The Quiet

His name was Ethan and he was beautiful. We met when both of us were in our mid-twenties, while we were at a coffee shop. He was taking my order. Cliché, I know, but that’s how it happened.

Talking about this wonderful romance turned nightmare is something I haven’t done in such a long time. Not since Alec found me that night, huddled in the corner of the small apartment Ethan and I shared.

Everything was unraveling fast, and in each of these teenagers eyes, I could see the pain they felt for me. They pitied me now. Hours ago, they were ready to fight me, to kill me for what I had done to them.

I’m not the person they think I am. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m still a monster. I’m just a different kind now.

“If you loved him,” Cari whispered, “how could you have done something like that?”

“It was an accident,” I choke out. I felt like that was the one phrase I had been repeating over and over to myself since it happened.

It was an accident, it was an accident.

I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. I needed to tell them everything. I needed them to know I didn’t mean it, in case I didn’t live through the rest of this horrible night.

I wouldn’t when Alec found out.

Words exploded in my head, suddenly, and I gripped onto the fact that one was very true. It would occur soon, that I was sure of. I don’t think I minded anymore, because it was what I deserved.

Murderer.

Betrayer.

Die.

All were or are true. I was everything my mind told me. I had killed someone. I had betrayed someone. For that I would die.

It was inevitable.

I cleared my throat when I felt tears start behind my eyes. I looked at Clay and Cari, both of which were staring at each other, and something tugged at my heart.

“I need you to do something,” I said, looking at all three of them.

“What is it?” Clay asked.

I hesitated.

“I need you to stop Alec after he kills me.”