Terra Firma

Ivy

She burst into my room like a grey cloud filled with sun that night, cheeks pigmented with a rush of pink color and the white hands clapping excitably. I couldn't help but smile as she took my own painted-nails between her neatly clipped clean ones and practically sang the words:

"We're free!"

I jumped from my wilted position against the wall, surrounded by plants shifting in my worry and frustration, and simply hugged her, laughing.

Homer

Today was the day.

I could smell it.

Gordon's dad was about to head out of the door as I sat on the steps.

"You always up this early?"

"Sometimes. Today I'm just nervous."

"Why's that?"

"Something awful is going to happen. At school."

He frowned slightly, "Now, what makes you say that?"

"It's nothing. Have a nice day at work, Mr. Gordon."

He laughed a hollow laugh.

Cosette

In the old days, Happy began sleeping outside of my door after the "bottle" incident. I remember waking up to go to the bathroom in my sleepiness, slightly afraid and uneasy with The Joker being gone, and tripping over some mass of boy outside of my doorway. I remember turning and seeing Happy there, confused and blinking. He mumbled a good morning and I'd gotten up, scampering off to the bathroom.

When I woke up on that particular morning, I stood in the doorway for a few minutes, instinctively wrapping my robe tighter around me and staring. His back was facing me, the breathing mechanic. My eyes stared glued to a crudely done tattoo on his upper shoulder, displaying a snake biting into his own flesh. Underneath the chilling picture, were some latin words.

Gordon

"We found this. It was on Joe's desk..."

My eyebrows snapped together. Joe was on leave...

Nemo me impune lacessit

"Nemo me impune lacessit... What..."

"I know what that means."

I turned, eyeing the handcuffed girl with scrutiny. She was young, it seemed--but we responded to the domestic disturbance call last night and brought her in, because she'd beat her abusive boyfriend to a bloody pulp... and we feared if we ignored the situation we'd wind up with another murder. We had enough of those.

"I decided I'd listen to Poison Ivy today." She'd smiled awfully at me as we pushed her into the car.

Now she was smiling even bigger, waving wild hands over to where she was standing. Her eyes were brown, her hair messy. Her frame was skinny like a little tree and she was quite tall.

I paced over to her, but not too close.

"Nemo me impune lacessit... It means "no one attacks me with impunity." It sounds like the motto from an Edgar Alan Poe story. This guy leads his supposed friend down to a cellar and traps him there after an undisclosed insult."

I blinked.

"I paid attention in english class, you know? Impunity means free from punishment. Basically. So maybe he feels wronged, wants to get back at somebody. Pretty weird he'd make that allusion, it's been a long time since I read that... back in school..."

"School." I whispered.

I silently thanked her, but didn't vocalize it.

Once you started thanking them, you were one step closer to them.

Cosette

He moved and I jumped, looking dumbly on like a hypnotist's victim as the muscles in his skinny body shifted and he got up, yawning. He rubbed his forever tired eyes and frowned at me, pretentious nose hoisted in the air.

No good morning reached my ears.

"I am running a few errands today." He smoothly, "You'll stay here."

"What kind of errands?" I asked plainly.

"They don't concern you. Just stay here, and you can stay alive. Think of how awful your Mother would feel, if I had to tell her you were dead."

"...If you'd have to tell her?"

He just smiled, limping strangely down the hall.

I took the opportunity as he turned away.

I headed down to his office, focused only on gleaming white doors, tempting me in my mind.

I never said I was an angel.

Riddler

The intial attraction in the woman's eyes was something I fed off of. Played with. Enjoyed.

I winked and she smiled.

"And what can I do for you today, sir?"

"Yes, ah, I was wondering... Could you fill these two bags with money for me?"

The flirtatious smile was replaced by a dumb, vacant look, "...What?"

"You heard me. Money. Bags. Now."

She looked around startled. A few of the men I'd snagged from Two-Face paraded in, flaunting guns. The woman, dumb and stupid, but smart enough--took it as a cue to take the bags I'd handed over.

"Quickly, my dear." I smiled, yelling at angrily her when she tried filling them with bills.

Two-Face

The girl

(Rachel)

returned to my office the next morning, a new glow about her. I couldn't help but feel pained by it. Pained by the fact that she would be so happy without me.

