No Happily Ever After

With Cris ignoring my calls, and my visits, and Jack refusing to talk to me, I was reminded entirely of the few months that had followed when I’d heard about ‘Dad’. The months of not eating, not talking, not doing anything.
I spent most of my time with Alex and Zack. Zack and I spent hours in his room writing music -he would play guitar and occasionally I’d sing; Alex and I walked around the city aimlessly, and at one point, he even suggested grabbing my stuff from home and moving it to Jack’s, although I steadily refused.
Rian was nice, too. He could see Jack’s disregarding attitude was getting to me, and offered to talk to him, but Kara was around him far too much. She was lovely, and I adored her, but she reminded me of Cris. So although we spent time together, I made it a rule not to get too attached.
‘What do you think of this?’ Zack handed me a sheet from one side of his room, and under the yellow light, I scanned the paper quickly before handing it over.
‘It’s okay. Not as good as the others.’ I replied, biting my lip. ‘Seriously, don’t write about girls unless you’re in love.’
Zack reddened, but shrugged. ‘Whatever, Dawson.’
‘Yeah, Merrick.’ I paused. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Sure.’ I couldn’t see his face, he was that absorbed in scribbling down hasty lyrics.
‘Who is Dirty Work about?’ I tried to keep my tone neutral, but my voice cracked at the end.
His head shot up, and he blinked a few times. ‘Pardon?’
‘Almost all of the songs are about girls.’ I cracked a weak smile. ‘Who’re they about? I mean, Alex has to get his inspiration from somewhere…’
‘Uh, his ex-girlfriend. At least, That Girl is about her.’ He strummed idly on his guitar. ‘Lisa. She was nice.’
‘If she was nice, why’d they break up?’ I mused, hugging my knees and crawling next to him.
‘She wasn’t rich. She couldn’t afford to see Alex all the time, so they broke up because it wasn’t helping either of them. Alex was always on tour or with the band, and she was forever studying. They weren’t… Right after a while.’
‘Oh gosh. How did she handle Dirty Work?’
‘She doesn’t know it exists.’ He chuckled. ‘Not rich, remember? No TV.’
I laughed, the high pitched noise escaping before I could choke it back. Zack watched me with an amused smile, before grabbing some water and handing it to me.
‘T-Thanks, Merrick.’ I stifled, swallowing some and feeling immediately grateful. ‘I could’ve died.’
‘And then where would we be?’ He teased.
‘At my funeral.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘If I die, promise me you’ll sing one of your songs at my funeral.’
‘I’ll write one specially.’ He promised, linking pinkie fingers with me.
It was almost 1am when I made my way to the kitchen to get some real food. Dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and an old sweatshirt I’d thrifted, I was heating some pizza in the tiny microwave when Jack stumbled into the kitchen, drunk.
‘Jack?’ I took a step back as he staggered around. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Ella?’ He frowned. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Getting some food. What about you?’ I fiddled with the necklace he’d given me a while back, and hid it inside my shirt.
‘Doing the same, I s’pose. Is that pizza?’
‘Yep. You want it?’
‘Yeah, sure.’ I handed him the plate and was grateful when he took the pizza. If he crashed the plate… He’d trip on a shard, and cut himself.
‘Thanks.’ He shoved the wedge into his mouth, and then sighed before leaving. I left the kitchen, but instead of feeling happy that he’d finally recognized me, I felt awful. He was drunk.
With a low feeling, I climbed up the stairs and made my way into Zack’s room. He was asleep, a pen in one hand and a pad of paper in the other. Vigilantly, I slid the paper out of his hand and read the lyrics whole-heartedly. They were beautiful. I placed the paper down, took the pen from him and rested my head on his shoulder, feeling slightly relaxed. My eyelids heavy, I gave in and fell asleep.

Laden with bags of food, Alex and I shoved them into the trunk and tried in vain to uncramp our hands. We’d gone without real food in a long time, and Alex and I had made it our responsibility to provide food. Which meant going shopping and dealing with everyone’s cravings and actually cooking for them; already I hated the decision.
‘Want some marshmallows?’ Alex ripped a box open and shoved it at me. I reached out and snagged a couple. ‘I’m not in the mood for cooking today.’
‘Lucky for you, I’m a girl. I make a mean sandwich.’
‘Bring it.’ He challenged, his eyes narrowing, and a smile playing on his lips. I punched his arm mischievously and got into the car. He slid into the driver’s seat and pulled out. ‘If we didn’t have frozens, I’d ditch the guys right now.’ He sighed. ‘I’m so sick of being in one place.’
‘Post-touring depression?’ I asked, fiddling with my hands nervously.
