Compulsive

"I don't want you to be scared of me, Lacey." Aidan said in the parking lot of Sonic.

"I'm not," I said, trying my hardest to eat the ice cream without wincing.

"You're lying." I shook my head, but there was the smallest part of me that was angry at him and scared of him. "I'm sorry, Lacey. How can I make you trust me again?"

"I do trust you." I said. It was true... I was just wary of him. I pulled out a hair.

"Okay. Just... you can tell me anything. Okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"Will you finish this for me? It hurts too bad to eat." I handed him my styrofoam cup of cookie dough ice cream.

"You only had like two bites," He laughed.

"It hurts! I can't help it." My stomach grumbled as I said that.

"When do you get your stitches out?"

"Umm, three days? I think." I said uncertainly, trying to recall what the doctor had said.

"I never asked you, why don't you like movies?" he asked. I sighed.

"They stress me out... As soon as things start to go wrong, I stress out like they're my problems. And even when things are resolved and happy in the end, I'm still stressed."

"Even Disney movies?" He asked. I nodded.

"When Sleeping Beauty starts out, I mmediately worry about the pin prick she'll get when she's sixteen or whatever. And I worry for the prince, because of the witch. I just worry." I shrugged, like 'no big deal'. But it was annoying that I could even watch movies without my OCD coming out and ruining everything.

"It's okay. I don't really like movies either." he said, squeezing my hand.

I went home later, chatted with my parents.

"Sweetheart," my mother said, "Have you been pulling your hair again?"

"Yes," I answered, blushing.

"Your hands are getting worse as well." She said. I nodded, looking at my lap so I wouldn't have to look at her.

"We love you," my dad said.

"I love you too." I barely murmured.

"You need to stop this." Mom said quietly.

"Stop what?"

"These... games. These cries for attention. You're a big girl now." my jaw dropped.

"Games?!" I shrieked, pulling out yet another hair. "You think these are games?! Cries for attention?!" Mom nodded. "You know it's not my fault. You know I can't help any of this." I wasn't crying. My father was. He was watching me painfully as I screamed my voice raw.

"Sweetheart, we just want this to stop."

"So do I!! How do you think I'm feeling? I bleed every time I wash my hands, they're so dry. My head hurts from being stressed out all the time. I have a fucking bald spot on my head that's impossible to hide. How do you think I'm feeling, Mom?"

"Don't blow this out of proportion, Lacey." My mother said calmly. "Go take a nap. Calm yourself down. We'll talk about this later."

///Aidan///

"Aidan?" Lacey said when I answered my phone. She sounded upset.

"What is it?"

"My mom thinks my OCD is a cry for attention." I heard a sniffle.

"We both know that's not true. Why are you crying? She's insane."

"I don't know... Can you come pick me up?" she asked.

"I'll be there in ten minutes." I grabbed my keys and hopped in the car. Her mom, of all people should understand.
I pulled into her driveway, and she came running out in my sweatshirt and jeans. Running, literally, like she couldn't wait to get out of the house. Lacey swung open my car door and sat down with a huff.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded slowly, not speaking. She turned up the radio and looked out the window as I backed out of her driveway. "Where do you want to go?" She shrugged, still looking out the window. I reached over and squeezed her hand. Her other hand was tangled in her hair, fiddling around. I knew she was pulling it.

We just sat in my car in the parking lot of Walmart. She scooched over to the center seat, leaning up against my chest. I held her and stroked her hair. We didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say, words wouldn't come out. A few hourse later, I took her home. It was dark. It had been late when I picked her up, but now it was past midnight. I made sure she got in the door. I waved, and backed out.

///Lacey///

I walked in the door, closing it quietly behind me. Tiptoeing into the kitchen, I carefully flicked on the light.

"What were you doing out so late?" I jumped and screamed, seeing my mother sitting at the counter. My scream echoed as I dropped my phone and keys on the floor.

"I-- I was hanging out with Aidan." I said, hiding my face behind my hair.

"'Hanging out'?" My mother air quoted. I nodded, peeking up at her. "And what does hanging out mean?"

"What do you think it means? We just talked and sat around."

"Until midnight?" She questioned skeptically.

"Yes." Mom laughed.

"Don't even try that, Lacey. I know what you were doing. Slut. You're going to end up pregnant, I know it. And after he finds out you're pregnant, he's gonna leave you. Hell, he'll leave you whether that happens or not."

"Mom! I've never had sex before! Why can't you trust me?" I yelled.

"Because you never tell me anything."

"Well maybe I never tell you stuff because THIS is how you react!!" Screaming, I drew in a hitching breath.

"You're grounded. You're not allowed to see that boy again."

"Fuck you." I said quietly, going calmly up to my room. I grabbed a duffel bag and shoved a pair of jeans and a few T-shirts in. I quickly gathered up my toothbrush and other essential things before going downstairs and out the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" My mother yelled.

"I'm not sure. Someplace where people trust me." I slammed the door and got in my car. I drove slowly down the street, and stopped on the side of the road a few miles down. Dialing Aidan's number, I waited for him to pick up. One ring... two... three... four...

"Hello?" He asked. I sighed.

"Um, I left the house."

"Why? To go where?" he asked, obviously confused.

"I just needed to be someplace different."