The Light That Wraps You

The cup in my hand was full of instant coffee. Instant.

They said that what happened to you was instant.

But what is instant? Even the coffee in my hands was not really instant. If it were, I could snap my fingers and it would be ready, but it takes at least ten minutes. Instant rice, instant messaging, instant pudding… None of it is truthfully what it says. What is instant to the world? A minute? A second? Something even smaller than that? How can they say that something is instant? Maybe they said it was instant, no more than an iota of time, but perhaps for you, it was an instant that lasted forever.

Even now, two years later, I find myself wondering what your last thoughts were. Did you know? In that so-called instant, did your life flash before your eyes as they often say when Death comes to embrace you? I have tried picturing it dozens of times within my mind. You, winding on that road, the wind in your hair because we all know you weren’t wearing a helmet. A sudden gust that made you wobble. You thinking to yourself, Shit. Maybe I should have waited for Kris after all. Maybe--

Bang. Instant.

That wasn’t really what I think occurred to you. I just hoped it was, because you were supposed to wait for me, but you were too excited and no words could contain you, not even mine. You were stupid. I didn’t mean that, but you were.

Maybe I shouldn’t have forgotten my helmet--

Bang. The wind took you, knocked control out of your hands, and you were down.

That seemed more likely.

No pain, like they said. No pain for you, but plenty leftover for the rest of us.

It was December. We were being followed by cameras everywhere we went. It was a special for the network HBO, and their popular 24/7 Sports series. They were focusing on our battle against the Capitals that would happen after Christmas. We were not worried. Nothing had felt better for us than those moments, and although it was strange to be in front of all those lights and lenses, we were not afraid.

When I arrived at Consol Energy Center for the game against the Maple Leafs, I knew something was wrong. Well, not wrong, but different. The dressing room was empty, bags and sticks strewn about the place like there had been a fire and everyone left in a hurry, except there was no fire. I heard distant voices, so I set down my coffee and followed them.

Straight to Dr. Burke’s exam room. A line streamed out the door, and almost every single guy on the team was standing there, plus some of our equipment managers and trainers. I was so confused.

“Tanger!” Max shouted, and I saw him at the head of the line with Flower. He waved me over and I stood next to them, trying to see around the crowd filling the doorway.

“What is happening?”

“New doctor!” Max was practically wriggling out of his pants with excitement.

“What happened to Burke?”

“He took a leave of absence,” Flower said, standing on his tiptoes, taller than Max and I normally. “Now we have a new physician and it’s a woman.”

A woman? How unusual. Not because I believe that women can’t be strong and smart; quite the opposite. I’m just surprised. Not many women would want to deal with this many temperamental men. Plus there’s that issue about us being mostly naked in front of her…

“What is she like?”

Flower shrugged. “Don’t know. She won’t let anyone in. She’s with Staalsy right now, looking at his ankle and his hand to see if he can practice soon.”

“Hey!” A voice suddenly shouted from behind us. It was Sid, standing there in his gear and staring at us like we were all crazy. “Do we have a game, or am I on the wrong hockey team? What are all of you doing? Go get dressed!”

The guys slowly filtered away, grumbling and looking disappointed. Finally, all that was left was me, Max, Flower, and Sid. He immediately joined the three of us outside the door, a lopsided grin on his face.

Max smiled knowingly. “Nice tactic, captain.”

“Hey, I was being serious. You three need to go too.”

“What, and let you steal her right out from under us? No way.” Max pushed him playfully. Fleury got involved, and they were still jostling each other by the time Jordan came out, cradling his broken hand and still limping slightly. A petite woman followed him, almost entirely hidden by Staalsy’s broad back. When I saw her, my eyes nearly fell out of my head.

She was small, easily a foot shorter than Fleury. She was curvy, walking sensually without even meaning to, her body imitating the shape of an hourglass. Her hair was a pale blonde, pulled back into a neat bun at the nape of her neck. Her eyes were big and a bluish gray that mimicked the sky right after a storm. Her lashes were long and surprisingly dark, her cheekbones high and elegant. Her skin was smooth and makeup free, and she looked very surprised to see all of us. She didn’t seem real.

“Oh. Hello! You must be some of Jordan’s teammates.”

Her accent was minimal, barely detectable to the common ear, but there all the same. We nearly pounced on her in our excitement. Even Sid, who isn’t inherently French, looked pleased.

“Salut!” Max exclaimed, beating all of us to the punch. “Vous devez être notre nouveau médecin!”

She smiled prettily, blushing slightly. “Yes, I am your new doctor. Forgive me, but I don’t like to speak French in the presence of those who don’t. I feel that it is rude.”

“Oh, it’s just Staalsy,” Max said jokingly, rolling his eyes.

The younger athlete was not amused. “Yeah, don’t mind me,” Jordan remarked irritably. “I’m just here. And still not allowed to practice.”

She immediately turned to him, laying her hand on his arm. “I told you, Jordan, your hand worries me. And even if you are feeling better, you have to take the proper steps to manage your injuries! You cannot just leap back into the game and expect to do amazing things. Greatness comes gradually.”

Jordan’s annoyance faded immediately, giving him the contrite look of a boy who’s just been scolded. Sid looked like he had just fallen in love. Max was still drinking in her looks, and Fleury seemed equally amazed, if not attracted. I just stared. I couldn’t look away from her; it was if she was sucking all the light from the room, and spinning it outward from herself in a radiant glow. She was beautiful without even trying to be, and I knew this was dangerous. We are all going to love you, chérie, I thought to myself. Whether you love us back or not; we will not be able to resist.

“Well, don’t let me keep you from your game. You have practice now, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sid stammered. “Guys, you need to go change. Except you Staalsy. Take it one day at a time, all right?”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be up in the box.” Suddenly his blue eyes lit up. “Why don’t you come sit with me?”

Her eyes grew larger, if that was even possible. “Oh, no! I couldn’t. I might be needed. It’s my job to stay here, in case someone gets hurt. Or else, why am I in Pittsburgh?”

They all laughed too loudly at that, and I managed to crack a smile. Jordan just shrugged, undeterred by her refusal. “Okay, well maybe some other time. Anyway, don’t you guys have some place to be?” He stared at all of us pointedly.

“We do, but we wanted to properly welcome our new physician,” Sid said smoothly, smiling at her. “I don’t think we caught your name?”

“Oh, how silly of me!” She held out her hand and he shook it. “I’m Dr. Lucinda Girard. My friends call me by my nickname."

“Which is…?”

“Lux.” The word sounded rich and exotic on her tongue, and I tasted it in my mind. Lux.

Sid looked confused. “Lux?”

“My mother called me it as a child, and it just stuck. It is the Latin word for light.”

How perfect. Lux, the girl to light up all our lives. I didn’t know how I knew it, but she was going to do just that, I was certain of it. Just by being on our journey with us, she would change us all.

I didn’t know it yet, but it was you that had brought this girl to me. You brought light back into my life.