Status: complete.

This Broken Place.

All we have is what's left today

Jane has been in a coma for ten months now. I feel like I’m going crazy. The doctor suggest taking her off life support. The Dylan’s told me the decision was up to me, because I’m her fiancé. They told me that Jane told them that I was her everything.
So I now have Jane’s life in my hands, and I refuse to let go. I just go her back less then a year ago. She can’t leave me.
Everyday I live with an enormous amount of guilt. I feel if Jane was with Lucas this never would have happened. I feel horrible for the fact I refused to let her hang up the phone after she pretty much begged me to let her. There’s more guilt for the fact we fought the last two times we talked on the phone. I also didn’t tell her I loved her the last two times we talked on the phone.
So here I am now spending everyday sitting by Jane’s bedside everyday while she stays in a coma.
I can’t even count how many times I have begged her to wake up. Or how many times I have cried sitting by her.

The hospital visiting hours were over so it was time for me to go back home. When I'm home I don't do much but lay around. I knew the guys and my family are worried about.
I was stilling going to band practice. The boys were understanding and had band practice after eight when hospital visiting hours ended.
At practice I was pretty much a zombie there. I walked through life like a zombie now. I felt almost dead inside. I was being eating alive by guilt. I don’t remember the last time I smile, or even felt close to happy.
When I got home I went striaght to the bathroom. I undressed and got into the shower. I stood there letting the water hit me. I was trying my best not to think about Jane for the short amount of time I was in the shower for.
I was pretty much impossible not to think about Jane anymore. I hated the fact that there was time when she was alone. What if she woke up and I wasn’t there. She would think that I left her. That I didn’t love her enough to stay with her.
When I got out of the shower I got dressed and walked down the hall to the kitchen. I needed to eat, I hadn’t ate all day.
I was in the middle of cooking myself dinner when the doorbell rang. I had no clue who I could possibility be. I walked to the front door and was shocked when I saw Jared standing on the other side.
“Jared what are you doing here?” I asked walking back toward the kitchen.
“Checking on you, and I’m doing good. I’m glad you asked.” Jared said following Kennedy into the Kitchen.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just out of it theses days.” Kennedy said running his fingers through his hair.
“Yeah I know Kennedy. You have us all really worried. You’re not yourself anymore.” Jared said leaning against the counter.
I didn’t understand how people thought I could be myself anymore. The one person who I was head over heels in love with was in a coma.
“I’m…. sorry I’m not myself anymore?”
“You have to understand why all of us are worried about you.” Jared said to me.
“Yeah I mean I guess.”
“Kennedy I’m not saying in any way that you need to move on, but you don’t have to spend all your time at the hospital.” I could not believe Jared just said this to me.
I was sick of nobody understanding how I felt. Or understanding why I was keeping Jane on life support. I couldn’t pull the plug on her because I knew Jane was strong and would pull out of this. She wasn’t the type of girl that gave up on anything.
“I can’t leave her.”
“I’m not asking you to. You know we’re recording are album next week in Phoenix, right?”
“Yeah I know, and Drew and Lily said they would be at the hospital because I can’t be there.”
“Okay good.” Jared said giving me a slight smile.
♠ ♠ ♠
Chapter Titles are all going to be The Maine lyrics unless other wise stated. The one is Saving Grace.
Let me just say this story is really hard to write, and right now i have writers block. writing about depressed Kennedy is really depressing. So I need comments on what you're thinking. I need some inspiration to help me.
On a positive note, I need to give it up to stephaniefaith helping me with the whole idea of this story. She is pretty awesome if you ask me.
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