Everybody Has a Secret

I kissed Zack. Yes, on the lips. He started to kiss me back but he immediately pulled away.

“Wha-what are you doing? You’re drunk and Alex is your husband. I – no,” he said, shaking his head.

I immediately realized what I had just done. I’m not drunk anymore and I don’t think Zack is either. “I’m so sorry. Oh, my god. I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, I obviously wasn’t thinking. Zack, I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean to…”

“I feel really bad. I didn’t mean it like I’m leading you on type of thing. I love Alex. Very much. He is my husband. I was being a drunk idiot. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, but you are going to have to tell him about this.”

“I know I should but it’s going to piss him off and I feel like he’s going to hurt you when it was my fault.”

“El.” He made me look at him. “I’ll take that punch or whatever he’ll do to me. But you need to tell him the truth. I’m not going to be the one to tell him. I guess now here is your excuse to talk to him.”

I sighed. “I’m honestly terrified.”

“You were mad at him. I guess now it’s his turn.” He chuckled.

“Hey! This is not funny.” I pouted.

“Sorry. I’m just trying to lighten the mood a little bit. But hey.”

“What?”

“Thanks for the kiss. It was nice. Maybe I can finally move on from my crush on you.” He chuckled.

I smiled. “Well, you’re not a bad kisser.”

He smirked. “Now you see how I get all the ladies.” He winked.

I laughed. “Zack, you’re literally single most of the time."

“Wow, way to crush my ego there, Ellie.”

I laughed again. “Sorry.”

He chuckled. “It’s okay. I just usually decide to be single you know?”

“I understand. Relationships suck.”

He laughed. “Yeah, they kinda do.”

“Are you going to talk to Kayla by the way?”

“I don’t know. I guess I should. You talk to Alex and I’ll talk to Kayla. I mean I’ll have to tell her this happened too. And she’ll probably break up with me for real.”

“I’m sorry…” I gave him a sympathetic look.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I love Kayla. I wanted to marry her...”

“Wanted?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. I’m not sure if I want to be in a relationship with her anymore. I’ll have to talk to her.”

“For sure. I guess we should go to bed huh?”

“Guess so. Seems like we have people to talk to tomorrow.”

We both got up to go to our rooms.

“Night,” I heard him say.

“Night,” I said and closed my door.

I changed into some PJ’s, brushed my teeth, and got in bed. I passed out quickly because of the alcohol.



I woke up early in the morning. It was probably around 8am. I was feeling very sick. I guess I have a hangover. Haven’t had one of those in a while.

I got up and I immediately had to run to the bathroom because I had to throw up.

I flushed the toilet once I finished and I rinsed my mouth out with water. I never knew what my actual limit was in drinking because I’m the one that goes drink after drink. I never count how many I’ve had either.

I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and then I went back to bed.

I woke up again and it was around noon this time. Zack was awake because I could smell food but the smell was making me feel nauseous.

I sat up a little bit and drank some of the water I had gotten earlier. I started to feel sick again. No, don’t throw up, I said to myself. Too late. I ran into the bathroom to vomit again and I just threw up the water I had drank.

There was a knock on the door. “Ellie, are you okay?”

“No,” I groaned.

“Can I come in?”

“Mhm.”

He opened the door. “Do you have a hangover?”

“I think so. A really terrible one. I wanna die.”

“Come on, I’ll take you back to bed.” He picked me up from the floor, trying not to move me too much in case of me getting sick. He lied me down on the bed and put a trash bin next to my bed. “In case you can’t make it to the bathroom in time.”

“Thank you, Zack…”

“No problem. Did you want me to get you anything else?”

“No, I think I’m just gonna sleep.”

“Okay. Just yell or something and I’ll come to you if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” He kissed the top of my head and pulled the covers on me. “I love you, Zack. Like I said, you’re a good friend. My best friend.”

He smiled. “And you’re my best friend. Now get some sleep. Feel better.”

I nodded and I drifted off to sleep again.



I spent the whole day sleeping. Zack got me some crackers and some ginger ale. But even the tiniest bit made me feel sick. I don’t know how many times I’ve thrown up.

“Hey, I have to go to band practice. You going to be okay?” He asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Thank you for everything.” I was just lying down on the couch watching TV.

“Okay.” He put a blanket over me and kissed my head. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

“’Kay, be careful!”

“I will be!” He closed the door behind him.

