Block it out.

Jack however was having another beat down, so bad now that his father was holding a baseball bat and beating him repeatedly in the stomach, he had been sick a bit and there was blood on the floor.

"Arrogant boy..." the father yelled giving him a hard blow to the head then another.

Then it was all black for Jack, he had never expected his father to go that far to be using a bat on his head, but he had and had been drunk.

Now both boys were fighting for their lives, one nearly dying on purpose the other nearly loosing his life to his fathers drunk awful habits. But Alex had actually wanted to go.

Jack had not. He wasn't gone yet as he wS being wheeled Ito the hospital, blood all over the White pillow his head was sat on. Blood was dried at his temple and it soaked through his dark hair in a sickening way.

"I'm Jack Barakat's mum... Can I see him?" said a woman standing by the office, she held a tissue and dabbed her eyes from the tears brewing.

"Room 456 A&E," said the man behind the desk boredly as he continued typing on his computer "Thank you," the mum sniffles hurrying to A&E.

Alex was having his stomach pumped of the pills he had taken, they had damaged his blood a little and made his vision blurry but be had not died and the suicide attempt did not work. He was going to be okay.

"Get him on life support. I want blood tests now, get his head wrapped and we need him put in the..." the rushed voices rang through as Jack was wheeled into the same room as Alex.

"Do the blood tests, he's loosing blood faster than he's gaining it, we need a match! Get Mrs Lain to come and wrap his head then we need him in for a brain scan in case of rain damage," ordered a doctor with a bald head and clip board.

Alex was laying there, starting to wake up slowly. His eyes opened and everything was blurring. "M-Mom?" He whispered and tried sitting up but a nurse told him that he had to lay down. He shook his head and sat up. "Where's my mom?" He demanded.

Suddenly, his mom walked in, crying. Alex saw her and shook his head.

"Mom...." He pulled her over and hugged her. He saw over her shoulder. Jack. Laying there. He looked like he wasn't breathing.

"J-Jack?" He whispered and a doctor shushed him. He sighed and looked down. He shook his head and laid back. He started talking to his mom quietly. She asked why he did it and he just sighed. "I wanted to see Daniel."

His mom frowned and started crying even harder. "This was the room Daniel died in, Alex... He did the same thing you just did.. But it worked.. God wants you to live.." She whispered and kissed his cheek.

Alex shook his head and started crying. He looked down and pulled the covers over his head, crying silently. "He loves you Alex..."

A short woman walked in, she was hysterical and she cried into a worn tissue "My babies gonna die!" she wailed and held Jack's hand tightly.

"No he's not, we just need to check him over. We are afraid to say he is going to be in a coma for a few days, okay?" the doctor was speaking calmly to Mrs Barakat.

Alex was still unaware as to what was happening with Jack, he couldn't see their lips and it frustrated him strongly. He sighed and kissed his mother cheek again.

"Who did this to you, sweetie?" his mother was whispered into Jacks fingers with tears sliding down her nose.

"We have reason to believe that he was beaten multiple times with a baseball bat, in the stomach and also in the head."

At that the woman cried harder holding her sons hands for dear life, thinking if she let go he would be gone too. The heart monitor was okay though, he was still living and breathing, but possibly with brain damage and broken ribs.

"We think he has multiple rib damage and maybe a little brain damage," said the man as Jacks shirt was cut off him, his purple and black skin was suddenly clear to everyone seeing him "And multiple bruising..." the doctor added with a frown to his face.

Jack moved a little bit then he was still again, he probably wasn't going to move for a while. He was in a coma, they weren't sure how long he would be in one for but they knew it wasn't particularly good at this time.

"We are very sorry Mrs. Barakat."

That's when Mrs Gaskarth let out a sob after hearing it all and went and hugged the woman who's son was fighting for life. Mrs Barakat hugged back crying into the neat womanise shoulder, sniffing occasionally

Alex looked over there, just wanting to get up and hold Jack's hand. He sat up once again and swung his legs over the side. A doctor came over, trying to get him to sit back down. He just stopped him then walked over to Jack, legs shaking. He took one of his hands and sat down on the edge of the bed.

He knew what Jack's mom was thinking; Who the heck is this kid? Her mind was probably off somewhere else though. thinking about what it was be like if Jack died. She wouldn't have anyone. Jack's dad would still be there. Beating her every minute.

