Happiness For A Pessimist

We pulled up to John's house, the bus coming to a complete stop as everyone waited by the door. Once the bus came to a full stop everyone piled out holding the stuff and running into the house. I followed behind everyone else dragging myself along and into the house. John's mom was already hugging John and smothering the guys in hugs, then she noticed me stopping and staring at me closely. "Haven, Haven is that you!" She exclaimed running to me and hugging me tightly. "Look how much you've grown, my god you look handsome." she chuckled staring me up and down making me feel awkward.

"Hi." I mumbled awkwardly.

"John are you going to take Haven to visit his cousins?" John's mom asked softly as she went back into the kitchen.

"Actually I'm going to call them over." John said before looking over to me. "So you can go freshen up and when you come down they'll be here." John smiled kissing my cheek softly before lightly leading me up the stairs. I headed into John's room throwing my things on John's bed before pulling out a new change of clothes.

I took a shower feeling the water hit my tense muscle. I sighed in content before scrubbing at my skin. I was nervous, I mean why wouldn't I be nervous. I ran away five years ago, away from my cousins without even a goodbye. I turned off the water hearing the silence of the bathroom. I stepped out the shower and dressed in some skinny jeans and band tee. I ran my fingers through my damp hair before heading down stairs. I could hear talking from the living room and stopped at the end of the stairs listening to the conversation.

"Why are we here John, we hardly talked in the past years and suddenly we're here." Miles mumbled and I could almost picture him not giving a fuck.

"I'm leaving." Noel said and soon he was standing there, right in front of me. He glanced to me and turned away about ready to leave until it hit him. He turned to me, his mouth slightly open as he walked to me reaching to touch me. "H-Haven." he whispered.

Noel look so much more different yet he looked the same. He took out all his piercings and cut his hair. He cleaned up a lot as well looking more classy. Soon Miles was standing there as well staring at me with wide eyes. "Holy shit dude." Miles said a smile slipping onto his lips. He ran to me tackling me into a hug, "Fuck dude you look like a fucking model." Miles laughed still hugging me and refusing to let me go. "Seriously where hell did my little fun size Haven go?"

"He grew up." I mumbled looking over to Noel who still couldn't even get over the initial shock.

"Dude you look so different. Are these tattoos since when did you like tattoos?" Miles asked grabbing my arm and examining the tattoos, he flipped my arm over exposing my healing scars. My arm was covered in pink and red cuts and scars starting from my wrist and reaching to my elbow, even up to my shoulder.

"You never stopped." Noel finally said looking at me with sad eyes.

"Things happened, guys. Really bad things. And I resorted to really bad things." I said.

"Like what?"

"Maybe we should sit." I mumbled leading them to the living where John was no longer sitting. I told them everything that's happened to me these past years starting with my abusive ex and the prostitution I did. It made them cry, it made them scream, it made them mad but at the end they hugged me and told me they'd never let me go.



I laid in bed watching as John came into the bedroom, a towel hanging lowly on his hips. "How did things go with your cousins?" John asked as he dropped his towel and slipped on a pair of boxers.

"Good. Perfect." I whispered still watching him.

John smiled and crawled into bed with me wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing me closer to him. "The house is empty." John whispered against my ear.

I looked to him with a smile before crawling over so I was straddling his hips. I leaned down and kissed his lips softly before running my tongue over his bottom lip. "Are you sure you want this?" John asked softly as I sucked on his collar bone.

"Yes." I whispered.

John rolled over so now he was straddling me he smiled and tugged on my boxers pulling them down and leaving me completely exposed to him. I felt self-conscious and squirmed under John not wanting him to look at me. "Haven you're beautiful." John whispered kissing me lightly as he disposed of his boxers as well.

"So are you." I whispered running my hands down his chest.

That night John showed me what it was like to make love. He showed me what it was like to feel good, to feel perfect and whole.