Your Claims of Love Are Falling

February Fourteenth had rolled around too quickly for CC to realize. He woke up to hear Jinxx on the phone with Sammi telling her how much he loved her. That was most definitely not something a man with a broken heart wanted to listen to. He grabbed his iPod and skimmed through to find Deadmau5.
It felt so strange to not be talking with Helena anymore. Up until two weeks ago he had spent every day talking to her with the help of his phone or with her in person. He missed her but he had been burned by her.
How she could have kept her engagement from him -or even why- was beyond his reasoning. The first time he had even tried to kiss her neck she should have said something. Helena hadn’t though, and now CC was left hurting because he had fallen in love with her.
Jinxx’s confessions of love were still audible over Deadmau5, so CC turned his iPod up louder and put a pillow over his head. The only thing he really wanted on this day was to call Helena and talk to her. He just wanted to know why she hadn’t told him about herself.
CC’s mind-just for a moment-wandered to a place that gave him a bit of hope. Maybe she hadn’t told him she was engaged because she was unsure of herself. Maybe there was another reason she kept that a secret. Maybe, just maybe she thought of CC in the same way he thought of her. But he quickly crushed that idea by thinking to himself If she even liked me at all she wouldn’t have told me like that and crushed me.
His phone buzzed under his hip and for a moment his heart lept. He wanted it to be Helena texting him. When he looked it was only a text from a friend back home asking him something irrelevant. He tossed his phone to the end of his bed and rolled over to face the wall. CC buried his face into a pillow and tried to go back to sleep.
Only moments later he felt Andy -who was in the bunk above him- get out of bed and start moving around the bus. CC pushed his headphones off and put his iPod in sleep mode before getting out of his bunk. Andy was someone to talk to and CC didn’t want to be on his own at that moment.
“Hey man, what’s going on?” Andy asked when he saw his friend roll out of the bunk.
“Nothing.” CC sighed.
CC plopped down into the booth seat where the table was and rested his head in his hands. He looked rather sullen. Andy grabbed the bagel he had finished toasting and sat down across from CC. Andy offered CC half the bagel but CC shook his head.
“What’s got you down today?” Andy asked though he had guessed it already.
“A girl.” CC said pushing a few crumbs around on the table with his finger.
“Hells?” Andy asked picking off a piece of warm bagel and popping it into his mouth.
CC nodded and let his eyes drift to look out the bus window at the passing country side. Tonight was their last show and then they were heading back home the next morning.
“I just don’t know what to think about it anymore. I don’t know what our situation is.”
“What do you mean ‘situation’?” Andy asked making air quotes, bagel still in hand.
“Kind of another term for relationship I guess.” CC shrugged waving his hand. “It’s just a situation now because I’ve done something to trigger something else that fucked it all up.”
“It ain’t your fault buddy.” Andy said taking a large bite of the half gone bagel. “Don’t blame yourself for that one.”
Jinxx walked into the front of the bus and saw there was a conversation that seemed pretty heavy between Andy and CC. Andy waved him over to have him sit down. Everyone else on the bus was still fast asleep.
“What are we talking about?” Jinxx said tentatively hoping that his appearance wouldn’t shut CC down from talking.
“Hells and CC.” Andy filled him in.
“Well what about it?” Jinxx asked looking at CC.
“She just... I don’t know. I want to talk to her more today than ever. It’s probably because I’m stupid and reading into the whole Valentine’s Day shit.” CC shrugged off the whole thing thinking that he didn’t really want to get into this conversation now.
Andy and Jinx nodded knowing what he was going through.
“How exactly do you feel about her now after you know she is engaged and after how she told you?” Jinxx asked. “You’ve had some time to process this.”
“Why would that matter?” CC asked playing with some crumbs from the bagel Andy had practically inhaled, he was pushing them into a line like the others had a organized before.
“It just does, CC.” Jinxx pushed, wanting his friend to at least talk about the way he was feeling.
They could all see how down he was over the whole situation. CC had been denying it and saying he was fine and that it didn’t matter, but they all knew better.
“I was pissed for a little while. Don’t get me wrong, I still am pissed just not as bad. She’s still the most amazing girl I’ve met and I still want her more than anyone else. She’s... she’s everything.” CC couldn’t help but smile while he thought about how she made him feel.
Jinxx took into account CC’s feelings and they way he expressed them. “CC look, if this one girl is everything to you then go for her. She isn’t married yet, she’s only agreed to marry someone. If you really feel like this about her then you can’t let her go. As soon as we get back you need to tell her how you feel. You need to make a case for yourself. I think she already doubts her engagement because of you. If you sit back and do nothing, you will lose her.”
Andy nodded in agreement. He couldn’t have said it any better. “The girl’s got a thing for you, and that’s pretty obvious.”