Alex shook his head and kissed the top of Jack's hand, doing a little pray in his head then standing up and walking back to his bed. He laid down and looked at his mom as she just stared at him. She knew that this kid was the one who lied to get Alex out of jail.

What she didn't know is how they became so close. How Alex just walked over there and kissed Jack's hand then laid back down.

Alex soon started drifted off to sleep, tears falling down his cheeks as he slept. In his dream, he saw Daniel. Perfect. Not ruined like he was... His face was happy and bright.

His eyelids weren't purple from not sleeping. His hair perfectly on his head, not torn out. His body standing and alive.

Instead, in his dream, he was the dead one. Alex was gone. His little brother living. What if that had happened? The helpless one could have died, and the one who was going somewhere lived.

Jack was still dead to the day as he was wheeled in for a brain scan leaving his mother shaking Mrs Gaskarth's arms Tears trailing on her skin before she patted Mrs Gaskarth's back.

"I'm sorry. I'm-m being-g se-selfish... Is your son okay-y?" Jacks mum asked Alex's mum with a concerned frown as he was shaking and crying, she reached over and wiped his tears.

It was Mrs Gaskarth's turn to cry now, she sniffles trying to keep composed "He... His brother killed himself a few years ago..." she was sobbing "And he wanted to see him..." she then burst into tears grabbing Jacks mum and crying hard.

"Shhh..." one whispered giving Alex's mum a kiss on the temple much like what Jack had done to Alex when he was upset.

It was two weeks later when Jack was back to school, his father hadn't stopped. Nobody had figured it out, that he was the reason Jack had been in hospital.

Jack had one injury, that was major, his eye sight gone from one eye after being whacked there with a stick. He could still see so he figured he was fine.

"Look... Wait.. He's coming, hide, Merrick!" Rian Dawson hushed.

Rian Dawson had been gettin their homeroom ready for Jack, everyone in the school knows what had happened to him and were giving him a party when he walked into the room.

"He's coming!" Kara gripped her boyfriends arm in excitement as the crouched down behind a seat.

Jack was walking in with Alex, he was scared. He hadn't spoken to Alex, nor had he wanted to either. Jacks hand pushed at his homeroom door to screams of 'SURPRISE!' and the lights turning on.

Jack already was hugging Rian and Zack with smiles as he said thank you to them all for doing this. The cute blond walked over and pushed his bangs from his eyes seeingthe blind eye.

"Oh sweetie," she whispered with sad eyes as people were talking together, she gave his cheek a kiss before Jack rolled his eye and sat next to Alex writing his first note in ages.

'Alex, talk to me'

Alex bit his lower lip, looking down at the note as his shaky hand wrote 'I don't want to talk.' He passed the note back to Jack and stared down at his hands. Each time he looked at his hands, he saw a ton of pills in them.

He wished he had friends that gave him a little suprise type of thing when he got back from the hospital. But no one even knew that Alex existed. Everyone had pushed Alex from Jack's side when they walked in. He sighed when he saw Marissa walk in.

Marissa gave Alex a deadly look then took her seat in the front. Alex wiped a tear that just happened to escape his eye as he waited for Jack to write him back. He shook, trying to stop but just couldn't. He pulled out his phone as it started going off, playing Michael Jackson. He didn't know what song it was. People started laughing as he checked the text. It was from his mom saying 'Be careful.'

He shoved it back into his pocket and put his headphones into his ears as the teacher walked in. Mrs. Rayne. She smiled at the class. "He-" She stoped and shook her head. "Alex alex alex.." She walked over, taking the headphones out and taking his iPod. "Kids, what is my rule?"

"No iPods." The entire class said and laughed at Alex. He sighed and looked down.

"Alex, detention.." She said then looked at Jack with a bright smile on her face. "Mr. Barakat! You're back!" She laughed and walked over, putting an arm around his shoulder. "Welcome back!"

Jack smiled a little at her "Uh yeah... I'm back... But Alex was in hospital too? So... He's back too!" Jack smiled and sat next to Alex who was looking at him with a frown.

"Oh, welcome back Mr Gaskarth!" Mrs Rayne smiled at him then rolled her eyes and continued with her lesson that Jack had interrupted.

