Mirror, Mirror

For far too long I had not seen my own smiling image flash through a mirror image and into my own eyes. On the eve of my thirteenth birthday it was a day that changed me for the worse. That day on the thought of my own reflection sent a wave of different frightening emotions coursed through me, emotions I continue to live with.

The day that changed me forever was one I couldn't forget. My dad and I were out visiting my uncle in a clinic he'd checked himself into months ago. Without any knowledge of my uncles illness or how dangerous he could be, I was excited to see him. Although that thought was quickly slipping away when we arrived and the plain white walls and middle aged woman sitting in wheel chairs caught my attention.

When we got to the clinic my father and I sat in chairs across from Uncle Eddie's bed as he stared through the window looking outside. Soon, my dad stepped out to take a business call, leaving me with my uncle alone. I didn't mind, whatever illness my uncle had I was certain he could overcome, and he was my favorite relative so silence with him was never awkward.

I sat there looking around the room and then Uncle Eddie began to speak, “The hands… Hands and voices… Don’t listen to them.” I remember word for word of what he said, “Don’t look into the mirrors. The hands choke me, the voices tell me to do things. Just break them all! Don’t let them get to you. Don’t let them make you crazy,” he yelled over and over again.

I stood from my chair, letting it skid and fall down on the floor. I gripped the end of my shirt and let myself quiver as he looked me in the eyes and begged me to promise never to look in a mirror. His eyes filled with salty tears and his lips trembled more than my own hands were.

Soon the nurses came in to sedate him and I took one fast breath, looking behind me and seeing the first thing to give me a fright. First I saw myself, the light reflecting in such a way and into a picture perfect image of what I was. Perfect skin, as always, waved hair, amber eyes. I smiled at the image, more so to calm myself down, there were no voices, no hands. Uncle Eddie was wrong.

Then suddenly I saw an unusually gray lifeless hand make way around the edge of the mirror. The hand came close to me, almost touching the reflection of my face. More and more came, coming like forest fire, all enclosing the small mirror and covering the reflection to where I couldn't be seen. Soon about a million hands were hovering all over my body. I let out a ear crushing scream.

These hands, trying to suffocate me or protect me, enclosing around me and inviting me into their world. Next I heard the voices. Whispers of words that could barely ever be made out, I didn’t even bother to listen, I ran out the door and into my dads arms. On the way home I avoided all mirrors and windows. Then as soon as my father parked in our driveway I ran up into my room and smashed all mirrors I had. But that didn’t even stop the voices. They all screamed my name over and over again, “Crystal!”

I screamed along with them and scrambled over into the corner with my hands over my ears, rocking back and forth. Soon both my voice and theirs were just one loud echo, letting the shattered pieces on the floor rumble with an odd clattering noise. I guess the rest, is history.

Since then a year ago my mom took me to a psychiatrist, she suggested to take one long look in the mirror. Convincing me that those voices and hands aren’t real and never will be. I really didn’t want to try, but I didn’t want to waste my moms money. I sighed and took the big mirror on the desk beside me.

Three years since I’ve last seen myself. I didn’t mean to brag or anything, but I was beautiful. Then just as the glorious moment disappeared, the hands went straight for my face. Choking me, protecting me. It was just as a feared, it wasn't all in my head or all in that mirror in my uncles hospital room. This was real and they were after me.

Just as I opened my mouth to let out a scream a hand reached forward and held up a finger to my lips to silence me. “Shh! Don’t speak,” the voices spoke in unison. I threw the mirror down and yelled as I watched it shatter into a million pieces. I was shaking, trembling, heart racing.

But its just like I said. The rest is history. I’m never looking into another mirror again, hopefully.

~

I played with my great-grandmothers brush as I let my mom do my hair for my sister's wedding. Although my mother was thrilled to have her first born married, she didn't quite approve of he getting married at twenty-five, and she was complaining to me all afternoon. Any maid of honor had to look tip top, and I couldn't do it myself so my mother offered to help.

I could feel as my mother finished the last curl. She then showed me two flower berets before putting them in my hair.

“You look beautiful as always,” Mom commented. I smiled in response and started to nibble on my thumb. Mom sighed and leaned against the vanity without a mirror. “Don’t be so glum, Hun. I’m sure everyone would love you. Just because you’re a little different doesn’t make you an outcast.”

I sighed and put my hands in my lap, I so badly wanted to look through a mirror and at myself. The best luck I had was a reflection through water and a camera. “But mom, I am an outcast,” I argued, “I don’t have friends, everyone makes fun of me.”

“Don’t ever speak like that again. Always talk about the positive. You have one friend. Matty, nice boy,” she smiled, Mom always wanted Matty and I to get married and give her grandchildren. But Matthew and I have never been that way.

I stood and walked towards the door with my mother behind me. Our heels clanked on the hard marble floor and down the hall way to the main entrance of the reception room. Together we walked to where my sister was waiting.