“I don’t know.” CC sighed. “It’s just hard. I don’t want to cause that kind of trouble. I don’t want to be the man that wrecks a relationship.”
“So you’d rather be the man that wrecks himself over a chance he never took?” Andy asked. “That’s not who you are either.”
“Besides, if she’s already doubting the relationship she’s in then there really isn’t much of one to wreck.” Jinxx added.
CC nodded. “I’ll see if she’ll talk to me tomorrow when I get back.”
“Ask her today.” Andy said firmly as he put his fist on the table, one finger pointing at CC. “Or just tell her. Either way, don’t let her get out of talking to you.”
“Thanks guys. I appreciate it.” CC was happy to have friends like them.
“Just don’t let her get away without knowing how she’s made you feel.” Jinxx said before leaving the table.
He was heading for the back of the bus to go play whatever video game Ashley happened to already be playing. He had seen Ashley get up a few moments ago while they were finishing up their conversation. Jinxx had to avoid stepping on the arm lying in the hallway that was attached to Jake. Jake had the bottom bunk was was constantly sticking one body part or another out into the hallway while he slept making himself an obstacle. More than once on the two week tour of Europe he had been woken up by someone either stepping on him or someone tripping over him.
Andy leaned back to reach the refrigerator behind him that was sitting on the counter. He grabbed two beers and passed on to CC. CC glanced at the clock on the microwave and then opened up his beer. Technically it was still morning but neither of them cared too much.
They talked about the album and the last few things that had to be done before they went on the AP Tour. Andy could sense that CC didn’t want to talk about his girl troubles any longer so he let CC steer the conversation. The two of them stayed at that little table watching the country side roll past their window thinking how lucky they were to be in a different country playing shows to their fans.
Jinxx and Ashley had been playing video games and talking about random shit that popped into their minds. Jinxx had gotten onto the subject of Sammi and started releasing all his feelings of love about her to Ashley. At first Ashley didn’t mind it at all. He enjoyed listening to when his friends were happy, but he just didn’t want to have a one sided conversation about her.
“You know, I’m glad you love her and all. I hope someday I feel that way about a nice busty blond.” Ashley said with honesty. “But Jinxx, you’re overloading my system, man. I can’t handle it.”
“Sorry, I just want everyone to know how much she means to me.” Jinxx apologized with a small smile playing at his lips.
“Again, I’m glad for you two.”
“I think I’m going to marry her.” Jinxx sighed softly to himself. “I really can’t imagine anyone else I’d want to marry.”
“Well then ask her.”
“I will. Soon, I think. I just have to get a ring and figure out how I’m going to do it.”
“At least one of us has the whole mess of dating and love figured out.” Ashley smiled. “Although, I’m having a good time with all these accents.”
Jinxx laughed. Ashley was always the same old Ashley, getting girls and living life like he was going to die any second. Too fast for love.
“What are you going to do when you get home? No accents.”
“Maybe I’ll just bring a nice girl home with me. We’ll fall in love. I’ll kiss her like an angel in the morning and love her like the devil when I get home.”
“Sounds like a good life, man.”
Ashley nodded.
“Well, really my only plans for when I get home are to go out on a ride with Helena. Have you seen her Harley?”
“Whoa, wait. Hold the phone. You have plans with Hells?” Jinxx asked spinning towards Ashley, forgetting the game they had been playing.
“Yeah. I’ve been dying to go out on a ride since I saw her bike. She’s got a 2010 Harley Softail Fat Boy Lo in a silver pearl. Real nice looking.” Ashley said without so much of a glance at Jinxx’s face, he was too busy fighting an enemy.
“Yeah, but she hasn’t been talking to any of us... except you?” Jinxx was confused.
“I thought she was only not talking to CC. Jake was on the phone with her the other day.” Ashley was now the one confused, he paused the game and dropped his controller in his lap.
“Oh, I thought she wasn’t talking to any of us so I just hadn’t been talking to her. I wonder if she talks to Andy still.”
“It sucks what she did to CC, springing that bombshell on him like that, but she’s still my friend.”
“Well maybe it wont be so hard for CC to start talking to her again then.”
“What do you mean?”
Jinxx went into explaining how CC wanted to talk to Helena again and how he wasn’t sure where they stood in their relationship. Ashley nodded but could give no relevant information when Jinxx asked if Helena had said anything about CC.
“She hasn’t said a word about him. The only time I think she tries to covertly hear about him is when she asks how ‘everyone’ is.”
“Oh, well maybe she’s a little shaken up by the incident as well. I can’t imagine her wanting him to find out like that. It was a little harsh.”
“The whole thing is a little depressing. I mean, I thought they were on their way to dating or something with the way they always hung around each other. I just feel bad for CC, he’s my brother.”
Jinxx nodded. “Things might change though.”
