Harbored Feelings

Birds were skimming the vast water, their talons dangling in the water, just trying to catch a decent meal. The wind was shaking tree leaves and many of the leaves were fallen slowly to the ground. The water was carrying a salty air to the land. In the middle of it, all, sitting on a lone bench, sat Dean Winchester.

Dean was sitting on a wooden bench that looked aged. He had wandered there on his own. He had parked his Impala on the side of the street before walking in the woods. It was almost as if destiny had led him there. Stretching his legs out, Dean looked across the lake and smiled. It was truly beautiful. Always constantly on the road, he never had time to take a break and enjoy the little things. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled deeply for a moment before quickly exhaling. It was a calming experience.

A few quiet minutes went by before Dean got bored. Drumming his fingers along the metal handle, a thought came to him. “Castiel, Castiel,” he said loudly. “I’m all alone and I could use a little company.”

Fluttering angel wings were soon heard. “You called?” Cas asked in his monotone voice.

Dean turned around to meet the angel. He was slightly surprised that the angel had come so soon, but pleased nonetheless. “Of course. I’m glad you came.”

“I could sense that you really wanted me here.”

The hunter simply nodded his head while gesturing toward the bench. The angel caught on and sat on the right side of the bench while Dean took the left. Dean turned his head to face the other man and was met with his startling blue eyes. “Woah, Cas. I told you about that staring problem.”

Castiel simply nodded his head but did not remove his gaze. “Is there something wrong Dean? You seem… troubled.”

Dean shrugged his shoulders. “Just thought I could spend a moment or two with my angel buddy.”

“Where’s Sam?”

“He’s back home with Bobby. I just wanted sometime to myself, so that’s why I’m here.” Dean raised his arms all around him, but then stopped when he suddenly felt rather foolish.

“If you wanted to be here alone, then why did you call me?”

Dean bit his bottom lip before smiling at the naïve angel. “You just don’t get it Cas.”

Castiel frowned and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Get what?”

Dean didn’t say anything. When he was younger, he was never good at sharing his feelings with anyone. Not Sam. Not his dad. And as he grew up, that never changed. Sitting on the bench just reminded him of that. Even as he looked at Castiel, he knew that one day the he would admit his feelings, but he knew it wasn’t now.

“You’re in deep thought,” Castiel said. His cerulean eyes had never left Dean’s face for not even a moment. He could sense that something was troubling Dean; he had never been able to read his mind. For some odd reason, Dean always had an affect on Castiel. The angel never was able to comprehend the feelings he harbored for the hunter, so kept them to himself. He honestly didn’t even know how he felt, except that Dean was the most important person to him. “Is something wrong?” He asked again.

Dean’s green eyes were clouded with confusion as he looked across the water. His hands were moving erratically in his lap and his legs were shaking. He felt like at any moment he was going to lose control. Why couldn’t he just tell Cas how he felt? What was he going to say? I love you? No, that was too much and too early. Plus Castiel was still learning how to adapt with humans and their emotion. He had only been with them for a year, but he still had a long way to go. “Everything’s fine, Cas.”

“You’re lying.”

“Am not.”

“Sam told me that when you wring your hands like that, it means you’re lying,” Castiel stated matter-of-factly.

“And when did Sam tell you that?” Dean asked while silently cursing his brother.

“When you were out fixing your car one night. Right before you left, Sam asked if you had used his laptop without permission. When you answered, your hands were moving fervently and as soon as you left, Sam said you had been lying and then explained to me why. I’m surprised that I didn’t notice it.”

“Well I’m glad you didn’t notice it,” Dean said before the words could register in his head. But as soon as he had said them aloud, he wanted to smack himself.

Castiel tilted his head and a look of deep consternation registered on his face. “Do I trouble you Dean?”

The angel’s question startled Dean. Was Dean really being that obvious with his feelings? Of course not. “What makes you think that Cas?”

“I feel like you don’t want me here much longer.”

Dean sighed. He was getting tired. “It’s not that Cas."

“Is it because I said I didn’t like AC/DC?”

Dean laughed out loud. He laughed even harder when he saw that Castiel was dead serious when he asked that question. Dean wiped a tear from his eye and slapped his knee. “You know you’re something else, right?”

“I’m an angel.”

Deciding not to make a witty remark, Dean stood up and stretched his limbs. Hearing the familiar popping, he turned around and saw that Castiel was still sitting on the bench. “Are you coming with me?”

“Where?”

“Back to the car.”

“Oh.”

“Oh what?”

“Nothing,” Castiel muttered. As he stood up, he felt a strong urge to grab Dean‘s hand, but he resisted. He felt his own face flush.

“Are you hot or something?” Dean asked while eying Castiel. The angel’s face was turning scarlet more and more by the second. “Maybe you should take that ratty trench coat off.”

“I’m fine.”

Dean refrained from saying anything. He began walking and heard the angel trailing behind him. There was a tense air around the two men as they made their way back to the car. As soon as they got there, Dean let out a sigh of relief. He climbed in the driver’s seat while Castiel eased himself into the passenger’s seat. As soon as Dean turned on the car, ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ blasted through the car. He quickly switched the station as he began driving.

“Why did you turn the song off?” Castiel asked.

“I know that you don’t like AC/DC.”

“Well, I must admit that I’m rather fond of that song that was just playing.”

Dean looked at the angel and grinned. He quickly found the station and soon the sound of Angus Young playing the guitar filled the Impala. In the passenger’s seat, Castiel was silently nodding his head to the beat. This small gesture made Dean’s stomach do a belly flop.

As the car made its way down the road, Dean thought to himself. Just maybe, one day, he would tell Castiel the feelings he had toward him. But until then, just as long as the angel was with him, everything would be fine.