“Crystal! You look so beautiful!” My sister commented. I smiled and blushed.

“Not as beautiful as you Cristina,” I commented back.

“Don’t flatter yourself. Just look in a mirror and see the beauty all for yourself,” Cristina let out a crackling laugh. I squinted my eyes at her. She always made fun of how I’m afraid. She was my main tormentor while I was in school and still is.

“Cristina, that’s not acceptable,” Mom came into the rescue as always. She held onto my waist, protecting me from my sister that was supposed to protect me as well.

“Mom, this is stupid. Just take one look into the mirror Crystal. Tell us all what you see…” Cristina spun me around. I saw a mirror directly in front me. I struggled to turn back around, but her grip was tight and her nails began to dig into my strapless dress. I was firmly placed in front of a mirror and I had no other choice but to be reminded of the horror of those billion limbs reaching out for me.

Cristina was right, I was beautiful, mom had done my hair and makeup just right. Until the hands ruined the image. I still tried my hardest to get out of her death grip. I could feel my heart beat become unsteady and fast as the hands hovered all over my body. My breathing became short. I kicked my sister and fell onto the floor and let out a loud scream.

I held my head in my hands as my mother lightly slapped my sister. Then she carefully placed her scarf over the mirror. I could hear the ‘Here Comes the Bride’ music. The bitch was going without me. I put my hands on the ground and leaned against the wall for a moment to catch my breath and feel one again. I sighed as a tear slowly raced down my cheek.

My mom started walking towards the door. “I’m going to go in. You don’t have to, but remember you will always be my sweet little angel,” she gave me a halfhearted smile before going in the church.

After I calmed down a few minutes later I heard a couple of ‘I do’s’. I didn’t know I’d been out here that long. I slowly stood up and hovered my hand over my hair to check if there were any stray hairs. After I made sure I was presentable I walked outside to where the reception would be. I sat on the edge of the fountain where I could see everyone beginning to take their seats and watch the bitch and groom cut the cake.

I turned away from the reception and looked at the fountain. I looked down at the water and ran my hand through it to mess up the image. I put my now wet hand in my lap and looked in the fountain to see my reflection. I saw someone approach from behind me. I smiled and straightened my spine. He was cute.

“Why aren’t you having a good time with the others? No one should be alone at a wedding,” he said with a mouth full of pearly whites. I looked at him fully before answering. He had short brown hair that reached the tip of his eye brows. He had a white button down shirt with black suspenders and black slacks. He also had on a fedora hat and black shoes.

I shrugged and continued to look in the water. He should know I was Cristina’s sister, news about me in town wasn't exactly taken lightly. “Parties aren’t really my thing,” I answered.

“Well maybe we could make our own party. I’m Kevin.”

“Crystal.”

“Crystal,” he whispered and nodded his head, “Don’t go with them. They’ll only destroy you.” He muttered with a pained look on his face.

For the first time speaking with him I quickly turned around after yelling, “Excuse me?” But only wasn’t he there anymore, I had a huge headache.

God, now I’m hallucinating people. I hurriedly stood and walked inside to the restroom. Once I entered I saw the mirror on the wall. I slowly breathed and kept my head low as I walked over to the sink. I cupped some water in my hands and splashed it on my face. I dragged my hands down and looked in the sink.

“Crystal…” something whispered. I was the only person in the bathroom and I knew that. Just one look and that all it takes. Maybe I can cure myself. I looked up, but instead of the usual in the mirror, my own reflection and then the hands, I immediately saw the hand. My heart beating faster, my breath become short, feeling scared, panic, all too familiar. I couldn't look away and it all felt so real.

I swallowed my fear and reached out. I reached out and touched the mirror. But my skin didn’t meet the cold glass. Instead my hand went further in the mirror and I was entered into a black abyss.

~

I opened my eyes. I could barely see. It was black all around me. The only thing illuminated were the two figures in front me. I stood from where I was laying on the cold hard floor. The usual lonely feeling in the dark was masked by the sense of home. I felt safe and the slightest bit terrified.

I folded my arms and shook the fear away from me, trying to appear as strong as I felt, “Who are you? And what’s going on?” I asked.

“We’re your friends. We’re here to help,” they both spoke in unison, their voices dark and deep. The two were taller than me and they began to step towards me, towering over me. I stepped back and trembled, they didn't know me, how could they and how did I get here?

“You’re not my friends! I don’t know you!” I yelled.

The one on the right chuckled and shook his head, “Crystal, you weren’t always so native.” His cackle was more of a witches or hyena and his head turned toward me, making me turn cold. Always? He didn't know me, whatever this thing was.

“I want to go home," I trembled. If they lied to me the lease they could do was show their faces, or lie to me in my own home and not a dark place.

But now the one on the left spoke, “But, Crystal sweetie, you are home now. And the fun has only just begun….”