Your Claims of Love Are Falling

After Japan everyone returned home safely. For the next six Helena and CC were hardly ever away from each other. Either he was on the back of her Harley or she was in the passenger seat of his car and they were out terrorizing Hollywood like the terror twins Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee in the 80’s.
The short week was up sooner than either of them wanted it to be and CC was off on tour again. This time Helena couldn’t go but she promised to visit him when the AP Tour passed through town. She held that promise.
Ashley was rather pleased that they seemed to be acting as a couple. They were holding hands and kissing in corners when they thought no one was looking. Ashley had thought they may have had another encounter in the bus bathroom when she came to visit but he wasn’t sure.
The AP Tour seemed short though and CC was soon home again. Helena was there by his side the second he told her he was back in his house. CC had called over Jason and Mandy and the four of them hung out in CC’s house playing games and catching up on life. It was a simple afternoon of friends and catching up.
Mandy and Jason eventually left saying they had a date night planned and wanted to get home to prepare, it was a night in and Jason was cooking dinner. Helena was happy to stay on the couch watching TV with her head resting on CC’s shoulder. He was flipping channels not really seeing anything he wanted to watch and not really spending enough time on any one channel to really see what was going on. He was too busy thinking about how if he casually turned his head just enough he could get a better angle to see down Helena’s shirt.
“Cecil?” Helena asked placing her hand on his thigh.
“What?” He was concentrating now on where her hand was in relation to other body parts of his.
“I’m getting hungry. Can I go get something to eat?”
“Only if you make me something too.” He joked.
“Okay.” She got up and headed for the kitchen.
CC shut the TV off and followed her for lack of anything to watch. He wanted to spend as much time with her as he could because he knew that eventually this would stop. She would be married in a matter of two months and then he was sure she wouldn’t come around as much or even at all.
Andy had told him to just leave it alone and not be with her as much. In his words he had said ‘break it off now before she breaks you’ but CC wasn’t about to drop her. He wasn’t even sure he could if he wanted to. The pep talks and encouragement that Andy and Jinxx had given him still rang in his mind. Andy had given up much sooner than CC would have expect him to, but Jinxx was still encouraging him, but it was all about fighting fair of course.
Helena pulled the things she needed to make a sandwich for first CC and then herself out of the various places in his kitchen. He leaned against the counter top and watched her with just the hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“Can I just hire you to make me food?” He asked, fingertips drumming on his chin.
“For how long?” Helena asked handing him a sandwich.
“The rest of my life.” He said around a bite. “This is really good by the way.”
She had only made herself half a sandwich and sat on top of the island while eating it. She finished her half a sandwich before he was done with his whole one.
“Peanut better and jelly good?” He asked her starting on the second half.
“Yeah, hows yours?”
“Why don’t you tell me.” He said stepping up to her and holding the sandwich in front of her mouth.
She smiled a devious smile and kept eye contact with him as she leaned forward to take a bite. CC put on his best poker face trying not to think about how suggestive that was or how he could see right down her shirt. She leaned back, wiped at her mouth with just one finger, and swallowed.
“Good.” She nodded to herself.
That was it. CC couldn’t take it anymore. The tension he had been feeling was at his limit. He tossed the sandwich out of his hands and grabbed her around the waist.
“I made that!” She protested looking down at the sandwich on the floor.
“Shut up.” He said as he turned her face to look back at him and crushed his open mouth to hers.
She didn’t put up any fight at all. In fact she moved her legs out of the way so he could get closer. When he was against the counter top and had pulled her against him it still wasn’t enough. He kissed her harder and got ready to pick her up off the island. She seemed to know what he was doing and wrapped her arms around his neck while simultaneously tightening her legs around his hips.
CC pushed off the counter taking her full weight on himself and moving to push her against a wall. Now he was starting to get as close as he wanted. He felt her gasping for air and took his mouth from hers. She crossed her ankles behind him and pushed against the wall as he pushed against her to make their bodies tighter while he was kissing and biting her neck.
“Christian.” She gasped trying to say something but his mouth was on hers again.