I cleared my throat, "I have... a book."

"A book?"

"Yes." I said, reaching into a drawer to bring it out for her, "I think it belongs to you...."

I threw the ancient thing across the table. She stared at it as if it were a slap to her face, waking her up. Finally, she spoke:

"It's not mine. It's my friend's."

"Your friend's...?" I stood.

"Yes..." She sighed, "I need to find her. I have no idea what's going on, no idea where Jay--geez, I don't even know if she's alive." She gave a small outward laugh but I could sense tears behind it.

What had I done?

(who cares you can keep her bribe her)

The dark half in me caused me to move suddenly to her and she visibly jumped. I took her by the shoulders.

"Your friend. Your best friend."

She nodded, wary and fear displayed on her face plainly.

"She had this book and you were in the apartment--so it's hers!"

"Yes, Harvey... what..."

"Well, what if I told you that I know whe--"

A knock on the door broke my train of thought. Two sharp rapping noises too loud to be knuckles, and I knew exactly who it was. My good brow snapped in surprise and slight annoyance, and I let go of the girl's shoulders.

"One moment."

I opened the door to see his smart little face.

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"To talk." He looked contemplative for a second, "Do you know where Cosette's gone?"

"No..."

"Ah well. Look," He said in a low voice, "A friend of mine is bringing someone to help with a ...special project..."

"What special project?"

"You know that nightclub Penguin wanted?"

"Of course."

"Well.. I'm turning into something special for... a guest or two."

I raised my good eyebrow, "So? You do whatever you want, I'll babysit this guy for you."

He nodded twice, then beamed, "Alright. Well, old friend, I'll be going now. Got a bat to catch and a Queen to tie up."

I nodded, almost turning, then stopped, keeping the door partially open, not seeing what he was holding out of my sight.

"Wait..." I snapped, "You're not doing anything to... Ivy, are you?"

His eyes shifted in his skull.

"No, no, no. You can't do that! You can't mess with the woman! All I wanted was answers I don't want you to treat her like--"

"Listen here buddy, I don't need you to tell me how to treat a woman. I've dealt with plenty."

"Psh. Not in the way you'd want to..."

"SHUT UP."

I turned swiftly. The girl was staring strangely at the voice behind the door.

When I turned back, the little snake was leaving.

"Wait." I called, reaching into my pocket and pulling out my weight of justice. I couldn't let him do this. I needed a chance.

"Yes old friend?"

"Let's flip a coin."

He smiled as if it were some cue.

"Sure. I'll flip a coin. I'll flip a coin..."

He budged the door open, revealing two large bags that jingled as he swung his cane against them like an expert golfer, sending waves of shining coins into the room. I was so startled I dropped my own, and it went spinning, molding into the glistening mass like a terrible peice of art.

I screamed, falling to my knees, hands automatically grasping blindly in the mess spilling on my floor.

"There's always a weakness, isn't there?" I heard him cackle darkly as his cane resounded off the walls. I had the right to kill him. I would've.

But all I wanted was my coin back.

Ivy

"I loooo..."

I sighed at my reflection, frustrated.

I was going to tell him. I'd promised myself that. I'd come to this resolution when I woke up at dawn, had been trying for countless hours secretly, messing with my hair out of habit while reciting three things I could not seem to spit out. I tried. I really did. But everytime I came close a lump grew or my tongue did a flip or my jaw bone froze.

"What I'm trying to say is... Jack..."

"I've always really..."

"Liked the way you..."

Can you imagine? I'd called this guy partner for years, didn't even have the strength to say the words preteens could spew out in two days.

"I lo..."

"Having trouble, friend?"

I turned to see the snake dressed in green at my door, brandishing a gun. I instantly stood at full height, putting my defiant hands on their rightful perch--my hips.

"Ah. Come back to threaten me?"

"Aren't you embarrassed? I've been standing here the entire time." He smiled charmingly.

"Me? Embarrassed? For someone so smart, that's a dumb question."

He shrugged.

"So what do I owe the privilege of your ugly face showing up?"

"FYI: I have the prettiest face of all these villians..." He seemed inflamed for a moment, but recovered and gestured with his gun, "Anyway. You know what's coming."

"I may be a plant lady, but I'm not psychic."

