If This Was a Movie, It Wouldn't Be Like This

My alarm shrieked in my ears and my eyes shot open. I was then hit with the wave of exhaustion from only sleeping, yet again, roughly four hours.

"Here we go," I sighed.

I slammed down on my alarm clock and shoved my huge goose feather quilt off of me. My long tan legs exposed to the cold, quickly covered in goosebumps. I slipped out of bed and over to my vanity.

"Gross," I moaned.

I hated mornings.

I went to my bathroom and took a shower. Then dressing in black skinny jeans and a Paramore shirt that slid off one shoulder. With my red Chucks my outfit was complete. I threw on a long necklace with a tiny robot charm on it. The robots head was a boombox. It was my favorite necklace.
I crunched and squeezed my strawberry-blonde curly hair, doing nothing with it. Lucky me, I had the perfect hair to do nothing with. I just took a shower, and wa-la! Insta-crazy curls! The red highlights in my already fiery blonde hair made it even more "fiery".
I applied dark eyeliner and some shiny eye shadow, along with black mascara. I looked good, and I knew it. I hated it.
I knew that the day was going to be filled with whistles at my ass, up-and-down check outs, and drool. I hated it. Sometimes I just wish guys would think with their minds, and not their dicks.

I turned to leave my room and tripped over my guitar case.

"Ow. Shit," I cussed, kicking it out of the way. That thing would never stay standing up.

I skipped down the curling black metal stairway from my loft down into the hallway. Which then I went down another large open set of stairs into the open living-room/kitchen area. My Dad a lawyer, and my Mom a doctor, we had enough money for, for anything really. Even for my fancy school.
Wilson-Anderson Private School. It's pretty much for anyone whose parents can pay for the tuition. So of course, I'm stuck there.

I grabbed an apple and went out the door, into the garage. Moms Ford Fusion was gone and so wasn't Dads Chevy Malibu. My Camaro was closest to the door, because I'm really ever the only one home.
I pulled out of the garage and down the paved driveway. I slowly but surely made it to school. The second to last place I'd ever want to be.

I parked and went to the office. I needed a schedule change. I no longer wanted to take the college prep math. I hate math, but I'm good at it. I just needed a change from the dragging on monotone voice of Mr. Gibbs. The man can put me to sleep just by talking. God!

"Hello Myka. How can I help you today?" Mrs. Farley the school Secretary asked me.

"Hey. Yeah, I need to get out of my math class. Into something, a little easier," I said.

"Of course. What period do you have math?"

"First."

"Okay. This should be easy then. Uhmm, what about Mrs. Dales class?" She said looking up from her computer screen.

"Yeah. That'll be fine. Thanks," I said.

After filling out some papers, I went to my new math class.
I knocked on the door and entered.

"Can I help you?"

"Uhm, yeah," I said, showing her the papers that I was now enrolled in her class. She signed them and I went to a seat in the back of the class.

It was in the back right corner near the window. Just the kinda seat I liked. One where you could stare off into space and the teacher would never know.
To my right was a boy. He was long and skinny. With jet black hair that was a mess. He had a lip ring and black clothes on. His Dr. Pepper boxers were sticking out from his dark was jeans. His shirt was black with AC/DC written on it. And our red chucks matched. He was like me, only a boy version. I wasn't sure what I thought of him.
He looked over at me, and I was expecting something on the lines of "Hey sexy. You wanna?", "You're hot. We should hook up sometimes.", "Like what you see? You can have it all.". But, no. He just looked at me, and said, "Nice shoes."

I smiled at the mention of our matching shoes, "Ha. Thanks. Yours too."

And those were the only words spoken between us.

The 90 minute class went by quickly. I had spent most of it looking out the window at the birds and trees, and passing cars.
The bell rang and I went to second period English. Then lunch.
I sat at my regular table with my friends.
Denise and her boyfriend Mark. Wendi, Carla, and Luc.

"So, how is that new math class Myka?" Wendi asked.

"Fine. Easy. But totally better than Mr. Monotone," I said laughing.

They all giggled at my remark.

"Oh my God! Did you hear? Lee Vander apparently stole his fathers car and ran off to Tennessee with some twenty-five year old women last weekend?!" Denise gossiped.

"Oh my God yes! But, he must've come back, because, I saw him at school today," Carla said.

I had no idea who they were talking about, and, I really didn't care.

