No Happily Ever After

Keeping the guys away was hard. Whilst Zack spent a lot of time in his tiny compartment, the others always had a reason to talk to him; be it Jack’s hangovers, opinions on a girl or song or just for a plain old guy talk.
Of course, those made me feel great. I couldn’t even keep 3 boys away for just a few days. Nor could I get Zack to come clean about whatever he was up to. It aggravated the hell out of me – I was helping him, but without knowing why.
‘Play video games, Ella?’ Rian poked his head out of Zack’s compartment since Zack was asleep on his bunk.
‘Yeah, sure.’
Once perched on the small green drab sofa, I hit play and for a few minutes, all you could hear was the sound of our fingers tapping the buttons agitatedly. Finally, Rian threw the controller on the floor and I paused the game.
‘Whatever Zack’s up to, I don’t know.’ I threw my hands up and sighed. ‘So before you ask me…’
‘Snap.’ He sighed. ‘If we could get Jack to turn on his charm and get you to tell us…’
‘I don’t know!’
Rian looked up and frowned. ‘Ella, we know you guys are up to something. The only reason Jack doesn’t ask you about it is because he trusts you.’
I stood up angrily. ‘Seriously, Rian? I don’t know wh-‘
‘Rian? Ella? We’re here.’
I shot an apologetic look to Rian who had his face in his hands, and skipped out to find Alex sitting cross legged on the counter. He hopped off and grinned.
‘What’re you gonna do?’
‘Live with Jack. I’m not going back to her…’
‘We wouldn’t let you.’ Zack laughed, his guitar slung over his back. ‘It’s cool, I’m staying here too. Rian’s mom’s moving out though… Party all night?’ He suggested to Jack, who carried our bags outside.
‘I need to call Cris.’ I kissed him quickly and thumbed in her number. She didn’t pick up. ‘She’s not picking up.’
‘Is she ok?’
‘She’s… You’ll see for yourself.’ I rolled my eyes.
‘You going there now?’
I nodded. ‘You coming?’
‘I need a break, lemme come too?’
‘Of course. Let’s go.’
Walking side by side with Alex, I swung my arms, trying to lighten the mood. He walked, shuffling his feet occasionally, and shielding his eyes. Eventually he turned to me.
‘Zack’s doing something dodgy.’
‘I don’t kn-‘
‘Of course you don’t. But it’s strange… He was talking to a fan and when he came in, he went straight to his guitar and started playing and practising. It’s not one of our songs…’
‘I wish I could help, Alex.’ I sighed and reached over to hug him. He draped his arms around me and then tightened protectively.
‘Alex?’
‘Sorry, it’s just… God, you’ve been away for so long.’
‘I know. I’m sorry.’ My arms slid down from around his neck and I stepped away. That was far too intimate. ‘Let’s get to Cris’ house.’
15 minutes later, I paused, my fist hovering inches from the door, nervous. I hadn’t spoken to her in so long. Alex coughed and knocked for me. I sent him a grateful smile, and then turned to the door.
She’d changed; her hair was longer with bangs, her eyes were framed with liner and she was huge. The pregnancy had really taken a toll on her body. I waited for Alex’s reaction, but nothing came forth.
‘Ella…?’ She frowned and then threw the door shut. Alex placed his foot as a jam, and pushed the door open. Cris reached out to steady herself and bit her lip. ‘Get out. Seriously.’
‘Cris, lis-‘
‘You left me.’ No accusation, no crying or screaming, just the words out of her mouth like a fact.
‘I tried calling you…’
‘I missed your call 3 times and you stop calling? You know how I found out about you and your stupid hospital stunt? The news. The news, that’s how. My best friend, lying unconscious in hospital and no-one even figured to call me.’ She shook her head. ‘You stopped calling, never asked how I felt or how I was. No texts came through from you… Rory cared more about me than you did. And you’re my best friend, and he’s the jerk who knocked me up. It hurts, Ella, because I was always there for you. I listened to you whine and complain and remain the centre of attention without a single word. But you find yourself a boyfriend, you leave me for him, and suddenly you expect me to not say a word again? That’s sick, Ella.’
