Just Like You...

SHEA POV

"You filthy whore! Go off and get pregnant! See if I care! Go leave, go to your god damn father and see if I fucking care!" The bitch screamed at me. I ran away, hearing something glass shatter on the door behind me as I closed it. I ran out to the familiar car, hopping in the passenger side. We sped down the road until we pulled over three blocks down. I turned to look at my savior and collapsed in his arms, leaning over the armrest in between us, sobs shaking my body.

"I don't want you." His lips whispered in my ear.

I choked on my tears and shoved him away, running out of the door and through the open desert near the slums of my house. I tripped over my own feet, blinded by tears, before falling in the dust.

Someone reached their hands down and picked me up, cradling me against their chest. They set me down on a counter and I heard their sink running. My jacket was taken off and there was a noise of disgust.

"Fucking heroine addict. You shoot up every night? You do it to feel? You disgust me." And I was pushed off the counter harshly. I cried harder, taking the jacket that was thrown at me and pulling it on, hiding my arms in its warm, comfortable sleeves. I heard someone walking into the room and stopping in front of me. Whoever it was crouched down. They took my hands and I tried to pull away, retreat further into the corner I was curled in. They made a calming sound and pushed the sleeves up my arms.

Tremors from my panic attack were making me shake violently. I couldn't see for the blinding tears and the pounding pain in my head forcing my vision white. But I could see his eyes, his soft, brown eyes when he looked up at me while kissing my scars.

"Don't leave." I tried to choke out.

"Never."

"Wake up, love," Someone called. "Please, wake up, you're okay."

I opened my eyes to stare into the same, desperate, soft, brown eyes as in my dream.

"You're okay." It sounded like a promise.

"Promise?" I whisper.

He didn't hesitate. For the first time ever, he didn't even pause.

"Promise." He nodded, "Do you want to go back to sleep? It's only three."

I listened to the snoring of the other band members on the bus, trying to calm my tremors.

"Come here." Jacky pulled me out of the bunk and into his arms. Then he proceeded to walk me out to the couch in the front part of the bus. He laid down on it and pulled me onto him. "Here." He handed me an iPod after a bit of shuffling in his pockets. "Music helps me calm down from a bad dream."

I let him place one of the earbuds in one of my ears before I put the other in one of his. I picked the most click thing I could possibly do with a member of the band right there with me. I hit Sink or Swim and looked at him. He gave me a small smile and kissed my cheek.

"Get some sleep."

And I finally felt peaceful enough to do so again. I fell asleep to my brother's angry desperation and Jacky pretending my arm was the neck of his guitar, lightly pressing strings that weren't there and gliding along the frets my scars left present.

JACKY POV

She's so…broken.

She doesn't know, I heard every word she whispered through that nightmare. She sobbed about how no one ever loved her, how no one ever stayed. About how everyone she thought cared left or sought to make her into something she wasn't because she's never good enough.

And I'm scared…

Because I think I might love her…

I don't know what love feels like…I mean I've got a loving family. I love my bandmates like they're my brothers. I've "loved" girlfriends when I was in high school or even college…

But like…none of those relationships in high school or college were real…so why is this one any different exactly?

I don't know…

I just don't know what to do.

She's so much like her brother, just desperate to find herself and she accepts all her wrongs.

But also like Ronnie, she's pushing herself too far to be better and she can't accept the fact she's not over the betrayal she feels everyone's given her. She won't admit she's not over her mother not wanting her. She still wants Jared to love her. She just can't figure out why she's like that…

And I feel bad…

But I can't fix it…

But…I can make her want to trust people again…we can take baby steps, we all did this with Ronnie, he was just not as broken when we got him.

I just hope I'm not going to make her worse…

Finally, at around three-thirty, I drifted off to sleep.