“Well, you are the most qualified to make predictions. You’ve got the best relationship and can tell things about people better than the rest of us.” Ashley shrugged picking up the controller that had been resting in his lap.
In a few more hours they had come to their final stop; The Lemon Grove in Exeter, UK. They were all rather busy after that with unloading, setting up, sound checking, and applying the final touches to their flaking make up.
Already fans were lined up outside the venue and the anticipation was killing the boys. It was the anticipation for playing for their fans and the anticipation of being able to return home and see their friends and loved ones again. It was hard to keep in contact overseas when roaming charges on their phones cost so much. The two weeks had been long.
Jake and Jinxx took it upon themselves to go out side of the venue and walk the line. They didn’t know how much time they would have after the show to hang out and wanted the fans to be able to meet them. There was a meet and greet happening in an hour, but they knew that not many people were going to be able to make it in.
The two walked the line and talked with fans. They signed an array of items from CD booklets to body parts. They posed for photos and shared stories of heartbreak and happiness with their fans. Before long their manager came to find them and round them up to get to the signing. Jinxx made them wait to talk to one girl who was begging just to give him letters she had written for each of the members. Jake came back to accept his letter from her in person and they took a photo with her before heading back into the venue.
Jinxx handed the other three their letters and then folded his smaller to fit in his pocket. The doors opened up and slowly fans in their war paint and Black Veil Brides t-shirts filed in. CC was having a great time being his loud self and getting shy fans to come out of their shells. A girl handed him a drawing that she had made for him and he excitedly accepted it. He ducked out to put the drawing on the bus and then ran back to thank the girl again for her drawing.
The meet and greet lasted for about forty-five minutes before the fans were filed out by security into the main concert hall. The boys collected their gifts of letters, bracelets, and art work before heading back to the bus.
Ashley began his last minute war paint touch ups while everyone else began warming up. CC was drumming on anything and everything near to him, including people. Andy started doing scales and making as many strange noises as were humanly possible for him to warm up his vocal cords. Jinxx and Jake were tuning up their guitars and warming up their fingers.
It wasn’t long before they were walking into the venue. The lights were down low and their entrance music was playing. They hit the stage and started playing loud and fast. They went through two more songs before Andy chose to start talking, introducing the band, and interacting with the crowd.
The show went off without a hitch and before they knew it -in fact they all felt it was too soon to end- they were leaving the stage. The crowd started to chant their name and they decided on an encore for the fans and for themselves.
When it was all said and done they went back to their bus. Andy went to the bathroom to scrub his face clean of the make up. They rest of them had some water and some beer before heading out to talk to fans for as long as they could. Andy followed them out as soon as his face was cleaned up.
Only three hours later they were again being herded back to the bus. Tired and a little sad they all crashed in their bunks to rest a while before the bus started moving. Ashley was first up and went to the front. He started up his own little party and was quickly joined by Jake and CC.
It was late into the morning when they decided to call it quits and head to their bunks. CC curled up with a blanket half thrown over himself. He grabbed his phone out of the corner of the bunk where he had tossed it earlier. To his discovery he had twenty unread texts and a few missed calls from his mom.
Going with levels of importance he called his mom back first. She just wanted to know that he was still safe and having a good time. She worried about her son being so far away. He assured her he was fine and that they were heading towards the airport as they spoke. He promised to see her when he got back and then she let him go.
He responded to some of the texts he had and others he ignored. When he finally felt calm enough he picked Helena’s name out of his contacts list and began drafting a message to her. He wrote and re-wrote what he wanted to say. Then he deleted it and began again. What he ended up sending was so much simpler than what he had first intended.
Hey, can we talk when I get back?
CC didn’t expect a response. He was eight hours ahead of her timezone and knew she’d be asleep. She had work the next morning and was always in bed so early on weekdays. Well, she was in bed early if he didn’t convince her to stay with him later than she should be.
Despite that she did respond to him.
Yeah, I was waiting for you.
Why?
I didn’t want to push you.
I needed a push.
When do you want to talk?
Anytime is fine with me.
Wednesday?
Okay, Wednesday. Now go to bed! You have work tomorrow. :-)
Still concerned for my well-being. That’s a good sign. Goodnight, Cecil.
Night Hells.
CC smiled at the thought that he was going to see Helena. He wanted to talk to her and figure out where they stood. He hoped they could still be friends at the very least. His mind did run a little wild thinking about him coming home to find her single, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. Not in a million years.
He couldn’t fall asleep so he decided to take a shower like the rest of his band mates had done. It wasn’t such a great idea to try and get through an airport in full war paint. He had done it, but it had only made the whole process slower.
Taking a shower in a moving bus was almost an art form because there was no telling when the bus would have to stop and the wall of the shower would collide with its occupant. CC made it out unscathed though and dried off.
Back to his bunk he went and curled up with a blanket to try and catch a few z’s before having to go through airport security.