How to be Emo

The phone rang next to my ear and I let out a groan. I felt Leon reach for the phone and answered.

“Hello?” Leon let out a sigh. “Do you realize what time it is? I doubt Beth will wanna see her, anyways.” He didn’t bother to say much more. “Beth, honey, do you wanna talk to the rehab counselor?”

I rolled over and took the phone. “What do you want?”

“Sorry to bother you, Miss Beth, but your mother would like to set up a meet with you and I think it is a good idea,” said the woman who sent chills down my back.

“Okay, whatever. When?” I wasn’t going to fight my mother or ignore her anymore.

“How’s three...today?” the woman asked.

“Fine. What’s the address?” Once she gave it to me, I remembered that my dad tried sending mom there before he left. I hung up, glanced at the clock and saw that is was six. I got up, glanced at the half-awake Leon and smiled. “I’m going to take a shower.” I stopped at the door. “Are you coming?”

***

I had come earlier, sitting in the car with Leon for a while. We didn’t say much, because he didn’t know what to say and I wasn’t sure what to say that would make sense. When the clock hit three, we got out of the car and went inside.

The rehab smelt of gloves and cigarettes. Not a real shock and there were seats a lined against the dull white walls. I came to the desk and was greeted my a mid-twenty year old woman. “May I help you?”

I nodded. “I’m here to see Sondra Marsh, my mother.”

The woman gave me a look and wrote it down on a piece of paper. “Okay, Beth, I’ll take you to her room.”

We walked down the tiled flooring, with her heels slapping annoyingly against the tiles. I didn’t really pay attention, because I was glancing at the open doors. I saw women sleeping, crying, and reading the Bible. As if that would change anything. Finally, we came to a room, which only had a bed.

“Sondra.” The woman nodded inside the room, where my mother sat against the wall, holding herself.

I entered the room and nodded the woman away. “Hi.”

Mother looked very different: her long brown hair was frizzed out, her body was a bit chubby, and she seemed scared. “Hello, Beth.”

This was weird. For once, Mother wasn’t drunk and I didn’t really know what to say. “How’s the rehab going?”

“They’re trying to get me hooked on some Jesus guy. I don’t get how Jesus is going to help me. Can he buy vodka?” Sondra gave a smirk and I rolled my eyes. “How’s the boyfriend?”

I smiled. “He’s my fiancé now. I know you don’t approve, but I don’t care. We aren’t in a hurry and I’m not pregnant, if you care.”

Sondra stood up and I took a step back. “I do care, baby.”

“Don’t you see, Sondra? I’m not a child! I’m not your baby anymore. I am adult, who is in love, and doesn’t need your approval. I don’t worship you, I don’t need you, and I don’t care what you have to say.” I met her eyes, which had become angry. “You were never a real mother. Or a wife. No wonder Dad left! You didn’t love him; you loved your options better. You loved the alcohol more than anything. Sondra, you weren’t even capable to a mother and love her children while they were children and now is a little late.” My anger matched her eyes, her expression, her body language of being quiet of being told what to do of not being in control and it just killed her. “Danny is failing college because he’s drinking and getting high. Dad is happily married and totally forgot us. I’ve moved on. And here you are, alone, scared, and hopeless. That’s how I’ve felt since I can remember.”

“Am I going to be able to talk or are you going to on with your speech?” Sondra’s words were meant to be mean, to hurt, but I didn’t pay attention.

I grinned. “All I really want to say is that you’re on your own now and I’m glad.” I hugged myself. “And if or when you get out of here, I would like it if you didn’t contact me, because if you do, I will find a way to get you back here, because I know you can’t stay away from a bottle long enough.” I left the room, feeling high and free.