I sighed. I guess I’ll be bored now. Zack was keeping me company. Well, if they have band practice I can call V to tell her to come over.

I picked up my phone and called her.

“Hello?” she replied.

“Hey, what are you up to?”

“Just home. You wanna come over? Jack said they had band practice.”

“I would love to come over but I am too sick to drive.”

“Aw, what happened?”

“I think I drank too much.”

She laughed. “Way to go. Alright I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, drive safe. Are you bringing J.J.?”

“No, he’s at Jack’s mom’s house.”

“Oh okay. I’ll see you in a bit then.”

“Alrighty, bye.”

I hung up the phone and I decided to eat some crackers again. Just tiny pieces and I was okay for the most part. I drank a little ginger ale but after eating some more crackers I started feeling nauseous again so I stopped.

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later. I wrapped myself in my blanket and got up to open the door.

“Hey,” I said.

“Wow, you look like shit,” said Vanessa.

“Thanks, Nessa…”

“Sorry.”

She came inside and closed the door behind her and she sat down on the couch next to me.

“Are you sure it’s just a hangover?” she asked

“I mean, what else…” I trailed off.

“What?” Vanessa asked.

“What day is it?”

“Friday?”

“No, I mean like the date.”

“Oh, uh…” She looked on her phone. “April 12th.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah? What is wrong with you? You never look at your phone to look at the date?”

“I haven’t been keeping tabs on anything since I left Alex.”

“Okay, but why are you…” She trailed off. “Are you asking because you think you’re pregnant?”

I laughed nervously. “What?! No!” She stared at me knowing it was a bold face lie. “I don’t know. Maybe. My period was supposed to come 3 days ago. I don’t know how I haven’t noticed.”

“Maybe you’re just stressed about the whole Alex thing. It’s a normal thing that can happen with periods.”

“Do you think I should go get a test though?”

“That might be a good idea. It might put you at ease to know if you’re not.”

“Okay… Will you take me?”

“Of course.”

“Wait, I need to tell you something else before we go.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“Please, do not hit me or anything.”

“Oh, god, what did you do?”

“Um, well, I was drunk and I kissed Zack on accident?”

“What?! How is that an accident?!”

“I was drunk, okay! It was a mistake! We both were drunk but we realized what we did and know we fucked up.”

“El, why are you always in drama?”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot.”

She shook her head. “Are you going to tell Alex?”

“Of course I am. He’s probably going to hate me… It’s okay though because I’m a giant asshole and he probably should leave me because of it.”

“Eliana, don’t say that. The boy loves you. If you can forgive him, so can he. Do you forgive him?”

“Yes… I’m an idiot for being mad at him for so long for something that happened forever ago.”

“When are you going to talk to him?”

“I don’t know but I kinda want to find out if I’m pregnant first. I know condoms aren’t 100% but I wish they were at this moment.”

“Come on, I’ll drive you to the store.”

I changed into just jeans and a shirt and I put some shoes on and went to the car with Vanessa.

“Are you going to be happy if you are pregnant?” she asked as we were on the way to the store.

“I don’t know… I’d be terrified. For so long I have never once wanted a baby.”

“You don’t even want a baby with Alex?”

“I don’t know! Stop asking me questions until we know for sure.”

“Alright! Jeez.”

After a few minutes, we got to the store and Vanessa parked the car. We got out and entered the store and I headed to the aisle with the pregnancy tests.

“Which one do I get?” I asked her.

She picked one up. “This is the one I used to find out that I was pregnant. Second I found out I told you.”

“Okay, I’ll just get this one.” I grabbed it from her and went to the cashier. How awkward. I don’t know why, but it just is to me.

She rang it up and told me the total. I handed her the money and after she gave me back my change she put it in a bag for me.

“Thank you,” I said as she handed me the bag.

“Good luck,” she just said.

We drove back home and went inside the apartment.

“Is it going to be accurate? It’s been only 3 days since I missed my period.”

“I mean, they’re pretty accurate. But a doctor’s appointment is the way to go if you want to confirm it.”

“Alright. I’m gonna go take it.”

I went to the bathroom and read the instructions on the box. Why am I reading it? All you have to do is pee on the damn thing.

After I finished, it said to wait five minutes so I put a timer on my phone. I didn’t want to go out yet until it showed the results. Five minutes felt like an eternity and the alarm went off. I just looked at it and sighed. I went to the living room. Vanessa was watching TV but she heard me and turned around.

“Well?” she asked.