Jack paid attention slightly, before giving up and putting his cheek against his palm and heaving a sigh from his lips as he looked back to Alex's perfect skin and perfect hair.

'Al, please... I miss you speaking/writing to me...):' he slid it to him.

Jack did miss Alex's little nervous stutter and his scrawl of writing on Jacks crumpled paper that he would always find to write to Alex with, he liked being able to talk to him. Well, communicate, some how.

"Mr Barakat... Do you need any help, you can't see so..." Mrs Rayne was bending down to him and passing himthe notes she had written on the board.

"Uh, thanks." he spoke awkwardly.

The lesson seemed to drone on and Jack wasn't getting a reply from Alex any time soon, he wanted to know what he had done wrong though. He hadn't done anything to Alex, well, nothing he was aware of at the moment.

His thumbs pressed at his Blackberry in a text to Rian 'R we playing PS3 @ ur house 2nite?' jack texted Rian, wanting any excuse he could not to go home and face his fathers wrath.

'Yeah, c u @ 7?' was the reply from Rian who was holding Kara's hand in one of his hands while redding in the other.

'Yeah :)'

Jack then was bored again, tying to find stuff to do since he already had the notes done for him. He started tapping a rhythm onto his thigh with a frown.

Alex bit his lip and finished writing what was on the board, then the bell rang. He got up, picking his things up and rushing out of the classroom. He went to his locker and switched off some books. He saw Marissa walk by him with Zack. The boy who had been with Jack at lunch one day. He bit his lip when she hit his shoulder with a glare.

He yawned and looked down at his phone. He texted his mom 'Alright...' He started walking down the hall, wondering what Mrs. Rayne was going to do with his iPod.

He wanted it back. Now. He sighed and went to the bathrooms. He walked in and there was all the jocks, laughing and shaking their heads. A jock looked at him and smirked. "Suicidal now, huh?" They all laughed. Alex frowned and ran out of the bathroom. The cheerleaders were standing there by the lockers, laughing.

He started to feel like a freak. Alex ran and bumped into Jack. The tall, lanky, cute boy. He fell down onto his back and then moved into a corner and hugged his knees to his chest.

"I-I'm so-sorry..." He whispered.

It broke Jacks heart seeing him like this, so he sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He was going to sit here with Alex, he didn't care if he got in trouble about it. Tough.

Everyone apart from them was in lessons, Jack rubbed Alex's arm soothingly with a small frown on his face ad he pulled Alex into his chest feeling the boys arms going around him.

Jack kissed his sic hair and pulled him to his chest with a sigh to his lips, he didn't want Alex to be this upset all the time, when they pulled back Jack closed his eyes and spoke clearly so Alex could see his lips.

"You know I am here for you, Lex..." he said quietly though he knew Alex would be able to read his lips as he still held his arms around Jacks lanky body.

"I-I..." the older stuttered before burying his head in Jacks chest.

Jack just held him there stroking his soft hair comfortingly with a sad face on his bruised skin, he pressed a kiss to Alex's forehead with a frown ok his eyebrows.

"I want to be your friend... Bestfriend," Jack spoke clearly again, a hand on Alex's cheek.

Alex looked at him and bit his lower lip.

"N-No y-you do-d-don't..." He whispered and hugged the tall boy tightly. He liked being in his arms. He pressed his lips against Jack's chest then pressed his head against his chest, closing his eyes. He wanted to ditch. So so bad...

"N-No o-one wa-wants to be m-my f-friend.. I-I'm...." He looked down with a sad look on his face, "Weird.." He said. Everyone just called him weird. Plain and simple. Weird.

He moved his arms from around the boy and stood to his feet. Alex offered a hand to Jack and looked up at the ceiling. They were probably going to get caught, but who cared? Jack probably didn't. Nor did Alex.

He walked to his locker after helping Jack up and grabbed his backpack, putting some things in it. He turned back to Jack and waved him over. He started walking to the main entrance, walked out the doors and too the parking lot.

Alex grinned down at the freshly grown green grass. Perfectly short grass, dew all over. He looked down at his now wet converse and let out a small giggle as he looked back to see Jack approching him.

Jack smiled at Alex, one of his lazy smiled that just lit up his whole face "Oh, I have something of yours," again he was looking at Alex when he spoke. He dug a hand in his pocket and smirked when he passed the iPod.

