Everybody Has a Secret

Alex’s eyes widened and then they changed to sorrow. His deep pool of chocolate brown eyes that glistened with joy now seemed dull and in pain. Tears were beginning to collect in his eyes. His mouth was in a tight lipped frown. My body was in complete shock. I didn’t know how to react. I know my eyes were wide. I know tears were in my eyes because my vision became a watery blur. My knees seem to have buckled and Alex grabbed me, helping me to stay up. Getting my hopes up was a terrible decision. My body knew I shouldn’t have and the worst did come true. “I’m really sorry,” was all we heard. I didn't think it'd happen, but it did.

“Here,” Vanessa said, handing me a plate of food.

“I’m not hungry,” I said.

“Just eat a little something,” Alex said. “I didn’t want to either but we have to keep our strength up.”

Eric didn’t know fully understand what was going on, but he could feel the aura in the atmosphere. He knew something was wrong. I think that was the second hardest thing we had to do, telling him how he lost his sister. Holding a funeral was just as hard. Didn’t think I’d have to do one so early in my life, especially for my own baby. Honestly, I just wanted the night to end. I wanted to be in my PJs in my bed.

After a couple hours later, people started to leave. Our parents and friends being the last ones to leave. My wish of finally being alone was coming true.

I didn’t say anything to Alex but just went right upstairs and took a hot long shower. I put on some PJs afterwards, and Alex was in his boxers already, watching TV.

I still didn’t say anything and I went downstairs. I went to our alcohol cabinet, grabbed a shot glass, and a bottle of rum. I took 3 shots in a row and did another one just for luck. I could the warmth in my chest and I could feel myself starting to get tipsy, but I decided to make myself a pineapple and rum drink and went upstairs.

I sat down next to Alex and he half smiled at me. I half smiled back at him. God, I love that cute, beautiful face. I grabbed his face and kissed him.

He backed away from me a bit and smacked his lips a little. “You taste like alcohol,” he stated.

“Sorry,” I said, showing off my drink. “I wanted to take the edge off.”

“That’s okay.”

“I’m starting to feel pretty drunk. I had like 4 shots.”

“Dear lord, honey. You haven’t drank that much in forever.”

“I feel good so whatever.”

I finished my drink off and then got on top of Alex. He was sitting up on the bed, so I was sitting on his lap, my legs straddling his waist. He put his hands on my hips and I smiled at him. I went in for a kiss but I made my lips just really close to his, teasing him. He chuckled but then surprised kissed me. I giggled into the kiss, but then turned my head more to deepen the kiss. His tongue was massaging against mine, and he rolled over so that he could be on top of me.


I woke up very groggy and naked. The memory of last night was coming back and I couldn’t help but smile. It was a good night.

Alex was still asleep next to me. He was sleeping on his stomach, his head facing towards me. He looked very cute so I smiled and gave him a kiss on the head. Surprisingly, I only had a minor headache. Then again I didn’t even have a full night of drinking. I could’ve felt so much worse. Honestly, I didn’t really want to be sober. I could feel my depression creeping back.

I changed into my clothes. I decided to wear something cute to make myself feel good. As I walked out, I noticed Alex was awake and he was already putting on some pants.

“Hey, babe,” I said.

“Hey, love,” he said. “Last night was nice.”

I blushed. “Shut up.”

He chuckled and smirked at me. He got up and made his way towards me and he grabbed me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him and he kissed me back.

“You’re not being yourself this morning,” he said.

“I figured I have to do something to make myself feel better. So, I’m trying. I made myself feel cute and good about myself. I had something with you last night.” I poked his cheek and he smiled, making the cheek I poked more prominent. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He let go of me to go put a shirt on and I got a little upset.

“Maybe we should just stay in bed all day and cuddle,” I said.

He chuckled. “I’d love to, but you know I have to do a few band meetings. Plus, we have to reschedule the canceled tour dates.”

“Okay, babe. Well, I'll see you later then.”

He smiled at her and went on his way. I really wanted to be alone then so I figured I'd just drop Eric off at my parents.

After dropping him off, I ended up driving myself to a liquor store. I didn't really know where I was going, but my body just ended up here. Like I said, I didn't want to be sober.

I walked in and went towards the vodka. I would always get the one with the highest amount of alcohol percentage. It's easier to get drunk that way. I also grabbed a bottle of gin and some club soda.

After buying my stuff, I went straight home. I got a bucket of ice and went into my room and sat outside in the balcony. I put on music through my bluetooth speaker, the music speaking my mood.