‘Cri-‘
‘I mean, you didn’t even call me after that.’ She sounded legitimately miserable. I wanted to hug her, tell her I knew I was a bad friend and more than anything, I wanted to promise her that I would always be there for her. But Alex dragged me away, and the tears slid down my face.
‘She was my best friend, Alex.’
‘Shhh, I know.’
We stood there for what felt like a lifetime, until Alex grabbed my wrist and lifted me up. I buried my face into his shoulder as he walked casually, not really bothered.
‘Where are we going?’
‘To see Zack. He’ll know what to say.’
‘What about Jack?’ I sniffed. Surely the logical thing to do would be to take me to my boyfriend and have him cheer me up.
‘Cris is pregnant. I don’t want her corpse on our hands.’
I shuddered. ‘Jack will want to know what’s up.’
‘True, but he won’t pursue it until you’re ready. He’s patient with you.’
‘Thanks, Alex.’
‘No problem, Ella.’ He squeezed me, and then knocked on the door. The door opened silently, and then I heard Jack’s voice in my ear.
‘Ella, are you ok?’
I nodded and kissed him. ‘I’m fine.’ I murmured.
He didn’t buy it, but placed me down. Alex had Zack by the wrist and shoved him in front of me.
‘Talk to her, faggot.’ And he skipped off outside.
‘Where’s he gone?’ Jack got up and followed him out. I blew him a kiss and mouthed ‘thank you’ to him. He was a babe.
‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ Zack groaned, peering at me through his fingers.
‘Nothing. I don’t know why Alex even brought me to you.’ I retorted.
‘Because you’re obviously incom- Ella, I’m kidding.’ He enveloped me in a hug, and whispered into my ear. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Cris hates me.’ I mumbled, too exhausted to hug back.
‘Really? Why?’
‘I didn’t keep in contact when I left and now she hates me.’ I whispered, burying my face in my hands. ‘I’ll be fine, though.’ I slipped out of his grasp and turned on my heel, but Zack grabbed my wrist.
‘Ella, I need your help.’
‘My help?’
‘Yes, your help. Come with me?’
I let him drag me to his room, feeling nervous. What could he possibly want from me? I bit my lip and hovered in his doorway.
‘Zack, wha-‘
‘I need your opinion on this song.’
I knew Zack played a hell of a lot of instruments, I knew he could sing and I knew he loved skateboarding. I also knew he was quiet but perceptive and that was it really. I stayed where I was, half hidden by the door and listened.
At first, it sounded like chords put blindly together, and then I realised – that’s what it was. But Zack had put them together so perfectly that they worked. And then his voice started singing, singing something strange. I couldn’t pick out the words because the music was too pretty. By the time he’d finished, I was standing in the doorway fully, and not hiding behind the door.
‘Zack, that was awesome.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. Is that what you’ve been doing for so long?’
‘Yep. Alex’s annoyed at me, stupid faggot.’ He chuckled.
‘Why are you writing songs?’ I sat cross legged, closing the door and leaning against it. ‘I thought Alex writes the songs.’
‘He does… But this isn’t for All Time Low.’
‘What’s it for, then, if not for All Time Low?’
‘That’s a secret.’ He grinned.
We sat there for a while, and eventually Alex and Jack joined us. Although Jack sat next to me, and held my hand, he didn’t say a single word to me. He didn’t kiss me, or hug me, or even acknowledge my presence. His hand lay there limply in mine and I bit my tongue, trying to stop the tears. What had I done?
‘Jack?’
‘What?’ He turned around. Apparently he’d been in mid sentence and I’d interrupted him.
‘Uh, where’s Rian?’
‘He went to stay with Kara. Anything else?’ He was agitated.
‘N-No.’ I mumbled, not meeting his eyes. Zack stared at me for a while but I snatched my hand from Jack’s and looked at it with misting eyes.
After a while, I slipped out to go to sleep. I was supposedly sharing a room with Jack, so I peeled off my clothes and lay in the covers; try as I might, I couldn’t sleep. Jack didn’t come in until about 1am, and even then, he didn’t wrap his arms around me.
My biggest fear was slowly coming true.