Nothing lasts foREVer

2006

After the success of my commercial for Dior back in 2003 I became the face of the label along with Ian. Ian doubtlessly became a part of my life, he became one of my best friends and my confidant over the years. Jimmy liked him too even though he wasn’t very fond of Ian the first few months. My mom never returned to Portugal, she stayed with me and re-married Larry, the guys’ manager. Rick and Andrew had been living together since they moved back to the States, they lived a couple of blocks away from me and Jimmy. I never left college even though I had find success and became known worldwide in the modeling business; I was on my third year of college, two more years and I would have my college degree in hand. Jimmy was on tour in Europe promoting their last album ‘City of Evil’. I flew there almost every weekend but it wasn’t nearly enough. I missed him; a daily Skype conversation and my one day visits per week were not enough for me, as it wasn’t for him. We were both anxiously waiting for my Easter break, when I could finally stick with him for two weeks.

“Someone is in a bitchy mood today!”, Ian taunted.

“Shut up, Ian!”, I blared at him.

“What? You should be excited not bitchy, Cath! You’ll be with Jimmy in two more days. Ain’t that what you’ve been waiting for?”, he remarked.

“You know exactly why I’m bitchy… I should be flying to Europe now not in two fucking days! I hate Jeff so much right now…”, I grunted as I walked inside the set.

“Why would you hate me?”, Jeff asked.

“Seriously? You really have to ask? I just missed my plane because of this damn job you got me last minute… Couldn’t it wait until I got back?”, I hissed harshly.

“You know how this works, Cath. You’ve been on the business long enough to know I can’t just put Dior on hold. You’re just delaying your flight for two days it’s not like it is the end of the world.”, he replied condescendingly.

“You know how much I miss him, you know how much I want to finally be with him… Everyone knows, that’s all I’ve been talking about for the last months. We’ve been away from each other for more than three months now, that’s way more than I can handle.”, I sighed.

“You’re so dramatic! You’ve been with James almost every weekend, Cath.”, Ian said.

“A few hours it’s all I’ve been getting from all those flights to Europe. In case you don’t know, a flight to Europe ain’t a couple of hour’s flight, I do spend at least twenty four hours inside a goddamn plane! I really don’t have to explain myself to you guys…”

It took us longer to shoot that commercial because I was so pissed that I wasn’t exactly being professional. Either Ian or Jeff seemed ready to kill me every time I messed up another scene. It wasn’t until Jeff came up to me and threatened not to let me leave the set until he was satisfied with the outcome that I did it right. Everyone was pissed at me for turning a four hours shooting into a ten hours shooting.
Ian drove me home and even though he was still mad at me he stayed with me until the day my flight was scheduled. Andrew, Rick and Ian took me and my mom to the airport that morning. She was flying with me to meet her husband that was on the road with the boys too. My mom and I were the only ones that were apart from their significant other during this tour, all the other girlfriends were with their men. Zacky and Johnny had found themselves a girlfriend too, Gena and Lacey respectively. We were flying to France this time, and the girls were supposed to pick us up at the airport. All four of them were there when we landed.

“Why did you cancel your last flight? Jimmy has been moody all week.”, Val said to as she hugged me.

“I know… We’ve been talking on Skype. I’ve been just as bitchy, trust me! I’m surprised I’m still alive, ‘cause Ian and Jeff surely thought about killing me. I had to shoot a commercial for Dior last minute, that’s why I canceled the flight.”, I explained her.

“Lets get going, then… Their concert it’s almost over, I wanna be there when they get out of the stage.”, Michelle said.

I heard all about the last events on tour that Jimmy purposely forgot to tell me… According to Val, that day Jimmy didn’t show up on Skype was because he had a pretty good reason. Typical of my boyfriend to do such things, I would have laughed my ass off if I had witnessed it. After playing with Metallica they all went to Amsterdam, they partied all night and got drunk as usual… The next day they woke up and Jimmy got so amazed by those many pigeons that he decided to run among them and ended up hitting one out of the air, which led to a night in jail after two bike cops maced him. My mom eyed me warily when I burst out in laughter.

“Why are you laughing? It’s not funny that your boyfriend spent the night in jail, Cat!”, my mom scolded.

“C’mon, mom! It’s so typical of him… He always gets himself in situations like this, he’s just like a little kid doing devilries. Who else would get maced and forced to spend the night in jail for hitting a pigeon?”, I said through giggles.

“The worst part was that he didn’t take the time to shower and during their performance the next day with all the sweating the mace slithered to his eyes and eventually the drums started missing.”, Lacey laughed.

“My poor baby… No wonder he didn’t tell me.”, I stopped laughing when Val parked the van.

