Happiness For A Pessimist

I sat next to Miles on his bed as we watched re-runs of Adventure time. I stared at the screen picking at the sheet beneath me as Miles lays next to me strumming softly on his guitar. This is usually how we spend our Friday nights, just hanging around watching t.v.

We have nothing else to do, no parties to go to. No people to see. I glanced over to Miles staring at him as he watched the t.v with intensity. I giggled softly and reached for a pillow clutching it to my chest.

“I hate the Ice King.” Miles muttered glaring at the screen.

“He just wants to be happy.” I giggled looking up to him.

“Whatever.” Miles mumbled still playing songs softly on his guitar. “Anyway Noel’s going to a party tomorrow night, some of his old high school friends are coming back.” He said playing a Nirvana song on his guitar.

“R-really?” I asked.

“Yeah, he’s taking us with him. So I just thought I warn you.”

I bit my lip and turned my attention back to the t.v screen. Noel only had a few friends back in high school, those friends being none other than The Maine.

That means John will be there.

Saturday morning came by quicker than I wanted it to. Next thing I knew I was following Noel out of his car and into the small home where the party would be hosted. I walked up the pathway staring at all the beer cans and red cups littering the front lawn. Inside the house I can hear pop music blasting through the speakers and I kinda feel bad for the neighbor’s that have to endure listening to this shitty music almost all night.

“Ok so no drinking and no drugs, especially you Haven.” Noel said pointing directly at me.

Miles snickered at me in a mocking way but Noel caught him and hit him upside the head,
“That goes for you too.” He said.

I giggled mocking him now until we were interrupted by someone calling Noel’s named followed by someone jumping on top of him. I stepped back watching as the guy hugged the life out of Noel, “Noel I missed you.” He giggled getting off Noel and helping him to his feet.
Pat stood next to Noel with the biggest smile ever. I could feel myself getting nervous, that means John’s here. Well of course he’s here; I mean this is his welcome home party.

“Pat you remember my brother Miles and my cousin Haven.” Noel said lightly punching me. I quickly looked to Pat and smiled waving awkwardly. “Oh yeah, of course.” He said giving Miles and I one of those odd man hug things.

Soon the rest of the band came over to us. I scanned the new group of people not finding
John, but the party’s only started.

“Haven you look so different.” Kennedy said patting my back roughly causing me to stumble forward a bit. “Definitely got skinner, maybe even shorter.” He laughed.

“I’ve always been scrawny and short.” I defended crossing my arms over my chest.

“You must have missed John considering you guys were connected by the hip.” Garrett said pushing Kennedy away softly.

I bite my lip and looked down to the floor. I did miss John, but did I want to see him right now? No. “I’m fine; I’ll s-see him later.” I assured the guys waving it off as nothing.

Slowly everyone began to scattered about doing their own thing and I was left alone standing awkwardly in the middling of the kitchen. I sighed and started at the plastic cup sitting on the counter debating whether I should drink it or not, maybe just one little sip.

But alcohol’s bad, I’ve seen my dad when he drinks it. He’s the violent drunks and takes his anger out on me. What if I’m just like my dad, I don’t want to be like him.

I reached for the cup and stared down at the brownish substance in the cup. I sniffed it and scrunched my nose up, maybe I shouldn’t drink it.

“You look to young to be drinking.” A voice spoke up. I quickly looked up and stared at the man before me.

It was John.

“How old are you? Like 12?” he laughed pouring some alcohol into his cup. The blonde girl next to him began to laugh.

“H-hi John.” I whispered shyly putting the cup down.

“Do I know you?” he asked staring deep into my eyes. “Nope not at all.” He laughed taking a drink from his cup.

I felt my heart shatter, he doesn’t even remember me. “J-John, it’s me.” I mumbled staring at him with tears in my eyes. “I’m Haven.” I added trying not to sob.

He continued to stare at me as though I was a madman. “Sorry kid but I don’t know you.” He shrugged turning his full attention back to the girl attached at his hip.

I bite my lip pushing past them as I ran out the kitchen so they wouldn’t see me crying.

“Haven!” Miles called stumbling over to me with a red cup in his hands. He swung his arm over my shoulders smiling widely. “Why are you crying?” he asked and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

I shrugged him off wiping at my eyes, “I’m going home.” I whispered.

“Why? The party just started.” He yelled and the crowd cheered back. I rolled my eyes and pushed past him heading out the front door and walking toward my house. I knew it was late and if my father caught me sneaking in at this time he’d beat me to a bloody pulp.

I arrived home and silently slipping inside hoping my father is either asleep or too drunk to process anything. The second I take a step onto the stair case I’m pulled back by hair. I cried in pain and fell onto the hardwood floor looking up to my father.

“Where were you?” he screamed picking me up by the hair. “Out whoring yourself out?” He hissed.

“W-what?!” I stuttered in shock. “No.” I screamed shaking my head. But he didn’t like my answer and he threw me down onto the floor. I could feel my head bounce off the hardwood floor followed by my father kicking me repeatedly.

“Your ungrateful slut.” He screamed getting in one last kick before bringing me up to my feet.

He threw me toward the stairs. I quickly ran up the steps ignoring the pain shooting
throughout my body. I slammed my door shut and made my way to my bed crawling under the covers and began to cry silently.

My whole body ached with pain; even breathing was hurting my ribs. Dad probably broke my already healing ribs again. I could feel tears leaking out of eyes and I quickly wiped them away curling into a small ball and counting to ten.

By the time I reached 8 I could feel my eye lids growing heavier and I couldn’t battle to keep them open any longer.