"Rian sweet talked miss into giving it back," Jack explained smiling when Alex's face out up to the sight of his iPod being given back to him. Jack just laughed and took Alex's hand in his quickly pulling him past the school, before softly letting go.

The walk was almost silent, Jack wanted Alex to talk. He liked his voice, it was cute, the stutter was. Jack was taking Alex to his special place, he didn't mind that Alex would know where it was.

It was deep in the woods, there was a little but with a circle of bushes then it was fields of lavender and radiant grass, as far as Jack knew, nobody knew of it. Apart from him and Alex.

He sat down pulling on Alex's hand to follow suit.

Alex smiled and sat down. "Wait.. R-Rian D-Dawson talk her i-into it?" He grinned widely. Rian was usually very mean to Alex, but Alex thought Rian had the cutest smile ever. His teeth were perfectly straight and white. He watched as he nodded. He grinned ever more wide then laid back in the grass, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

Alex looked the small of nature. It was just natural and perfect. It was beautiful as Alex described it. He smiled and laid so his head was in Jack's lap.

He shut his eyes, taking another deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. He opened his eyes and looked up at the sky, only seeing big green trees.

Boring. He chuckled at himself.

He had a faucking cute laugh too, Jack admitted to himself as he looked to Alex's head which was on his lap. Jack just smiled and scratched into a section of dirt

"Something boring you, Lex?"

He normally came here alone, but he didn't honestly care if Alex thought this was boring or not, hr could go home any time he wanted to. It's not like they were tied to each other in some kinky handcuffs.

But Alex didn't reply, there were soft snores escaping his mouth and Jack just laughed flopping back onto the grass one hand stroking his hair as he looked to the sky watching the birds.

"I wish you could hear someday," Jack mumbled,

It apparently was refer the whole deaf thing. He hadn't been born with it, so he had been in an accident to et it. Jack wondered if Alex were to get in another accident... If it would go away?

"Night beautiful," he laughed.

Alex slept, having the same dream as in the hospital. He had been having that same dream every night since he was there. It was like Daniel took over his body, but not really. He started moving around and soon, fell from Jack's lap. "H-Help.." He whispered in his sleep, seeing all the pills that he dropped and all of the extras in his hands.

"DANIEL!!!!!!" He screamed then woke up, tears rolling down his cheeks. He ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip, wiping the tears. He didn't want Jack seeing him crying.

"Uhhh. Oops." He fake chuckled. He looked at Jack, pain in his eyes.

Jack knew about Daniel, his mother had told him about Daniel, so he knew. He just looked Alex with a frown ok his perfect face.

His arms just went around Alex automatically pulling him into his chest with a sigh and a kiss on the forehead. He wanted Alex to have a happier life not one like this, this wasn't good. Jack just held him there letting the elder boy cry hard in his chest.

It hurt, the pressure Alex had on him. He would do that for Alex.

Alex cried into his chest. "W-Why w-was i-i-it h-him? W-Why wasn't i-it m-me?!" He cried and cried. He didn't want to be alive anymore.. He wanted to die and go to heaven to see his brother there. Waiting for him.

Jack held his arms around Alex with a soft sigh into his golden hair, before kissing his temple quickly, he spoke against his skin figuring he would be able to somehow feel the words so he could hear them, Jack was too contented to move right now

"I'm always gonna be here for you, Alex."

Then it was silent again, and the sun was still shining down onto them making Alex's golden highlights stand out in an adorable way, Jack heard Alex sniffle then look up to him with a frown on his face, a hand still around Jack.

"R-re-really?"

Jack nodded pressing another kiss onto Alex's hair a small smile left on his lips after doing so before he fell back onto the grass, Alex left straddling his waist. Jack just laughed a little and closed his bruised eyes with a sigh.

"Yes." Jack nodded a little, his teeth sunk into his lip before his lips parted softly again.

Alex smiled a little and bent down, giving him a small kiss right on the nose. "T-Thank y-you, Jack.." He just kept his position there, straddling his small waist. He looked up at the sky then chuckled as it started pouring out.

"I-I l-lo-love the r-rain.." He whispered then stood up. He started spinning in circles, his golden brown hair pressed down on his forehead now. He let out a small giggle then looked at Jack. "Come o-on! L-Let's dance!" He giggled again and grabbed his hand.