I couldn't help myself but immediately started taking shot after shot until I got to my 4th one. I made myself a drink and I could feel myself starting to loosen up. Talking Body by Tove Lo came on. I got up and started dancing.

(Alex’s POV)
I came home around 8ish and I could hear loud music coming from my room. I looked around everywhere and I didn't see Eric so I only assumed he was at one of our parent’s house.

I went into the room and onto the balcony where the music was coming from. Eliana was just sitting there, out of it, but singing along to the music nonetheless. I knew she was wasted and I hadn’t seen her like that since high school.

“Hey, love,” I said. “What are you doing? It's only eight and you're really drunk.”

“Oh, my love!” she giggled at me. “I missed you!” She got up and ran to me and gave me a kiss. I could taste the alcohol and my nose scrunches in disgust. It couldn’t be helped. It was not a pleasant taste.

“Hey, I’m gonna make you some coffee, okay?” I tell her.

“No, have sex with me.” She grabbed me by my collar and pulled me into a kiss, shoving her tongue down my throat. I had to push her away. The alcohol taste was worse with her tongue down my throat. I almost didn’t know what to do.

“Oh, honey, no. Not now.” I sat her down in her chair that she had on the balcony. “I’ll be back.”

I went downstairs to make her a quick cup of coffee. I added some sugar and some cream before returning to her. She was on the balcony dancing like crazy again. I had to set down the mug on the table and calm her down enough to make her sit and hand her the coffee. She started to calm down after a while. I held her in my arms in the chair and talked to her.

“I love you,” she said. “Thanks for being here. You’re truly the best.”

I smiled back at her. “I have to treat you like a queen. You’re amazing and you deserve it.”

“You’re so sweet.” She kissed me and I kissed her back. The taste of alcohol finally was gone.
“Now we can have sex.”

She laughed but I picked her up and took her to the bedroom.

(Eliana’s POV)
I started to party a lot. Everyone was saying they’re worried about me, but I don’t think I was getting out of hand. I know they’re worried about me. I was fine though. I drank in moderation, enough to get drunk. Although, I would wake up with hangovers now and then.

“Come on, let’s go home,” Alex said to me, grabbing my wrist.

“No!” I said to him. “I want to have fun and I will!” I wriggled my way out of grasp and went back to the dance floor. I started dancing and a guy came up to me and started dancing with me. He was kind of cute so I wasn’t complaining. I could see the jealousy in Alex’s eyes. Seconds later you could just see the defeat in his eyes.

“Hey, get away from my wife,” he said to the guy and pushed him away. The guy put his hands up in defense and walked away. “I know you’re depressed, honey, but this isn’t the way to go.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and we both started dancing to the music.

“I just wanna have fun. Is that so much? I basically missed my party days so I just want to have them now before we actually try and start having a real family again,” I said.

He sighed. “We are a real family.”

I could feel the tears in my eyes. “You know what I mean.” I glared at him.

“I’m sorry…” He looked down.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole,” I said and gave him a kiss.

After a while, we ended up going home and got ready for bed. I was tired and drunk. The room was spinning a little when I was laying down, closing my eyes. I had to get up and drink some water, and wait until the dizziness went away and was finally able to sleep.

I woke up in the morning nauseous. Great, I had a hangover. I had to get up to throw up a few times. It was just bile after a couple times. It was awful. I rinsed out my mouth and went to get something to drink. I wanted to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth.

I looked at the clock and saw that it was 8 in the morning. I groaned and wanted to go back to sleep. I crawled back into bed with Alex and curled up next to him. He rolled over to his side and wrapped his arm around me. I scooted closer to him and was able to go to sleep.

The nausea woke me up again. This time I was in the bed alone. I was sad, but I knew that Alex left me alone to sleep.

I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I saw Alex sitting on the bed as soon as I got out of the bathroom.

“I heard you so I came to check up on you. Are you okay?” he asked me.

“Ugh, I feel terrible. I think I’m hungover.” I grabbed my head because I could feel it pulsating.

“I brought you some Gatorade and some medicine for your headache.”

“Thank you so much.”

“I also brought you some crackers. Try to eat some before taking the medicine.”

“I’ll try.” I grabbed a cracker and started nibbling at it. I could feel my stomach not settling it well. I had to get up and throw up the little bit of cracker I just had. I took sips of the Gatorade and I even threw that up. I wasn’t able to keep anything down. I decided to just sleep through the day while Alex took care of me here and there. He was trying his best but I really couldn’t keep anything down. I was like that the whole day. I just wanted to feel better.