“Don’t tell him we told you, okay?”, Gena pleaded.

“I’ll handle James, don’t you worry…”, I assured her.

They were already in their dressing room on the backstage when we got there. Jimmy’s tattoos had increased over the years… he had colorful sleeves on both of his arms; a set of handcuffs tattooed on the back of his neck above his all seeing eye; he had a huge ‘0’(zero) tattooed on his back with his last name above it, resembling the back of a Lakers’ T-shirt and a sexy devil girl tattooed on the left side of his number; his chest held a reaper or angel of death as you might wanna call it on the left side and the pope kissing a child on his right side; the word “FICTION” vertically tattooed from his chest to his stomach. He was shirtless, with his back to the door when we got in the room, I dropped all my bags and jumped on his back.

“Hello, stranger! Did you miss me?”, my lips grazed his tattooed neck as his hands grabbed my legs and snake them around his torso.

“Do you really need to ask?”, he swung me so I was facing him. “You have no idea what I’ve been through… I hate being away from you. How did the commercial go?”, he pecked my lips.

“That’s all I’m getting? A small peck on the lips? After all this time away?”, I teased him.

“We’re not alone, babe! I can’t exactly do what I really want to…”, he whispered pressing his temple on mine.

“Since when did that stopped you from doing anything?”, I brushed my lips on his and pulled back.

“Since your mom is one of the audience…”, he breathed as he tried to capture my lips in a kiss. “Cath!”, he hissed “Stop it…Don’t torture me, I’ve been through enough.”

“Then tell me… What have you been through? Did you forgot to shower after someone maced you?”, I taunted.

“Who the fuck told her?”, he suddenly turned around to glare at the girls. Gena and Lacey were silently pleading me to put on a good word for them.

“Was that a secret? Are you keeping secrets from me now?”, I faked an outraged expression.

“It’s not that… I was planning on tell you. It was just a stupid situation. I mean… Who goes to jail for hitting a fucking pigeon? That’s just absurd, right?”, he explained a little embarrassed.

“I said the exact same thing, babe! No need to be embarrassed, Jim… You know I would have spent the night in jail with you if I had been there and I most certainly would have dragged you to the shower with me the next morning.”, I pecked the tip of his nose.

“See? That’s how much I need you, Cath!”, he captured my lips in a heated kiss.

“Get a room!”, Zacky mocked.

“I’d gladly do that…What about you, babe?”, he asked but never pulled his lips from mine.

“What are we waiting for?”, I replied.

“You haven’t even greeted us properly!”, Brian whined.

“You’re totally right, Brian! I’m sorry… Baby, take me to Brian so I can hug him properly.”, Jimmy chuckled and did as I asked. “I missed you, Gates! Did you miss me too?”, I said as I hugged him with my legs still snaked around Jimmy’s middle.

“It’s not like I’ve missed you… Jimmy just has been a pain in the ass since he found out that you had re-scheduled your flight! I was desperately craving your arrival because he became too much too handle, I can’t just pick him up from jail every morning!”, I punched him playfully on his chest.

“You’re such an ass, Gates! But I missed you anyway…”, I chuckled. “What is everyone else waiting for? You guys can’t seriously be waiting for my boyfriend to reach each one of you at a time! Move your ass and show me some love.”, Jimmy laughed loudly at my little ‘lecture’.

“Always watching out for me, babe!”, Jimmy’s lips grazed mine.

“That’s what you get for always watching out for me… I lov…”

“You asked us for some love, almost yelled at us to get our ass here and before we even got the chance to give you a hug you’re all lovey dovey again!”, Zacky cut me off mid-sentence.

“Gena, we really need to talk girl! You’re always interrupting our moments, Zee! That’s not cool… Ain’t Gena giving you all the love you need?”, I taunted. “Come here, you jealous fuck!”.

I hugged him just like I had hugged Brian prior. My life had really turned around after that summer break back in 2002 when I met these guys. Zack hugged me back tightly.

“It’s just that we all have missed you, Cath… Not only Jimmy misses you, you know?”, he whispered.

“Aww, Zee! You know I miss you guys too… I love you, Zee.”

“Hey! Zachary Baker! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”, Jimmy scolded sternly.

“Jim…”, my tone was reproaching.

“I know, I know… I’m just messing with him. Just say goodbye to these fuckers already, babe. I can’t wait to have you locked inside the hotel bedroom all for myself.”, he hurried me impatiently.

“Johnny boy…”, I cooed cheerfully as he approached us. “Babe, you need to bend your knees a bit so I can hug him.”, I asked him.

“Already leaving, Cath? You guys should stay with us and get wasted tonight. Lets get shitfaced?”, he grinned.

