Status: new;based on reader feedback
Happiness For A Pessimist
you don't know who i've become
I walked along the wet crowded of streets of downtown Washington. I wore only a leather jacket and a pair of jeans and I could still feel the cold seep into my body causing chills to go through me. Tonight was the only night of the week I don't whore myself out. I noticed when I do it every day my body doesn't take enough time to recover and that hurts me. So staturday nights have turned into my relaxation days.
As I walked through the crowded streets I arrived to a club that was hosting a band. Curious about it I entered the dark club lite only with small florescent lights. I walked straight to the bar and took a seat at the stool swirling around in circles over and over again. "Can you stop that." a deep voice asked. I turned to the bar and the bartender stood there with an annoyed expression. "Can I get you anything?" he asked twirling a hand towel in his hands. "A coke or something?"
"Beer." I mumbled picking at the coasters in front of me. "One please." I added. The bartender laughed dryly and shook his head. I raised an eyebrow and looked to his name tag, "One beer please Chase." I said again.
"You look no older than 18." Chase said leaning against the counter. "So I'll give you one coke, on me." he said walking away before I could object. I sighed loudly and began to turn around in my seat so that I was facing the stage. There were tons of girls here which gave me the impression that a boy band would be performing. It also must be the reason they aren't selling alcohol.
"Here's your coke kid." Chase said placing my drink on the coaster.
"Hey Chase." I called just as he turned away. I could hear him sigh loudly before turning back to me. I smiled at him before whispering, "When do you get off?" I asked casually leaning closer to him. Chase eyed me curiously, "What makes you think I want to hang out with you."
I shrugged and took a small sip of he coke tasting a small hint of vodka. "You spiked my drink, did you not?" I asked smirking. Chase blushed lightly proving he was guilty. "What, do you want to drug me and have your way with me?" I asked. "Because I would love that." I whispered quietly.
Chase visibly shuddered and I could tell I had him right where I want him. "Meet me here 5 minutes before closing time." was all he said before catering to the rest of the customers. I smiled to myself before taking a few more sips of the drink.
"Hello, testing 1 2 3. Hey everyone how's it going?" just the sound of that voice caused my body to grow stiff. I placed the drink down on the counter and took a deep breath. This can't be them, this can't be him. Taking another shaky deep breath I turned around to face the stage, only to see none other than John O'Callaghan standing in front of the mic.
It's weird how much four years can change a person. I bit my lip and hopped off the stool slowly making my way toward the front of the stage. It was difficult to get passed all the screaming girls but my mind was set on coming face to face with John.
"How about we start off the night with a song I'm sure we all know." John smiled. Seconds later the intro to Inside of You was sounding through the venue. I paused half way through crowd and just admired how perfect John looked on stage. His lightly tanned skin was glistering with a thin layer of sweat and his neck was pulsing as he sang the lyrics with such soul.
I continued my way to the front of the stage pushing aside girls until I was there, right in front of John. His eyes scanned the crowd finally falling on me, his eyes lingering there for a moment as if he was trying to make out who I was in his memory. It took him awhile as he studied my face, but quietly almost unspoken he whispered, "Haven."
I blinked a few times bringing me out of my trance and glared at John. He did the same before finishing the song and smiling out toward the audience. I quickly turned away from John and headed back to the bar were I know I'd find Chase. He was standing by the bar drinking a coke when I marched over to him and pulled him to me, "I want you now." I whispered against his ear.
"Couldn't wait?" he murmured kissing my neck slightly. I moaned lightly and grabbed his hand leading him into the bathroom, not daring to look back to the stage knowing John was looking right at me.
I sat outside the small club sitting on the steps. My body was shaking with cold as I stared at the empty street. All the girls were gone, all the staff had left and now I was sitting out here thinking about all that happened tonight. I could feel my lips tremble as tears began to build up, what had I done? I just showed John what kind of person I've become, having sex with random guys in dirty club bathrooms.
"H-Haven is that you?"
I looked up to John and felt all the tears cascade down my cheeks. Without much of a second thought I threw myself to him holding onto him tightly. "J-John." I whimpered holding at him tightly. "J-John." I whispered again looking up to him just slightly.
"Come on Haven. "John whispered wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up. He carried me around town holding me tightly before arriving to a nice looking hotel. "The guys are waiting for me." he whispered holding me tightly.
We got to the hotel and John took me up to his room. "I need to put you down Haven, can you stand?" I nodded weakly as John set me on the ground. My legs were slightly shaky but I was able to keep myself steady. John pushed open the door and allowed me in.
"John I told you not to bring any sluts home." I could hear Kennedy call from somewhere in the hotel. I cringed slightly at the comment Kennedy said, no one knew what person I've become but that doesn't change the things I've done.
