If This Was a Movie, It Wouldn't Be Like This

"So, you think we can do this? Do you even think we should do this?"

"Myka, babe, I know we can do this. And, I don't see any other way. You are not getting an abortion, and, I'm already in love with this baby. Putting it up for adoption, I can't even imagine doing that," Lee said, kissing my face.

"I'm scared. But, I know I'll be able to do it if you're here with me."

"And I always will be."

"Thanks hunnie."

I started craving strange things all the time. Pancakes and Waffles for dinner. Pickles and ice cream at 3am. Burritos, and other Mexican foods. Which only gave me heartburn afterwards. And with the weight gain, and heartburn, it was a loose/loose situation. I also got very short tempered and cranky.

"Babe, the dishes aren't done!" I yelled from the living room, folding laundry.

"I know babe. I'll get them!" Lee said, annoyed.

"Don't give me that tone!"

"I'm not giving you any tone Myka!"

"Yes you are! You're giving me that tone you have when you're annoyed!"

"Well, maybe because I am annoyed!!"

Tears instantly left my eyes, "You're annoyed with me? I annoy you? Ohh."

"Babe," he sighed, "No babe. I'm not annoyed."

"But, you just said you are!"

"No, it's just... We're both very short tempered, and I forget sometimes that you're hormonal and can't control it. I'm sorry babe," he said holding me close, and kissing my face.

"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry. I'm awful. But, I just can't help it! You must hate me! You hate me, don't you?" I cried.

"No. No. No. No! Never! I love you Myka!"

"Okay. You do? Because, I love you, and I don't know what I would do with out you."

He smiled, " Yes I do. I love you more than anything in this damned world."

Trying to go to school and deal with a baby on the way had it's complications, but, we made it work. I got nasty looks and glances at school. Peoples whispering made me crazy at first. I couldn't take being talked about. These people knew nothing about me, and my situation.

"Lee, everyone is staring," I complained.

"Then let them stare."

"What? No. It bothers me."

"Babe, they're only staring because you are the most beautiful girl to roam the earth. And you should get used to having a pair of eyes on you all the time, because, I'm never taking mine off of you," Lee said, kissing my forehead and holding me close.

I couldn't help but smile, "Thank you Lee. You're wonderful, and you out do yourself, way too much."

He laughed, "I know. But, it's true."

Eventually though, I got used to the stares. It just became a part of life at school. No one ever really talked to me. I had lost all my "good friends". Who obviously, weren't really that good of friends.
Lee got me into a Women's Health Care office and helped me get prenatal care.

"So, when did you think you got pregnant?" asked the midwife.

"Uhm, well, we had sex, maybe a week after Thanksgiving. But, I didn't notice anything, or take the test until Christmas week," I explained.

"Okay, I see. So, you're due date is roughly, August 20th," she said, "So, do you have family support, or anything?"

I looked at Lee, with tears pushing to leave my eyes. Eventually, they poured over. The memories of my parents not wanting me anymore giving them the final shove.

"Uhm, Myka lives with me now. Her parents don't really want her to live with them anymore. They don't really want her," he said, pausing and holding me close, "I live with my aunt and uncle, but, they're not ever really home. So, it's just us really."

My sobs got louder, and Lee held me close, kissing the top of my head.

"Oh, okay," said the midwife, shocked, "Well, that's okay. How old are you two?"

"We're both seventeen, I'll be eighteen in March and Myka will be eighteen in May," Lee said.

"Okay. Well, why don't you guys go to the front desk and pay. And then, schedule your first ultrasound, in a few weeks? And here, this is a list of things you might want to get. You're going to need a lot of diapers," she said joking.

We took the paper and planned our next visit. I was anxious to start on the nursery, but, Lee didn't want us getting any furniture or paint until we knew the gender. We stocked up on diapers, bottles, and pacifiers though.
When we got back to the house, we emptied out Lee's game room. Once that was done, we organized the bottles and pacifiers and diapers in drawers.

A few weeks later, we had my ultrasound appointment. I think Lee was more anxious to see our little baby spec on a screen, than I was.
My belly was tiny. But, most of it was from all the eating I was doing.
The nurse said the baby was growing normally and to just keep doing what I was doing, and everything should be fine with the baby.

Me and Lee were both very excited and anxious to meet this baby. Lee never said so, but, I could tell. I could tell by the way he would look at me, and then my belly. I could tell by the numerous times I caught him in the potential nursery, looking around and smiling. I could tell by the way he wants to discuss names. He was anxious. I was too.

It was hard, keeping up with school and the upcoming baby, but, we made it work.