“Tomorrow, short shit. Today she’s mine, and mine only.”, Jimmy replied sternly.

“I’m always yours and only yours, babe.”, I kissed the tip of his nose.

“Here we go again…”, Zacky muttered.

“Shut it!”, Jimmy hit the back of his neck.

“What was that for?”, Zacky whined while he rubbed the back of his neck to ease the pain.

“For being such a dick…”, Johnny faked a cough. “I suppose I can’t make you stay tonight, can I?”

“Just hug me so I can hug Matt and leave you all with moping Zacky…”, I smirked and opened my arms so I could hug him. “Come here, Johnny boy. I missed you, Christ.”, Johnny hugged me back and kissed my cheek before he pulled away.

Jimmy returned to his normal height and kicked the air to stretch his legs. “Matt…”, I smiled and held my arms open to hug him but he just shook his head.

“Get in the fucking floor and hug me properly.”, he said sternly.

I looked up at Jimmy hesitantly. It was actually pretty silly of me, but after being all this time apart from him, now that I had the chance to hold him I didn’t want to let go of him, even if it was for just a couple of seconds. He kissed me gently and put me back on the ground so I could hug Matt. I frowned as soon as Jimmy pulled away from me. Matt hugged me so tightly that I felt all the air rushing out of my lungs, I gasped for air.

“Jesus, Matt! Loosen up a bit, you’re crushing me.”, he just laughed but he did as I asked. “You always have to do that. You know how much I hate it.”

“I know…”, he laughed and tighten his hug again. “Jimmy is not the only one who misses you, Cath. You have to greet us properly and not forget about us as soon as Jimmy has his arms around you.”, he scolded.

“Val…”, I cried out for help and she just laughed. “C’mon! Help me out. Matt is crushing me…”

“He’s right, Cath… Once you see Jimmy you forget all about us and that is not nice.”, she joined Matt.

“That is not true, guys. You know I love you, all of you. It’s just that we don’t have much time to be together lately and I just want to enjoy every single second of it. I’m not going anywhere for the next two weeks. We’ll have plenty of time to hang out.”, I explained.

“Yeah, if Jimmy doesn’t have you tangled up in his arms all the time.”, Zacky muttered.

“Jealous fuckers! Lets go, babe. See you tomorrow, guys.”, Jimmy grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room. He called us a cab and we headed to his hotel all curled up in each other in the back seat.

***********

*A few hours later*

My naked body was curled up against his and I was running a finger along his chest tattoos while he was drawing circles on my hip with his thumb. “I forgot to tell you something…”, he whispered.

“What is it?”, I asked softly.

“Remember I told you about that DVD we were doing about the band?”

“Sure…”

“They’ll be here tomorrow to start filming again.”

“That’s cool, babe.”, I smiled and pecked his lips.

“It probably means we won’t have that much time to be together.”, he grimaced.

“Well, that is not cool… That sucks.”, I muttered right before he pulled the covers over our naked bodies.

We talked for a couple of hours before we fell asleep.
Two weeks passed pretty fast. I only had two more days before I had to fly back to the States. Jimmy was right about us not spending as much time together as we wished. I was with him 24/7 but we were never alone. Cameras followed us everywhere and I had chosen not to be on the video. Despite the fact that we didn’t have that much time alone, I had a great time with him and the guys. Jimmy was just crazy. I was sure their fans would certainly laugh their asses off when they took a look at the DVD, because Jimmy made sure of that. I watched him play the ninja with the technicians, I watched him made up silly songs just to make Jason Berry stop mimicking him, I heard all about his favorite quote of all time. We were back at the hotel, the cameras were all over them trying to get good material for the DVD. Jimmy was getting shitfaced with Brian, Johnny, Matt and Jason Berry while I was sitting with the filming crew watching Jimmy being Jimmy. At some point sleep got the best of me and I warned Jimmy I was heading back to the bedroom. Michelle and Lacey had left about twenty minutes before me. As soon as I got inside the room I stripped off of my clothes and laid in the bed in my underwear.

“Baby…”, Jimmy called out for me when he got to the bedroom a few hours later. “Are you still awake?”, I heard a loud thud when he stumbled on him own feet and fell on his face.

“I am now…”, I switched on the bedside lamp and got off the bed to help him out. “What happened to your hair?”, I asked.

“Oh… I just… I tossed a glass of Guiness on my face.”, he laughed.

“Come on, baby. Lets get you cleaned.”, I helped him up and led him to the bathroom.

“Bathe with me, will you?”, he asked.

“Sure, babe. Let me just fill the tub.”, he told me what I missed while we waited for the tub to be filled with hot water. I helped him strip and get in the tub before I got in myself. He was sitting with his legs stretched, so I just sat on his lap and snaked my legs around his waist.