Alex started dancing crazily with Jack, laughing and smiling. He was having fun. Bring crazy and weird. That was fun in Alex's eyes.

He took his hands and danced around with him, giggling.

Jack was laughing as they spun around doing all the stuff they normally do in those romantic comedies, but it was special and adorable. Jack smiled when they both slipped in the mud created at their feet, boys shaking with laughter as they laid in the mud..

Jack smiled at Alex and said "You're special, Al.." with a big grin before sitting up a little and stretching out his long legs with a smile on his lips.

His phone started to play his ringtone, he picked it up reading Rian's text 'R u coming?'

Jack frowned and noticed the time was getting nearer to it 'Yh, can Alex come 2?'

'Sure'

Jack smiled a big smile and showed Alex the text

Alex smiled widely and looked at him. "R-Rian s-said I could g-go to h-his h-ho-house?" He asked, surprised. Rian used to hate him.

Jack nodded his head then soon, they walked to Rian's house. Once they got there, Jack knocked on the door and Rian opened it for them. He gave Jack a bro hug then nodded his head at Alex. "Hey guys." Rian smiled and let them in. Alex and Jack walked in, then Rian grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him to the game room.

Alex bit his lip and watched them run off, wondering what he was supposed to do. He looked around the big, clean house. Rian seemed like a little rich kid.

Jack quickly walked back through and grabbed Alex's hand giving him a big grin before pulling him back to the games room where Rian was setting up a PS3 with three controllers on Black Ops, Zombies.

"You know how to play?" Jack asked Alex, with a smile as he handed him the remote, all of them squished up onto a leather bean bag that was slopped on the emerald carpet.

"Get ready to die," Rian grinned giving Jack a high five as the game began.

After a good few hours of playing Black Ops, Rian had won most of the games getting them all through to round 20 or something like that.

"Zacks coming over too, he plays bass you know?" Rian began while chewing a bit of cheese pizza, Jack smile licking some sauce off his lips "We should make like.. a band?"

Alex bit his lip, watching them talk about making a band or something. He always wanted to be in a band. Lead singer. Of course, if he could sing. He could play guitar very well, so.

He yawned as they just kept talking. He started tapping his figners on his thigh, then Zack walked in. Marissa was right by his side. He frowned a ton and she smirked at him. He looked down and sighed quietly as Rian started talking to them.

He felt like an outcast here and just wanted to leave. He looked up and stared ahead.

Where they really going to make a band? Since when did Rian or Jack play an instrument? And Zack? He always looked like he was the one to beat the shit out of someone.

Not play bass.

Jack put and arm around Alex "Bye, guys.." he said half heartedly before grabbing Alex's hand nd stranding up "See you tomorrow, Ri!" he grinned and did a little bro-hug sorta thing.

Jack left the house holding Alex's hand, he blushed a little and dropped it looking at Alex with a shy smile on his face. "Can I tell you something?" he asks with his face in front of Alex's.

Alex nodded a little, but Jack wasn't going to tell him right there. He pulled him over the road and sat at a tree in the park before looking at him and writing on a bit of purple paper.

'You're already one of my best friends, Lexy' he slid it to him with a smile

Alex smiled slightly and blushed. He wrote 'Really? Best friend?' He slid it to Jack and watched as the smile on his face grew bigger and bigger.

'Yes.' The note said as it was passed back to Alex's hand. He grnined and looked at Jack. He kissed his cheek softly and whispered in his ear. "T-Thank you." He took one of Jack's hands tightly in his, intertwining their fingers together.

Every moment with Jack was like heaven. It was so sweet with him. everything was perfect it felt like. Well, of course it wasn't exactly heaven. Daniel wasn't here.

Alex gave Jack's hand a tight squeeze before pressing his soft lips against his cheek one again and leaning his head on his shoulder. He started cuddling into his side, a smile on his face.

Jack smiled and buried his face into Alex's neck as they sat there cuddling each other more than best friends should do, but Jack honestly didn't care if people thought this was weird, it was their choice wasn't it?

Jack felt his bruises start to hurt but he didn't care one bit, he was with Alex and that was all that mattered to him. He was with him, finally.