How to be Emo

I was let out of the hospital a week later, but I was on suicide watch. Great, more paranoia.

I stood in front of the mirror. I didn’t really look at what I was doing while I cut my hair, but I didn’t care. I cut it like a child would to be independent. I did it to feel better.

I was at Niki’s house, since she wanted to become friends again. I just wanted to cut my hair.

“Beth, c’mon!” Niki yelled with her ultra-perky voice.

I got my backpack from the floor and headed downstairs, to see her waiting at the end. She held back a gasp and just nodded. I guess she was pretty cool now.

We walked out of her house and goody for us; she only lives four blocks from school. We walked in silence and I could tell it was killing her.
“Thanks,” I muttered, meeting her eyes for a split second. “I, um, need to hang out with a girl.” I guess I had to talk so that she could tell me stuff. Girls like her love to talk. I would know, I was one for a while. “Anything you wanna talk about?”

“Uh.” She brushed her fingers through her hair. “What’s your deal with that Leon guy?”

I felt my body go numb. “What do you mean?”

“I knew you before the whole Emo thing and you seemed to be...unhappy. Like you only hung out with us because you thought that’s what you were supposed to do. Then, you started to hang out with Leon and his friends. Beth, all I’m saying is that you were happy with him. I mean, why else would you have gone all of the way with him? He loves you, that’s obvious, but all you keep doing it shoving him away.” Niki took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m very observant about other people, what can I say?”

I managed to smirk. I was starting to realize that she wasn’t a “prep” she was a very observant girl who’ll be there when she needs to be. I can almost call her my friend. Almost.