“I’ve been thinking, Cath. I’ve been thinking a lot about something and I’ve made my decision.”, he whispered while I washed his face.

“Wanna tell me about it?”, I asked softly.

“Marry me, Cath.”, he said looking me straight in the eyes.

“Babe… You’re just drunk.”, I giggled as I made him sink his head in the water so I could wash his hair.

“I know I’m drunk, but I still want you to marry me.”, he said once he resurfaced.

“Jim… C’mon, baby. I know you pretty well, remember? You don’t even believe in marriage.”, I kissed his cheek and pulled away.

“But I believe in us. And I know you always dreamed about walking down the aisle in a white dress. I want you to have that.”, he watched me intently as I poured some shampoo in my hands to wash his hair.

“I have you, and that is way more important than some stupid paper. We’ll talk about this some other time, okay? You’re just so drunk you won’t even remember this conversation in the morning.”, I said as I scrubbed his hair.

“Okay, babe. We’ll do as you say.”, he pulled in closer to him and kissed me keenly.

After we rinsed our bodies we went straight to bed, Jimmy fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. I snuggled against him and rested my head on his chest after I pulled the covers over us. Jimmy unconsciously held me tighter against him. I woke up the next morning and found the bed empty. On the top of his pillow was a note. You were so peacefully asleep that I didn’t have the courage to wake you. Matt came over so we could discuss a few things…Meet me in the cafeteria downstairs, babe. I love you, Cat
I smiled at the note for a few seconds before I hopped off the bed and got dressed. When I reached the cafeteria Jimmy had a guitar in his arms and was playing some chords.

“Good morning, guys.”, They were all grinning at me which was not entirely normal. Brian was not a morning person, he usually just grunts in the morning and same goes to Johnny. But they were all pretty excited that morning, so I decided to go with it and just ignore it. “Good morning, babe. You should have waked me up.”, I leaned against his back and kissed his neck tenderly.

“Sit down and eat your breakfast, babe.”, he patted the chair next to him.

We all ate quietly, even though they kept grinning at me for no apparent reason. I asked Jimmy several times if I had something on my face but he always said no and smiled. It wasn’t until we were on the bus that I knew what all those smiles were about. I sat next to Val on the small couch on the front of the bus and expected Jimmy to sit next to me, but instead he was on his knee holding the same acoustic guitar he was playing on the cafeteria.

“Cat, I love you more than anything. If there’s anything in this fucking world that I’m one hundred percent sure is that we are meant to be together forever. A few years back, I promised you I’d write you a song. Don’t expect too much from it, ‘cuz I wrote it in less than an hour sitting on that damn cafeteria. Here it goes…”, he began to strum the notes on the guitar.

“Running away from my own sorrows
My heart was broken, my mind on the edge
Last thing I needed was a new love
But that summer day, hanging with my friends
A working girl trying to save money for college
Sunk deep into every inch of me

Countless nights spent at the bonfire
Memorizing every single detail of your face
Mesmerized by your secrecy desire
Vainly, you tried to keep your sorrows to yourself
I patiently earned your trust
Curled up in my sleeping bag we shared our life experiences

Chorus:
Before I knew it I was in, deep
Babe, without you I’m aimless
You are all I ever needed
You are the one to keep
Your love for me took away all of my heartaches
My love for you is endless, timeless

The more I knew you, the deeper I fell
I wasn’t quite sure how you felt
I took my chances with that kiss
Your lips against mine were bliss
I cherish all our time together
Even though our love will last forever

Chorus:
Before I knew it I was in, deep
Babe, without you I’m aimless
You are all I ever needed
You are the one to keep
Your love for me took away all of my heartaches
My love for you is endless, timeless

You came along and healed all my scars
You changed my life irreparably
I’d love to give you the stars
But I’ll be satisfied as long as you’re happy
With you I know I’ll be free
I just want you to marry me

Chorus:
Before I knew it I was in, deep
Babe, without you I’m aimless
You are all I ever needed
You are the one to keep
Your love for me took away all of my heartaches
My love for you is endless, timeless”, I was crying without even realizing it, tear just streamed down my face. He set the guitar to the side and kissed me.

“What do you say, baby? Will you marry me?”, he asked.

“But, Jim…But… You don’t believe in marriage.”, I said between sobs.

“I told you last night, Cat… I believe in us. I want you to have your dream come true, I want to see you walk down the aisle to say yes to me. Will you marry me?”, he asked again impatiently.

“I will. You have no idea how happy I am right now.”, I jumped onto his lap and pressed my lips against his in a fiery kiss.