The Ice Life

The four Canucks made their way hesitantly onto the ice where Tyler was taking hard shots at a goal that had a fake goalie screen in front of it with the 5 hole cut out. It was an intimidating sight. Not only was every shot perfectly accurate, the shots were faster then any of them could shoot.

The leader of the pack, Roberto Luongo cleared his throat to get her attention. She stopped shooting suddenly and turned around giving them a death glare.

"You're early," she hissed, "why are you early?"

Roberto checked the wall clock that was hanging in the arena, "only by two minutes."

"IT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!" she yelled, and then calmed herself, "I said to be here at 10:52 AM, you are here at 10:50 AM. Please follow instructions exactly as they are given."

The boys nodded and she skated up to them. They were all standing in a line against the door to the rink. Suddenly a sinister smile spread across her lips.

"I saw you guys in the playoff finals," she stopped in front of Kevin Bieksa, "Mr. Bieksa, out of curiosity, did you major in being a whiny little bitch when you went to college, or is that just God given talent?" she left Kevin to stick a finger in Alex Burrows' face, "But I guess that's better than jungle boy over here, how close can I get before he's gonna bite my finger off?" she cackled. "Come on now, don't be shy, lets all make our way over to center ice."

The four boys nervously made their way towards center ice. Daniel Sedin stopped next to Tyler. She frowned when she looked up at him.

"I have to admit something to ya, Thing Two. I really only picked you because I wanted to see if you creeped me out in real life as much as you do on TV. The bad news is, you do. The good news is I chose you over your brother because I wanted to meet the guy that took so many gloves to the face by Brad Marchand," she smiled sweetly at him, "but really though, please don't look me in the eye, you and your sister give me nightmares."

Daniel's face fell and he stared down at the ice.

"Relax man," Kevin nudged Daniel and whispered, "she doesn't mean it."

"I certainly do Mr. Bieksa. Now before we begin we're going to play a game, I'm going to say a quote, and you're going to tell me who said it. Okay here we go: 'Uhh it’s not hard if you’re playing in the paint soo…It’s an easy save for me, but if you’re wandering out and aggressive like he does, that’s going to happen.'"

They all looked wide eyed at Roberto whose cheeks began to turn pink.

"Mr. Luongo if I am to hear even one arrogant douchey comment pass through your obnoxious lips, I will personally rip that disgusting patch of fur you try to pass for a goatee off your chin, do I make myself clear?"

Roberto expression became shocked, he nodded. Alex shoved his elbow pad into his face to muffle his laughter.

"Oh and today you will not go near the paint, you will play outside of the goal at all times. Now, let's start up our first drill. Each one of you go to each of the corners."

Roberto was giving Daniel a confused 'how the fuck does she expect me to play outside the paint' look. The four of them did as they were told.

"When I say so, you will all skate simultaneously at full speed towards center ice, slamming into each other at exactly the same time."

They did so and when they all were laying in a pile on top of each other groaning, they looked over to see Tyler laughing her ass off.

"How does that help our hockey skills?" Kevin said with an obvious annoyance in his voice.

She couldn't stop herself from laughing, "it doesn't! I just wanted to see if you guys were actually dumb enough to do it, and you did!" her laughing abruptly stopped and her face suddenly got serious, "alright, now let's do some actual work."



"YO GRADY TWIN, OVER HERE!" Kevin yelled at Daniel using the nickname Tyler had given him. She had explained to them that the Grady Twins were the creepy sister duo from The Shining, hence the nickname. Daniel and Kevin had a black handkerchiefs over their eyes so that they couldn't see. Tyler had told them the drill was to learn how to pass and receive the puck accurately based on hearing alone. It was so they could watch for an opposing defender and pass the puck at the same time.

"PASSING THE PUCK TO YOU, ERIC CARTMAN," Daniel called, sliding the puck perfectly to Kevin. Tyler had insisted on calling Kevin 'Eric Cartman' like the fat 4th grader on South Park, who was undoubtably the whiniest bitch she could think of. Kevin caught the puck with ease.

"Go now!" Tyler yelled at Alex, who was standing with her at center ice.

Alex raced towards the goal, tapping his stick loudly on the ice to receive a pass from Kevin. He then took an unbelievable shot to the top left of the net, and Roberto somehow made a glove save, even though he stood outside the crease.

Tyler checked her watch, "Good work ladies, but I'm afraid that's all the time I have for you. Now get off my ice!"

"Aww come on! You know we're your favorite team," Kevin joked, skating in circles around her.

"Most certainly not."

"At least come out with us," Daniel said in his Swedish accent, he had warmed up to her over the past few hours.

"As much as I'd love to drink irresponsibly with a bunch of mediocre hockey players, I'm going to have to pass."

They begged her for a little more until she physically pushed them off the ice. She walked into a changing room to remove her skates. All the sudden Kevin entered the room dragging his hockey bag behind him. His helmet and skates were already off.

"Didn't want you to have to change alone," he smiled at her.

"You're too kind," she said sarcastically.

They changed in silence, but Tyler couldn't help but check him out when she saw he was shirtless. It didn't go unnoticed.

"If you want it all you have to do is ask," he winked at her making her cringe.

"Gross."

"I know you do. Don't lie to me." He shimmied up to her, pushing his abs into her face.

"Oh gawddd, you're all sweaty. Get the fuck off." She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him to the other side of the room where he had been changing and onto the bench.

Kevin quickly wrapped his arms around her small waist and pulled her into him and onto his lap. Before she could protest he smashed his lips onto hers. His kiss got more desperate, his tounge parting her lips and sliding into her mouth. His hands cupped her butt and he picked her up mid kiss, she wrapped her legs around his stomach. He gently placed her down on her back onto the empty bench and slipped his rough hand up her shirt. She gasped at how cold his hands were. He pulled away to look at her, then he smirked and pushed his face into her collarbone, making his way downward.

"Kevin stop!" she protested, pushing his face away, "this can't happen, I'm ten years younger than you!"

They both glanced down at the bulge in his pants.

"Oh shit," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "how is it possible that someone as sexy as you is only 20 years old?" He was still on top of her.

She shrugged, slipping out from underneath his legs.

"Wait, don't leave," he begged, catching her by the wrist, "it can be our little secret." He looked hopeful.

She removed her wrist from his grasp. "There are other girl out there; older girls. Goodbye Mr. Bieksa." She picked up her bag and slipped quietly out of the changing room.