Happiness For A Pessimist

Everyone sat around a table staring down each other. I gripped John's hand from under the table and stared down at the table top. "We all need to talk." Jared spoke up bringing everyone to his attention. "About Haven." he elaborated. "And John." he added.

"There's nothing to know." John said.

I bite my lip and continued to stare a the table, holding back the tears. "Y-yes there is." I whispered. I finally glanced up to everyone, wiping my tears away. "There's a lot to know."

"Tell us." Kennedy whispered.

"What are you doing?" John asked, his eye narrowing down at me.

"I'm telling them what they want to know." I said.

His face turned bright red, he stood up knocking the chair down. He glared down at me, "Fuck you." he sneered before storming out the room.

I stared at the spot where John once stood, I could feel the tears bubbling up and spilling over. "I-I h-have to g-go." I whispered before running out the house.

This isn't what was suppose to happen, he was suppose to love me and want to tell our friends about us. I let out a loud sob and curled up into my covers, why must there always be something to tear us apart?

"Haven?" My dad asked entering my room. "Haven what's wrong?" he panicked.

I shook my head and sat up wiping my eyes, "It's fine dad." I whispered giving him a smile. "Sorry to worry you."

Dad stared at me momentarily before nodding at me softly, "I need to go out for a few hours, will you be fine alone?" dad asked.

I nodded and gave dad a smile, "Where are you going?" I asked softly holding my pillow close to my chest.

"I'm going to make amends with your grandparents." dad said. "I want to fix some things before we bring them here for Christmas."

I nodded and gave dad a smile and watched as he left my room. I stayed in the silent room listening to the rain drops hit my window. My mind drifted to John and my chest sudden hurt so bad, I held back the tears and rushed into my bathroom,

I threw open drawers and threw things about before finding what I needed. I stared at the razor in my hand and rested against the bath tub. I pressed it to my scarred wrist and dragged it along. Blood bubbled up to the surface and began to spill over the cut falling down my wrist and hitting the floor,

More blood began to pour out, more and more until I was bleeding out blood. I stared down with fascination as my eyes grew heavier. Suddenly I can here voice, their words slurred together but I could hear the panic in it. I forced my eyes open and looked up to the person that had their arms wrapped tightly around my torso.

Garrett.

"Come on, stay with me Haven." he begged holding back tears. "Please Haven please." he pleaded.

I opened my mouth to say something but processing words was much to complex. I felt my eye grow heavier to the point I couldn't even keep the open.

The last thing I remember is seeing Garrett's panic face before slipping into oblivion.