How to be Emo

I opened my eyes, my hands searched around for Leon. He wasn’t there. I sat up, full alert. I walked downstairs and saw Leon reading New Moon, which I had brought from home. “That’s a pretty depressing book, baby.”

Leon closed the book, giving me a smirk. “I guess so.” He walked over to me, wrapping his arms protectively around me. “How’d you sleep?”

I shrugged. “Alright.” I pecked his lips. I glanced away and he squeezed my sides, concerned. “Could we go see how my brother’s doing? I’m worried about him.”

Leon’s smile disappeared. “Beth, you don’t need to do this all at once. The way you make them sound, it makes me think that they don’t deserve your time.”

I pulled away, giving him a look. “Excuse me, Leon, but I’m no better than they are.” I walked back upstairs. “I’m taking a shower. Alone.”

I turned up my Skillet CD and jumped into the shower. I was so angry that I would have pulled out my hair, which was growing. I slammed my fists against the wall, not breaking it, but hurting my hands in the process. I fell to the floor in the tub, holding myself, and cried.

I remembered the last day I saw Danny. He was so high and barely made sense. Mother ignored him and I looked up to him. I knew that he was going to college to get away from mom and make dad happy. I remembered his green eyes as he waved by and headed to a friends house.

An hour later of washing myself in the cold water, I got dressed in jeans and a short shirt. I got my handheld CD player with my Meg & Dia CD. I put my headphones on and said a short goodbye to Leon.

I waited for the transit a few blocks away. When it finally came, I sat in the back, away from any interaction. I was angry at Leon for not supporting me and not understanding that I needed to do this—confront for family, my enemies—to be with him. If I didn’t do this, I couldn’t really give myself to him.

The transit took a few hours to get there and I was very patient about it. When it stopped a block from the college I nodded a goodbye to the driver and headed to the campus. Of course, the campus was breathtaking, with its gothic looking buildings that probably scared children away and brought hunchbacks.

I went to the office and waited for someone to notice me. There were a lot of people scrambling around, because it was the end of the year. “Excuse me.”

A woman stopped. “Yes?”

“Do you know if Danny Marsh is here?” I asked, doubting it.

She laughed. “Danny Marsh is a piece of work. Who are you?”

“His sister, Beth,” I answered, feeling more adult.

“Oh yeah, he talked about you a lot,” the woman said, smiling. “Danny dropped out. Do you want his file? We tried contacting a parent about it, but they said they didn’t know him.”

“Sounds like my family. Sure.” I stood there and she handed me a good-size folder. “Thank you.” I walked outside and saw on the steps. I opened the folder to find the essay that got him into college, the few assignments he did, and his few report cards. I came to a sheet with his address and smiled.

I walked a few blocks until I came to the house. It was nice, but the way the outside was set made me think that he had children. I knocked on the door and the door half opened.

A small girl stood there, her small pudgy face, big green eyes, and olive-skin like mine and his. “Who are you?”

“Is Danny here?” I asked, feeling my face soften.

“Daddy!”