Other Side of the World

“Are you okay?” Nathan asked, setting the flowers on a nearby table. When Haley didn’t answer, he turned around just to see her staring out the window he stared out so much, with the same absent-minded gaze he probably had – it was kind of daunting. He repeated his question several times before getting her attention.

She shrugged and sighed. “Things will get better, I hope,” she answered, fiddling with her fingers. She appeared to be uncomfortable to be back sitting on his hospital bed again. As if he was another thing on her list to incessantly worry about. Nathan smiled a little. She should really stop caring too much if she couldn’t handle it. He walked back to the bed and sat next to his girlfriend.

“Want to talk about it?” He said, his arm went around her shoulder as he pulled her closer. She nuzzled against the crook of his neck. Nathan mentally sighed in relief. Well, this felt familiar. She felt familiar. It was good – it meant that he hadn’t lost her yet.

“Mm,” she murmured softly. Haley then started to talk about how she had been staying in her dad’s house, about how she was unsure of everything – why she was so depressed over someone she barely knew being dead – and the fact that Belle hasn’t answered her calls ever since. Everything, really.

“She’s probably the type of person that needs time to herself for a long time to figure things out, Haley,” Nathan said after she finished. “And know him well enough or not, it doesn’t matter. Someone in your life died, you need some time to digest that info too.”

“I know,” Haley said, wiping her tears away before letting out a grunt. “Gosh, I’ve been doing nothing but cry lately, damn it!”

“And it wasn’t a natural death you know. He lost a lot of blood. He happened to have been losing that blood in front of you guys. I mean, if I saw my friend bled to death in front of me, I don’t think I can manage it. You’ll move on, the both of you.”

“But what if I don’t want to move on? What if, if I move on, I’d forget about him?”

“The problem here is, Haley, you’re thinking like a pessimist,” he said, winking. “If you don’t want to move on then you’d be stuck in this miserable, idle state for as long as you allow it to. You have a future Haley, don’t piss it away by allowing your emotions get the best of you. And you won’t forget about him, obviously his life has made an impact on you,” he continued, “and I’m not asking you to forget about Liam. I’m asking you to remember the good memories instead of the bad ones.”

Silence.

“Aren’t you always the one telling me to effing look at the bright side in every dark moments? God, Haley,” Nathan said, sounding truly appalled that Haley couldn’t help it but laugh. Nathan held her chin and gave her a long kiss on the lips when she was in the middle of chuckling.

When he broke away, his lips were still mere centimeters away from hers as he gazed into her eyes. “And about the other thing…” he trailed off. Haley tilted her head slightly in curiosity. “I really do love you, you know that? I know it sounded forced when I left, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just…not used to…being this close to someone.”

Vulnerable was the word he would use but there was no way in hell that he’d be able to say that without wanting to die of embarrassment.

She chuckled again. “I get it. You’re like a little sweet puppy to me and to everyone else you’re like a…” she trailed off, playfully tapping her chin as if she was deep in thought. “A wild boar on a rampage.”

“Seriously? Wild boar? Seriously?” He said.

Haley smiled. Gosh, she felt happy. She was almost afraid she had forgotten how ‘happy’ felt like. Trust Nathan to knock some sense into her. She gave him a peck on the lips after another. When did their roles changed, she wondered?

When he fell on the bed, bringing Haley on top of him as he continued to leave trail of kisses on her neck, she saw something on the bedside table. It was a bunch of official looking documents with Nathan’s handwriting scrawled across them. She squinted to read the letterhead.

“It’s…actually quite offending that you’re not paying attention to me right now,” Nathan said, feigning a hurt expression. Haley snorted in laughter at his sudden childishness before motioning towards the documents casually. “University applications? You’re applying?”

“Is there any reason why I shouldn’t?” Nathan said, raising his eyebrow. Haley shook her head. “No, it’s just…well, it’s just…” she stammered slightly, at loss for words. Nathan’s playful expression turned serious when he realized what she wanted to say.

“It’s just that we haven’t talked about our future,” he finished. “It’s because you and I are so caught up with the thought and fear of me dying. It’s because you wanted me to live my best, in the present. Or maybe, it’s because you thought I was going to die first before I could ever live a college life?”

“Well when you put it that way…” Haley said, grimacing as she tried to push herself off of him, but his fingers were clasped around her wrists as soon as she wanted to go away.

“You know, pneumothorax doesn’t need this long of a hospital stay,” he said.

“Then, what are you doing here?” Haley asked.

“They decided that my lungs were so…useless, that they decided to keep me here a little longer.”

“Oh,” Haley said, still with a frown on her face. Suddenly she felt really upset again. Life wasn’t as peachy as she thought it was, that much was for sure. Apart from everything else, her boyfriend was still…a sickly person.

“You’re going to cry again?”

“I know!” She exclaimed angrily, sniffing and wiping away her tears that had formed in her eyes. “I’m just a mess lately and it’s pissing me off! And I love you, damn it, it’s not fair! There, I said it. It’s not fair. And I’m scared. I thought I was ready, but I wasn’t. I’m not ready to lose someone else in my life,” she said, sobbing. “And even in my most optimistic moments I can’t help it but be scared to death that you’re going to…that there’s…I just hate this, alright?” She said.

Nathan sighed and hugged her tightly. “Haley, stop it,” he whispered, his own voice shaky. Gosh, if he were to know that Haley felt like this all this time…

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as Haley continued sobbing on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry to make you worried,” he said. “I’m sorry that I made you think that the both of us only had the present and not the future, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you even apologizing, it’s not even your fault,” she said, pulling away from his embrace as she wiped her tears away vigorously. Nathan placed his hand on her flushed cheek, wiping a tear that fell from her eye. His other hand took hers and clenched it tightly.

Haley panicked. Why was he being like that? Was he in the hospital for this long because his lungs couldn’t handle it anymore? She nearly hyperventilated due to the anticipation.

“There’s something else I haven’t told you, about why I’m staying in the hospital for this long,” he said.

She shook her head vigorously. “No, no. Don’t tell me, let’s just have fun instead. Let’s go out on a date. Let’s skydive. I always wanted to try that.”

“I know right, that would be so awesome.”

“Right?!” Haley said in panicked agreement. Nathan burst out laughing.

“Why are you laughing, this is serious!” Haley said.

“Haley, sweetheart,” he said in-between laughs. When his laughter finally died down, his fingers intertwined with hers for reassurance. Her eyes begged her to not tell. Nathan felt a warm feeling, compassion probably, ignited in his heart when he looked at her.

“I’m going to get new lungs.”

“What?” She choked out, her eyes widened in disbelief. He smiled before laughing again. He felt happy.

“Haley, I’m going to live. We’re going to have a future.”