“Shut your mouth girl, no one has to know.” CC said in a low voice after he had pulled back enough to look into her eyes.
Inside her mind was fighting her body and itself. She knew this was wrong, she knew where this was going. Her body seemed to have no intention of stopping as she felt his skin under the palms of her hands. She was tugging his shirt off right after that. Her mind was trying to remind her of something, what it was now she couldn’t remember. All she knew is there was the foreboding sense of uncertainty that was stopping her from enjoying this as much as she should have.
His lips were on her neck again, his hands sliding underneath her shirt as he started to support her with one of his legs so he could take the time to remove the cotton obstruction. In one swift move she had nothing on the top half of her body and he started to push off the wall supporting her with his arms again.
Whatever it was that was making Helena not fully concentrate was gone now. She wasn’t thinking of anything but where CC’s lips and hands were. For a moment CC considered the couch but then changed his mind opting for his bed. It was only a little further to walk and would be much more comfortable.
Helena felt her back against the sheets of his never made bed and her hands went straight to his belt. His hands went for the button and zipper of hers. They got in each other’s way until they both decided to take off their own pants. CC picked Helena up and shifted her to be lying with her head on the pillows. He then went back to her neck when they both needed air.
She wasn’t going to waste any time and stripped him of his boxers. When he didn’t make a fast enough move she pulled her own underwear off and pulled his face back to hers. CC took the hint and paused for a moment to get to the nightstand drawer. At first Helena didn’t understand what he was doing but then she took the advantage of using her hands to slip on to him what he had gone to grab. CC pushed into her and finally felt what he had wanted to for so long. She gained control of the situation and managed to get on top of him.
It didn’t last very long but it was rough and what they had both been wanting for longer than the both of them realized. Helena rolled off of CC and onto her back. He stayed where he was breathing hard but not as hard as she was. She wiped the sweat from her brow and closed her eyes. CC was kind of amazed that she hadn’t made a move to cuddle yet.
After she felt like she was under control she rolled onto her side and nestled herself under CC’s left arm. He put his hand on her hip and smiled to himself because he gotten everything he had wanted today.
“Cecil?” Helena asked innocently.
“Yeah Hells?” He smiled.
“What the fuck was that?”
“Everything and more.”
“That can’t ever happen again.” She said lifting her head from his chest to look him in the eyes.
“I know.” He said somberly using his free hand to tuck some of her hair behind her ear.
She cupped his cheek with her left hand. She pulled herself up and connected their lips figuring she would be an idiot to resist even that urge after just acting on one that she had been avoiding for so long. CC wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him. His left hand slid lower and lower down her stomach before he was using his hands on her.
“You know that thing I just said about this never happening again?” She asked pulling her lips away from him.
“Yeah.” CC sighed removing his hand from the far reaches of her body.
“I lied.” She said biting his lip and then rolling to pull him on top of her.
He reached into his nightstand again and Helena was doing all she could not to pull his arm back to her and make him forget about being safe. The few seconds it took felt like a few seconds too long before she felt him again.
“Oh dear Jesus.” Helena sighed when CC rolled off her.
CC started laughing when he heard her reaction. “Kind of a funny thing to say after sex.”
“This coming from the man screaming ‘oh God’ the whole time.”
“I wasn’t screaming.” He said as his face turned a shade redder.
“I was there, you were screaming.” She eyed him sideways.
“Fine, maybe a few times. But you said some shit too!” He said pointing at her.
If he was going down for screaming, so was she.
“Regardless of who said what and how they called out to a deity, this isn’t ever going to leave this room.” Helena smiled kissing CC’s nose.
“Please, stop reminding me of that.” CC said looking down and then back at her. “I love you Hells.”
“Don’t say that, Christian.” She said pushing some of his hair from his forehead. “Please, don’t say that.”
She felt a tear on her cheek. He wiped it away and laid there helpless.
“It’s strange how I can feel so good and then feel so shitty in a matter of minutes.” She laughed trying to lighten the mood.
“You shouldn’t feel bad. I knew that this would be it.”
