just woke up. I'm going with the latter.

"Rachel? What're you doin - are those bags yours?" He asked, his eyes landing on my four bags. "Where's Pete?"

"Yes, those are my bags. And...uh, you didn't hear? Brendon didn't tell you?" I furrowed my eyebrows together, also looking down at my bags.

"Tell me what?" He asked, sounding kinda like he was afraid of the answer I was gonna give.

"Pete and I broke up," I said softly, looking back up at him.

"You're a day late. April Fools was yesterday. Seriously, where's Pete?" Ryan grinned, looking around for Pete.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at him with sad eyes. His face fell. He immediately wrapped me up in his arms. "Shit, I'm so sorry. I had no idea," He whispered, petting my hair down. This was awkward.

"Ryan, uh, can we carry this on inside? It's hot out here," I laughed, awkwardly patting his back.

He chuckled and pulled away, grabbing my big rolling bag with the smaller duffel set on top of it. He brought it inside and I quickly followed him into the living room.

"Welcome to the Panic household," He smiled, heading to the kitchen. I followed after him like a lost puppy. "Uh, I don't mean to sound like a dick, but...why here?"

I giggled and shook my head, "You don't sound like a dick. I called Brendon the other night. He told me I could move out here with you guys. I wasn't going to move back to Chicago with my mom. She's got a new boyfriend and I don't want to, like...intrude."

"So, you're intruding here?" He smirked, taking a can of Arizona green tea out of the fridge. "Do you want one?"

"No, thanks. And, I'm not intruding. I was invited. By Brendon. Who doesn't seem to be here..." I said, glancing around the eerily quiet house.

"Yeah, he's not. He's out...oh, that explains why he had to run to Target..." He laughed, hitting himself in the forehead, in a moment of revelation. "Duh. C'mon, we're going to find Brendon."

"Wait, Ryan, I don - " I said, but it was too late. He already had a hold of my arm and was dragging me out of the house. I got into his small, silver Mercedes. "Seriously, Ryan? We're going to find him? What if he's on his way back and we're - "

"Would you stop? He left, like...thirty minutes ago. He's still there," He said, backing out. Once we were out of the driveway, he sped off down the street. "Plus, wouldn't you rather be out? I wouldn't want to be stuck in a shitty house all day."

"You were just in that shitty house..."

"I just woke up," He corrected, holding up a finger, but not bothering to look over at me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. This boy was ridiculous.

*

Ryan dragged me across the parking lot and into the large Target. Jesus Christ, we were really going to go through this store and look for Brendon.

"So, he was supposed to pick you up, but didn't?" Ryan asked as we walked around the large store, searching for Brendon.

"Yup, and I'm pissed at him," I replied, spotting a guy who looked strangely familiar down the aisle for home shit. Brendon. "Brendon, aisle...whatever this aisle is."

Ryan laughed and led me down the aisle to Brendon. I stood behind Ryan, looking at the cute as fuck pillows. I looked back up at Ryan. He tapped Brendon on the shoulder. Bren looked over and smiled at Ryan, "Hey, man, what're you doing here?"

Ryan stepped to the side, revealing little old me holding a black and white pillow. I smiled at Brendon, "Hello, Urie."

His face fell. His mouth hung open a bit as he stared at me.

"Are you going to say anything? I don't get a hello? A what are you doing here? A...I forgot to pick you up!?" I said, smacking him upside the head with the pillow.

"Shit, fuck, I'm so sorry, Rae!" He gasped. "I thought...wasn't your flight supposed to come in at one thirty?"

"Brendon, it's two fifteen."

"No, it's not," He breathed out, taking his phone out of his pocket. He turned it on, checking the time. He smacked his forehead, just like Ryan had done. "Fuck."

"It's fine, Bren. Actually, not it's not. I had to take a cab with a shitty driver who didn't help me load or unload my luggage to and from the car. Then, this one," I said, motioning to Ryan. "Asked why I showed up at his doorstep. God, it's like Chicago all over again."

Brendon and Ryan both laughed. I pouted, and smacked them both with the pillow, "It's not funny, you fucks!"

"Yes, it is, my dear," Bren smirked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I huffed and folded my arms across my chest, still holding on to the small black and white pillow, "You're getting this for me. It's the least you could do."

"Fine. I also got new sheets and blankets for your room," Brendon smiled, pointing to the cart.

I peered into the red cart, feeling a small smile grace my lips. He had picked out new, white sheets and a white comforter, both had black floral designs on them. He knew me too well.

"If you weren't in a band, you would totally be a designer," I giggled, walking with the two boys through the store. "But, seriously, Brendon, Ryan, thank you for taking me in. I appreciate it."

"You're like my little si - "

"Say sister and I'm kicking you in the balls," I muttered, staring straight ahead at a little black and white table lamp. I ran over and picked it up, setting it in the cart.

"Alright, can we go now?" Ryan asked, looking a little bored with us. Well, then.

"You can. You have a car, you know," Brendon smirked, shoving him slightly.

Ryan looked over at him, grinning a bit, "You're right. I'll see you guys later."

I watched as Ryan walked up the aisle, making a right towards the exit. Brendon and i walked in complete silence, just looking at everything that the store had to offer us. Pillows, blankets, comforters, lamps...

"I need a cigarette," I mumbled, looking at a bright pink comforter. How could someone sleep with that? It was burning my eyes out just looking at him for a few seconds. Imagine living with that. Ugh.

"Ugh, me too. I need more. Let's go pay for this shit, then go to the gas station down the street," Bren suggested, speeding up a bit. Boy needed his nicotine.

I smirked and ran ahead of him, then stopped, causing him to stop abruptly. Wordlessly, I jumped into the cart and pointed forward.

I heard him laugh before taking off and running through the store. It's like I hadn't just broken up with Pete. It's like I'd been here the entire time.

I fit in nicely with Brendon. Always have.