"Who's that?" Garrett questioned staring at me curiously.
"Hi Gare bear." I whispered waving shyly at him. It took him awhile but he finally realized who I was. His face turned into one of pure shock as he whispered,
"Haven?"
As I walked through the crowded streets I arrived to a club that was hosting a band. Curious about it I entered the dark club lite only with small florescent lights. I walked straight to the bar and took a seat at the stool swirling around in circles over and over again. "Can you stop that." a deep voice asked. I turned to the bar and the bartender stood there with an annoyed expression. "Can I get you anything?" he asked twirling a hand towel in his hands. "A coke or something?"
"Beer." I mumbled picking at the coasters in front of me. "One please." I added. The bartender laughed dryly and shook his head. I raised an eyebrow and looked to his name tag, "One beer please Chase." I said again.
"You look no older than 18." Chase said leaning against the counter. "So I'll give you one coke, on me." he said walking away before I could object. I sighed loudly and began to turn around in my seat so that I was facing the stage. There were tons of girls here which gave me the impression that a boy band would be performing. It also must be the reason they aren't selling alcohol.
"Here's your coke kid." Chase said placing my drink on the coaster.
"Hey Chase." I called just as he turned away. I could hear him sigh loudly before turning back to me. I smiled at him before whispering, "When do you get off?" I asked casually leaning closer to him. Chase eyed me curiously, "What makes you think I want to hang out with you."
I shrugged and took a small sip of he coke tasting a small hint of vodka. "You spiked my drink, did you not?" I asked smirking. Chase blushed lightly proving he was guilty. "What, do you want to drug me and have your way with me?" I asked. "Because I would love that." I whispered quietly.
Chase visibly shuddered and I could tell I had him right where I want him. "Meet me here 5 minutes before closing time." was all he said before catering to the rest of the customers. I smiled to myself before taking a few more sips of the drink.
"Hello, testing 1 2 3. Hey everyone how's it going?" just the sound of that voice caused my body to grow stiff. I placed the drink down on the counter and took a deep breath. This can't be them, this can't be him. Taking another shaky deep breath I turned around to face the stage, only to see none other than John O'Callaghan standing in front of the mic.
It's weird how much four years can change a person. I bit my lip and hopped off the stool slowly making my way toward the front of the stage. It was difficult to get passed all the screaming girls but my mind was set on coming face to face with John.
"How about we start off the night with a song I'm sure we all know." John smiled. Seconds later the intro to Inside of You was sounding through the venue. I paused half way through crowd and just admired how perfect John looked on stage. His lightly tanned skin was glistering with a thin layer of sweat and his neck was pulsing as he sang the lyrics with such soul.
I continued my way to the front of the stage pushing aside girls until I was there, right in front of John. His eyes scanned the crowd finally falling on me, his eyes lingering there for a moment as if he was trying to make out who I was in his memory. It took him awhile as he studied my face, but quietly almost unspoken he whispered, "Haven."
I blinked a few times bringing me out of my trance and glared at John. He did the same before finishing the song and smiling out toward the audience. I quickly turned away from John and headed back to the bar were I know I'd find Chase. He was standing by the bar drinking a coke when I marched over to him and pulled him to me, "I want you now." I whispered against his ear.
"Couldn't wait?" he murmured kissing my neck slightly. I moaned lightly and grabbed his hand leading him into the bathroom, not daring to look back to the stage knowing John was looking right at me.
[] [] []
I sat outside the small club sitting on the steps. My body was shaking with cold as I stared at the empty street. All the girls were gone, all the staff had left and now I was sitting out here thinking about all that happened tonight. I could feel my lips tremble as tears began to build up, what had I done? I just showed John what kind of person I've become, having sex with random guys in dirty club bathrooms.
"H-Haven is that you?"
I looked up to John and felt all the tears cascade down my cheeks. Without much of a second thought I threw myself to him holding onto him tightly. "J-John." I whimpered holding at him tightly. "J-John." I whispered again looking up to him just slightly.
"Come on Haven. "John whispered wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up. He carried me around town holding me tightly before arriving to a nice looking hotel. "The guys are waiting for me." he whispered holding me tightly.
We got to the hotel and John took me up to his room. "I need to put you down Haven, can you stand?" I nodded weakly as John set me on the ground. My legs were slightly shaky but I was able to keep myself steady. John pushed open the door and allowed me in.
"John I told you not to bring any sluts home." I could hear Kennedy call from somewhere in the hotel. I cringed slightly at the comment Kennedy said, no one knew what person I've become but that doesn't change the things I've done.
"Who's that?" Garrett questioned staring at me curiously.
"Hi Gare bear." I whispered waving shyly at him. It took him awhile but he finally realized who I was. His face turned into one of pure shock as he whispered,
"Haven?"