Mark wrapped his arm around Denise and the gossip stopped. Denise flipped her perfectly wavy brown hair and fluttered her eyelashes, making her sea green eyes shine. She was pretty, she knew it, and she used it. Just like Wendi and Carla.
Wendi had bleach blonde hair the was dead straight. People called her Barbie, because, well, she looked just like one. And Carla had black super curly hair. Kind of like mine, only more curly. They were neat. Mine were messy and careless. But, I liked them that way.
Luc, well, Luc's quiet, but, he's hot. He has dirty blonde sexy hair with blue eyes like daggers. His tan skin shaped his hot muscles. I liked him, until I found out that he's gay. My chances of that flew out the window. But, he was a cool guy. I think he had a thing for Mark though. Which was believable, Mark was equally hot. The quarterback of the football team, he had toned muscles and dark straight hair. Denise and him both had killer sea green eyes. My friends were gorgeous, and they knew it, and took advantage of it. All except me.

School went by slowly, but, eventually ended. I didn't feel like going home yet. It was obviously, my first least favorite place to go. I parked my car at the local park. Being early November, no one was there. It was too cold for any normal person to go for a walk, or go swimming. But, I wanted my space. So, I always went there during the cold seasons.

I sat on a bench, looking at the cold water. Tempted to just go drown in it.
'Wouldn't that be nice? Just to go to sleep and never wake up?' I thought.
And I continued to think.
To think about Mom.
To think about Dad.
To think about my friends.
To think about my schoolwork.
To think about red chucks boy, and how he treated me like I wasn't absolutely gorgeous, and how, beautiful that made me feel. How normal it made me feel.

"Hey," I heard a slightly familiar voice.

I looked up and the red caught my eye. I gasped quietly.
'Red chucks boy'.

"Oh, Hi," I said, trying to think back if I had been thinking out loud. That would've been bad.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uhm, I come here when I just wanna think, and be away from life," I said, surprised I had been so open with him upfront about that, "What about you?"

"Pretty much the same thing," He said sitting down next to me, "What were you thinking about? If you don't mind me asking."

His deep blue eyes looked into mine and I swear he could see my soul. His black hair, still messy, but, it fit. He messy imperfectness of him, made him perfect... He was, beautiful.

"Uhm, life, mostly," I answered.

He smiled, and laughed a little bit. His smile was incredible.

"So, you come here to get away from life. Only to think about life? You are very smart," he joked.

I laughed, now noticing my own stupidity as well.

"Ha. I guess you're right. That's not very smart, huh?"

"No. No not really," he said through a light laugh.

We sat there in silence for a moment, looking out unto the lake. My urge to go drown, still tempting me. Then finally, he broke the silence.

"Wanna go do something fun?"

I was surprised by the question, but, I really didn't want to go home. So, why not?

"Uhm, sure?"

"Cool. Let's go."

"Wait, what about my car?"

"Is it locked?"

I grabbed my keys and clicked a button, "Now it is."

"Good, let's go."

We walked in silence. Normally, I would feel totally awkward, but, I didn't. With red chucks boy, I felt, at ease.
We walked and walked until we made it to Ryan's Edge. It was a cliff at the edge of town. Easy to get to, but, hard to find if you don't know where you're going. The last time I was here, I had gotten so drunk, and woke up at the police station. That was a night I will never talk about, again.

"What are we doing here?"

"Well, when I wanna get away from life, I come here."

He then pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"How is this fun?" I giggled.

I kicked a rock and watched it fall until I couldn't see it anymore.

"I dunno. But, like you imagined drowning in that icy water, I imagine jumping off this cliff," he said after puffing a cloud of smoke.

I gasped, "How'd you...?"

"Trust me, I've seen that look before. I've even had that look before. I understand you a little bit more than you think I do. I understood you the moment I saw you today in class."

"Oh really? Then, tell me. Tell me what you understand about me," I said, cocky.

"You're alone. You're life isn't as perfect as you lead on. You just paint that little smile on your face so people won't notice the sadness in you. But, I noticed it."

I stood in silence and looked out over the town.

Red chucks boy threw his cigarette off the cliff and went behind some trees and bushes.
"Okay, time for the fun stuff," he said returning with a bucket of spray paint cans.

"What the?! What are those for?!"

"C'mon. I also know you're not that perfect little girl you pretend you are. C'mon, some art will do you some good."

I blushed and followed him down a hidden path. The path led to a cave like area just below where we were standing.

"How'd you find this?" I asked.

"One day while I was here, I fell, and landed here. And ever since, I've come down here to paint," he said uncapping and shaking a black spray can.

"I can't paint," I said.

"So, just, paint what is on your heart. That's what art is. The heart and soul in the art, not how good it is."

I decided not to disagree and picked up a red paint can. I didn't really know what to paint. So, I watched him for a few moments. At first it was just lines and scribbles. But, eventually, the black was shaped like shoes. Like chucks.

"Can I see that?" He said, reaching out for the red paint in my hand.

"Oh yeah. Sure."

He started to fill in the shoes, and I got an idea of what to paint.

I grabbed black and white, and did a collage of black and white smiles, and frowns.

Once we were done we stood back and looked at our paintings.

"I like it. It expresses us," he said.

"Yeah. I like it too," I said smiling.