Happiness For A Pessimist

Garrett helped put all my things into a bag as I sat on the edge of the hospital bed. I was already dressed in my regular clothes and ready to get out of this hospital. Thanks to my dad they won't be sending me to a mental ward like the law states, but instead I have to go to therapy every other day.

"Ready?" Garrett asked throwing my bag over his shoulder. I nodded and stood up trailed after Garrett, out the hospital and to his car. "Everyone's excited to see you." Garrett said as we drove to his house. "especially John."

"I don't want to talk to him." I whispered staring down at the bandage wrapped tightly around my wrist.

"Why not? You guys are like the best of friends." Garrett said.

"He said some stuff." I mumbled.

"Did he say stuff that made you do this?" Garrett asked gesturing to my arm.

"I guess."

"Maybe John wasn't thinking straight and didn't mean any of it."

"He did." I whispered. I took a deep breath and glanced over to Garrett. "Can I tell you something?" I asked. Garrett nodded curtly. "Ok so um. John and I are um."

"You guys are dating right?" Garrett guessed. "Because everyone knows that, well expect Pat, the kid's completely clueless." he chuckled.

"So everyone knows?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yeah totally. We came to that conclusion like a few weeks ago. Miles didn't want to believe it, but whatever." Garrett shrugged pulling into the driveway of his house. "And we haven't seen John in days, do you know what happened?"

"We got into a fight." I whispered. "I don't want to see him."

"What did you guys fight about?" Garrett asked turning his car off and facing me.

"I-I wanted to tell you guys, that we're together but he doesn't want to." I whispered feeling the tears well up. "Is he ashamed of me?" I cried looking up to Garrett.

Garrett unbuckled himself and scooted closer to me. He pulled me into his arms and let me cry on him. "He's not ashamed of you."

I glanced up to him and sighed before pulling away. "Sorry." I whispered.

"You know what, I'm taking you to John's house and you guys are going to fix this." Garrett said starting the car again.

"No! I can't go there," I shirked holding onto Garrett's arm. "Please don't make me go." I begged as he drove pass neighborhoods nearing John's house.

"Sorry but I don't want you guys to avoid this, you need to fix this."

I chewed on my lip and fell back into my seat. I watched as we passed by familiar homes until he pulled into John's driveway. Garrett hurried out the car and reached for my hand before pulling me out the car. He took me into John's house and up the staircase before pushing me into his bedroom and closing the door.

"You don't get out until everything is settled." Garrett said.

I turned around to face John and saw him sitting on his bed reading a book. He looked up to me with sadden eyes, "What are you doing here?" he asked his voice barely a whisper.

"G-Garrett made me come."

"So if it wasn't for Garrett, you wouldn't of come?" John asked.

"Did you hurt yourself again?" I asked steering completely off topic. John shrugged and collapsed onto his bed.

"I get why you do it." he mumbled. "It gets your mind off things, it stops the pain even for a little while. It's like a high." he whispered his fingers tracing patterns on his sheets.

I don't like this John. He's not confident, or cocky. He's not grinning or chuckling or talking. He's acting like he's miserable, like he has nothing worth living for. "What wrong with you?" I asked. "Why aren't you yourself?"

"Because I don't have you." he said looking up to me. "You don't want me no more."

"I never said that." I whispered.

"That's what it felt like." John muttered.

"I still love you John, and seeing you like this hurts me."

John snorted and glared over at me. "And it doesn't hurt me everything you cut yourself." he scoffed.

"John I'm sorry for over reacting about everything. I'm sorry for blowing it out of proportion."

John glanced up at me and sighed, "I'm sorry for hurting myself." he whispered sitting up and pulling me into his lap. "Just so you know I only did it twice after you told me not too and that was it." he whispered.

"Can I see?" I asked.

John pulled his sleeves up and held out his arms for me. I stared at the scabbing long gashes and ran my fingers on them. "Let's go to the park." I said looking up at him with a smile.

John shrugged and gave me a half smile before lying back down. "I'm not up for it." he mumbled.

"Come on lets go. Please." I begged stretching out the last word and pulling on his arm. "Pwease."

John let a smile slip and nodded, "Ok." he said giving in and getting out the bed. I shirked and threw my arms around him. "I love you." I whispered against ear.

"love you too babe."