He sighed, as if I were an idiot for not knowing what scheme was swimming in his head.

But I'm not stupid, he'd figure that out in the next few hours.

"You're going to star in my next ...ah... stunt, if you will."

"You've got to be kidding." I made a face.

"Afraid not. Now, since you seem to be immune to everything I've got in my pockets, you'll be following me quietly. If not, I'll pump so many bullets into you he won't ever hear that pretty voice of yours say those words. Ever."

I raised my eyebrows. His game show host voice was light-hearted, but his dark eyes, like sharpened black pencil points, were severe and serious.

I held my head high and walk out of the door, making him skip with that little cane to keep up.

He could threaten me, treat me like a lowlife whore all he wanted.

But I never follow a man like him.

I lead.

Homer

I smelt flowers and stale candy as I walked solemnly to school.

I hardly blinked as the Green Fellow grabbed me up in quick hands after Gordon's son left me.

Joker

I stared at my teeth.

Clack clack clack. The bones clamping down reverberated in my mad head, sounding like skeletons dancing on a windy night.

"Ahhhhhh," I made a stupid face in the mirror.

"Grumpy." I said sharply.

"Yeah boss." His tone was impatient and he groaned, he must've messed up on a stitch.

"Do you think I should... brush my teeth?"

His little chopstick looking things dropped to the ground with a funny sound.

"You ain't serious."

I cackled wildly and he picked his old granny-ma project back up. What was he making anyways? A scarf? Panty-hose? A table cloth? All the same stuff to me.

Goofy came running in. Well not really running. Sort of a floating walk is what he had. If the guy ran, he'd be down in seconds. He was waving my old blue phone in my face.

"Boss, boss. Gambol just called me."

"Oh really? How's his Dad?"

Grumpy shot a look, Goofy looked extra-stupid. Usually I killed the really stupid ones. But Goofy was different.

"Uhm...." Goofy tried hard to process my lame joke, "He didn't say much about that, sounded kinda rough. But he did say that he's sure whatever Riddle's gonna do next, he's getting ready to do it very soon."

I pushed him roughly and Grumpy followed fast. Goofy loped behind. I bounded up the stairs to the tv room, tripping once but recovering quickly.

"OUT." I barked and the hollow insane-ys scattered too quickly. I clicked the dirty remote, not surprised to find GNN blocked. Goofy knew what to do when I was more... unstable.. than usual.

"Password's 123." He said simply.

There were cop cars outside the bank, live reporters. They were one step behind. Big flippin' surprise. I nearly laughed out of shock.

Not really.

"Eyewitnesses say he was surprisingly polite during the ordeal... even said 'thank you' as he left... Interestingly enough, he only stole two large loads of... of... coins?"

I chuckled.

Looks like Two-Face had some attachments to my lady, which Riddle-boy would have to distract him from. But that didn't matter.

"I found her. I made her. I keep her."

Batman

"Alfred?"

"Sir?"

I glanced at my watch after looking at what was going on through trusty GNN.

"The Lamborghini."

Joker

I turned, smiling, "Goofy, get my face paints. Grumpy, get the van started."

Snake wanted to play? I'd show him how a dog plays.

Ivy

I was blindfolded. Disoriented. Utterly confused.

Suspense is one ugly bitch. He had a strange thing taped to my arm and a walkie talkie strapped against me. I was slouched against a wall, hair hanging numbly in my face. I know he'd taken out the lady at the front desk.

Riddler

"Now ladies, gentlemen, and dear, dear children..." I spoke through the intercom, staring wildly into the little screens displaying all the empty hallways, all the cowering figures in classrooms, "One lucky kid has our prize! And one lucky lady that you all surely know has the task of finding it! ...Now... I have a few rules: No one calls the police. Our leading lady cannot use her special friends. And our cooperative pint-sized friend will not reveal him or herself. In fact, no one is to exit the classrooms. The instant any rules are broken, the school will go up in fireworks. Got it? Okay!"

1. 2. ....4...

"SHOWTIME." I laughed darkly, sitting back into a revolving chair and resting my feet upon the slumped back of the man once called the principal of this miniature insane asylum, now growing colder as the minutes ticked by and the liquid pooled, like a halo, slowly around his balding head.

30 minutes.