The Light That Wraps You

Lux looked in the mirror, straightening the sea of blue fabric that covered her torso. She bit her lip. “Are you sure this is okay?”

Kris nodded. The jersey was a little big for her since they’d bought the Men’s size, but he didn’t think it mattered. “It’s perfect.” He reached out and touched her shoulder. “Ready?”

Her reflection smiled at him. “Let’s go.”

By the time they arrived, practice was already in full swing. It wasn’t open to the public, but they weren’t just the public. Tiptoeing through the stands, Lux picked a place against the wall, as far away from the ice as possible. When Kris questioned her about it, she shrugged.

“Game one of the Finals starts tomorrow. I don’t want to distract them.”

She also felt nervous, but she didn’t want to tell Kris that. It was bad enough that she was forced to choose between who she had always considered her team, and the team her heart knew. It was worse that her team, the Boston Bruins, were already in town and would be skating following the practice she and Kris were watching. On top of all of that, though, was what she was doing -- what they were doing. She couldn’t believe this moment had finally arrived.

As if he knew, Kris reached over and grabbed her hand. She squeezed his fingers, hard, but it calmed her down to know he was there with her.

She looked down at what she was wearing, hoping that it would be okay, that they wouldn’t think she was being brash or offensive. She had sworn she wouldn’t wear a jersey, that she wouldn’t choose a side in the battle for the Cup. But these were special circumstances.

Practice was starting to wind down when the door against the far wall opened and two people trickled inside. They scanned the seats, but didn’t seem to notice Kris or Lux. Lux sucked in a sharp breath when she saw them, and squeezed Kris’ hand again. This time, he squeezed back.

It was Wayne Gretzky who said, “You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.”

So Lux let out a shaky breath, and pulled her hand out of Kris’ grip. She stood.

“Where are you going?”

She pointed. “Down there.” To the ice, to take a shot, and do what she had been meaning to do for the past two years.

The stairs ended much too soon, and suddenly she was there, on level ground with all of the guys she had dreamed of meeting since the morning she woke up with a strong, beating heart. She leaned against the boards, fingers digging into the chipped paint. Kris was behind her, coming down the stairs, but he was also holding back, walking slowly, giving her a minute. She took another deep breath, steadier this time; the glass clouded in front of her lips.

#17 skated past slowly, and gave her a small smile. She waved at him. If it wasn’t for his help, none of the day’s events would have been possible. He had acted kindly as her go-between, helping both her and Kris with the niceties. It was because of him that she was watching the last chapter unfold, before she would close the book. Maybe she would come back to it in the future when she needed to remember how the chapters went, but for now, it was time to end it where it needed to say goodbye.

#14 skated past the glass and turned his head, frowning. His mouth dropped open at the sight of her jersey, and he almost crashed into #40.

The nervousness returned, and this time, Lux’s head spun. Her hands shook and she clenched the boards harder, willing them to ground her. She felt a hand at the small of her back, as Kris stepped up beside her.

“Tell me this isn’t a mistake.”

“It’s not a mistake. It never will be.”

She thought she heard a hint of amusement in his voice, but she couldn’t be sure. She bit her lip again, worrying it between her teeth the way she had been doing all morning. By the time she actually got onto the ice, she’d look awful. Reminding herself to breathe, she stopped, licking her lips once before reaching over and touching Kris on the arm.

“Are you sure that they’ll be okay with this?”

“They have been waiting as long as you.” He reached up and tucked a strand of her blond hair behind one ear, brushing her jaw with his thumb. “Luc sera si fier.”

That was enough for her. Turning and pressing a kiss to Kris’ cheek, she managed to loose her grip on the boards -- just in time for practice to end.

While all the others gathered in a circle to listen to Alain Vigneault, #17 skated away, towards her. Her heart beat double time. This was it.

She met him at a glassless portion of the boards. Shucking his gloves, he held her dainty hand in his and helped her over. Her skates settled easily on the ice, and she took a second to get her bearings. By then, everyone was looking, wondering who this stranger was wearing the #28 jersey. Lux could feel the heat of their stares, questioning her motives. Ryan Kesler did the same as Kris had a few moments ago, squeezing her hand comfortingly.

“I’m so happy you’re here.”

“I’m frightened.”

Kesler smiled. “Don’t be. You may not realize this, but you are so special to this team. You have a piece of him inside of you. Just by being around, you’re keeping his memory alive. That is a more precious gift than anything else we could have asked for.”

As he led her over to his teammates, Lux was afraid she might cry. Actually, she knew she would, but Kesler’s words had surprised her. Was Kris right? Had they really been waiting for her all this time?