“It’s not just you that I feel bad about, Christian. It’s Kyle. What I just did to him.”
CC just looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry, I should have never...”
“Don’t ever apologize for doing what you wanted to.” She said putting her hand over his mouth to silence him. “It’s just as much my fault. I should have stopped you because I know how you feel about me.”
“You can’t tell me you don’t feel anything for me at all.” CC said once she removed her hand from his lips. “Girls don’t act this way unless there is something there.”
“I can’t admit that. I can’t say it out loud or even in my mind. I’m getting married and that’s all there is to it. There is no us except for today. I just... I can’t.”
They didn’t speak for a moment. CC knew this was the time he needed to lay it all bare for her. He had tried to before when he had seen her in her wedding dress on accident but he had stopped himself. He didn’t want to ruin what she was feeling that day but now, after what just happened between them, he knew he had to tell her.
“Helena, Hells... I just want you to understand, to know what I feel like. Please, don’t stop me because if I don’t tell you then I’ll always be stuck wondering what if I hadn’t?”
“Don’t do this Christian.” She begged as another tear slid down her cheek.
He wiped it away and pushed on with what he had to say, “I love you. First and foremost you have to understand that. I’ve only known you for a few months out of all the years I’ve lived but God dammit I love you. From the way you are so strong willed in not loving me back to the way you seem to want to do anything to make everyone else happy before yourself.
“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. I know that sounds like a whole big bucket of cheese, but there really is no other way to say that in this situation. You’re the reason I get up in the morning and the last thing I think about before going the sleep at night. You are the reason I started sleeping on a somewhat normal schedule so that we could hang out and I wouldn’t keep you up until five am when you had work the next day.
“I don’t know what it is about you from the first time I saw you until now you still hold me in some place that I’ve never been before. A place I never want to leave. A place that I fear I will never get to go back to after this. I know once you get married we wont see each other as much if even at all. But at least I will know that I tried, and that I tried my damnedest to change your mind.
“Even resorting to deplorable actions such as what just happened are not going to turn you from Kyle. And while we are both human and bound to slip once in a while, you give your loyalty to him like I’ve never seen anyone give to another person.
“If I had a choice in this matter I would take you far away. I would keep you for myself and never let you out of my sight. You’re the one, if I had a choice, that I would be with for the rest of my life. And I want to believe that you are the one, but I know that can’t be true. It can’t be because you don’t want me like I want you. This is a wicked game that we’re playing Hells, and it has to stop but I don’t want it to.”
He finished the speech he had gone through so many times before in his head. Helena was crying by the end. He had always imagined her swearing herself to him for the rest of her life after that last bit but he knew that love wasn’t always fair. She sat up and tried to pull herself together.
“How can I follow that?” She asked pulling her clothes up off the floor.
“Don’t make jokes right now.” CC said pulling her back to his side. “Just let me have this next hour with you to say goodbye and then you’ll never see me again. I swear.”
“Okay.” She said leaving her clothes on the edge of his bed and curling up against him.
He kissed the top of her head and then pulled his arms tight around her. She felt his cheek press against her hair and she took a deep breath.
“Christian, I love you too.” She said trying her best not to cry through the five words.
“I know you do. Don’t say anything more than that please. Just leave me with those words.”
She nodded feeling his breathing go slightly irregular. She knew he was starting to cry like she had been. Helena looked up to see the water brimming in his eyes. He looked away from her but she pulled his face back to hers. He tried to smile but the quiver in his chin stopped him half way. She pressed her lips to his a few times just to enjoy it for the last time.
An hour passed and Helena found that CC was asleep. She managed her way out from under his arms and put a pillow there instead. She dressed and gathered her things. This was the end and she knew it. She found a piece of paper in her purse and a pen. She left the only words he wanted to hear as her last on that paper and tucked it under his arm before kissing his forehead and leaving.
When he woke up he found the note with ‘I love you’ written on it. He folded it up and clutched the pillow she had tucked under his arms. He resolved to do as he had promised and would make a conscious effort to never see her again.