The circle of Canucks opened for Lux and Kesler. He let go of her hand, and gestured around to the team. “Guys, this is Lucinda Girard. She’s a doctor from New Brunswick. She’s been working in Boston for the last few years--”

Someone booed quietly, and everyone laughed. Lux smiled, some of the tension easing out of her.

“Most of you may have already heard of her. We certainly saw quite a bit of her during HBO’s 24/7 Penguins-Capitals Road To The Winter Classic.” A couple of the guys tapped their sticks on the ice, and Lux’s smiled widened. “What HBO doesn’t know though is that she’s a huge part of this team.”

Kesler took a deep breath. “A couple of years ago, we lost a good player, and an even better friend. His name was Luc Bourdon. Never would you find a kid with more heart. He was funny, smart, and determined to overcome adversity, no matter what. When he died, we thought we lost him. But the truth is, we didn’t. Luc and his family chose to donate his organs in the event of his death, and his heart just so happened to go to Lux.”

Most of the guys were openly staring now. Lux looked around at each of them in turn, meeting their gazes. She saw nothing accusatory, only sadness mingling with joy.

Lux didn’t know all of their names, not yet. But she was willing to learn.

“I am sorry to have to come here under such sad circumstances,” she said, clearing her throat. “But I thought it was time, especially since you could very well be Stanley Cup champions quite soon. And I--I wanted to meet you all. Luc changed my life, and so in turn, I wanted to meet the team that changed his. I hope that is okay.”

#14 skated forward. Lux knew his name, had watched a video of him on the Internet with Luc. The two of them had gotten pied in the face by Kevin Bieksa and Kesler, laughing as they wiped the cream from their eyes and mouths. To see them not as hockey players but as men, caught in that moment of life, brought tears to her eyes.

Alex Burrows dropped his stick and his gloves to the ice. He looked shell-shocked, but a brilliant smile blossomed on his face. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around Lux, holding her so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe. She laughed in his embrace, tears swimming in her eyes. She felt in his hug that he wasn’t just hugging her, he was hugging Luc, and she could almost feel the unspoken words pass between the two of them. We're going to win it for you, mon frère. Whether it's this year or ten years from now, that Cup is yours.

“Of course it’s okay!” he shouted, letting go of her. She laughed, wiping her eyes.

One by one, every single member of the Canucks team hugged her. Andrew Alberts even lifted her off the ice, and she squealed out a laugh. While they went through every one of them, Kesler opened up the ice and helped the two newcomers, the only ones without skates on besides Kris. They were crying by the time they reached the group.

Lux turned to face them, the smile gone from her face. Meeting the team was not going to be the hard part. Facing his mother and the love of his life was what kept her awake all the night before and even on the plane to Vancouver. This was the moment she had been dreading, but now, standing in front of them, she felt nothing but a serene sureness, like this was where she was meant to be. This was how the story was going to end.

Suzanne Boucher fell to her knees. The ice soaked into her jeans, but she didn’t seem to feel the cold. It had been years, but Lux knew this was like reopening the wounds. This was why she had been hesitant to visit. Luc had been Suzanne’s only son.

Charlene Ward was choking back sobs, but tears sparkled on her cheeks anyway. There was so much they already knew about each other, though they had never met in person. Charlene was on her way to becoming a doctor, just like Lux. In a way, they had both been dying during their studying days at medical school. In a way, they were both losing their hearts.

Lux didn’t know what she should do. So she did the only thing she could do. She lowered herself onto her knees, and reached for Suzanne. Suzanne raised her gaze and stared at Lux, dumbfounded, as Lux threw her arms around her.

“I never knew your son,” she said, a lump forming in her throat. “But I had to let you know he saved my life.”

Suzanne held her tight and sobbed onto her shoulder, the letters of Luc’s last name bunching in her fists.

Charlene knelt beside them, and hugged Lux too. “Thank you,” she said softly. “You have no idea. This…this is everything.”

Alex Burrows was next, wrapping an arm around Charlene’s shoulder. One by one, each Canuck dropped to their knees and hugged whoever was next to them, whoever was available. Even Alain Vigneault sat down on the ice, reaching out and putting a hand on Mason Raymond’s shoulder.

Lux looked up, over the circle of bodies around her. She saw Kris standing at the glass, his eyes red. He raised one hand and pressed it against the glass, smiling at her. Just beyond, sitting in the stands, wearing the same jersey that she was wearing now, Lux could see Luc. His smirk was jaunty, and he shook his head, laughing to himself.

I'm going to marry that man, Lux thought, remembering the gargoyle Kris had given her, the Morgengabe. And I'm going to live a long, happy life. All thanks to you.

Luc's smile widened. Raising one hand in a salute, he vanished right before her very eyes.

Holding onto Suzanne as tightly as she could, Lux smiled back.

So tell everybody, the ones who walk beside me: I know you’ll find your own way when I’m not with you tonight.