‘Pffft.’ He blew a raspberry and then pulled up in front of the house. ‘Let’s go.’
After shoving food in every available space, we made a lightning decision to go to the beach. Zack went to stock up on snacks, water and sunscreen whilst I dragged Jack out of bed.
‘C’mon Jackie.’ I knew he loved it when I called him that, and he usually responded, but nothing happened. I sighed, and tugged harder before giving a pull with almost all my strength. He landed on the floor with a groan and eventually got up.
‘God, Ella, you’re such a prune.’ He mumbled. He looked up when he felt me freeze. ‘Ella?’ He frowned and waved a hand in front of my face. ‘Earth to Ella?’
‘E-Excuse me.’ I whispered, releasing myself from him and running straight into the bathroom. Once in there, I sat on the floor, trying hard not to let the words get to me. Was I really a prune? I tried hard to have fun, to be the exciting girlfriend Jack craved, but … those words. They swam in my head until they were eventually all I could hear. As time grew, I heard the others calling me and as much as I tried, I didn’t want to face them. Eventually there was a knock.
‘I’m feeling sick, go without me.’ I yelled.
‘I know you’re feeling perfectly fine.’ I heard him state. ‘What’s wrong? What did I say?’
‘Nothing.’
I heard him make a sound, as if he were crying. I knew Jack well enough to know he wasn’t, but I knew every time I said ‘nothing’, it hurt him deep.
‘Fine.’
‘Wait, Jack.’ I scrambled up, hastily unlocked the door and yanked him in. He lurched, but I steadied him. He joined me on the floor and automatically wrapped his arm around me, locking the door with the other.
‘Okay, what’s wrong?’
I didn’t say anything; my tears answered for me. He held me for a while, not urging me to say anything, just letting me relax in his arms whilst I could.
‘Are you drunk?’ I whispered.
‘Nope. Why?’
‘You’re being nice.’
My words caught him off guard, and I knew it. I needed to see his genuine reaction, but he struggled to compose himself.
‘Are you saying I’m never nice?’
‘You’ve been off for a while.’ I pointed out, trying to remain neutral.
‘You’ve been hanging out with Zack a lot, though.’ He shot back.
‘True.’ I shrugged, and he wiped my eyes.
‘Now can you tell me?’
‘Am I really a prune?’ I mumbled.
‘Guys! Hurry the hell up.’ It was Alex. I jumped, wondering how long he’d been there. After all, we hadn’t been quiet. More like screaming.
‘Sorry, Alex.’ Jack apologized, and grabbed my hand. He hadn’t answered my question. As if reading my thoughts, he turned to and hugged me. ‘No, Ella, you’re not. I was just … You ruined my sleep!’ He teased. I automatically smiled and laughed.
‘Let’s go.’ I urged, racing him to the door.
It was just when we stepped into the car. I sat crammed in the middle, between Jack and Zack. Awkwardly, Jack’s arm stretched around me so his knuckles grazed Zack’s shoulder.
‘Hey, Zack.’ I smiled at him. ‘Are those…’ I mouthed the word songs at him.
‘Yep.’
For an entire hour, we laughed, sang, joked and debated over the low hum of the car. The smell of leather mingled with fresh air streaking in through the open windows, and the atmosphere lightened drastically over the radio playing All Time Low.
I had to admit, I finally felt at home.
‘Aleeeeeex.’ Jack whined. ‘Are we there yet?’
‘You remind me of those kids from Cheaper By The Dozen.’ Rian whipped around and grinned at Jack, who scowled.
‘I’m not a baby.’ He protested. ‘I’m 18!’
‘Ella’s the youngest here.’ Alex laughed. ‘She’s the baby.’
‘She’s my ba-‘ Jack was interrupted by the others retching.
‘Wait till you fall in love, Alex, Zack.’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘I won’t ever stop embarrassing you.’
‘You never do anyway.’ Zack argued.
‘True that.’ Jack declared, swinging his arms around.
‘We’re here, faggots.’ Alex screamed, causing several concerned mothers to stare at us. I recognized one of them as Mrs. B, the woman who used to look after me when my mom and dad went out. She gawked and I hid my face in Jack’s chest before waving.
‘Sucker.’ I mumbled under my breath.
‘Who’s that?’ Jack enquired.
‘This woman who used to take care of me.’
‘We’ve got to go and introduce ourselves.’ Jack replied with a wicked grin.
Before I could protest, he dragged me over and smiled politely. My face reddened so badly, there was no distinction between me and a tomato.
‘Hello. I’m Jack Barakat.’ He winked at me and I couldn’t help but giggle. ‘I believe you know Ella.’
‘Um, yes.’ She frowned slightly at me. Hello, Ella.’
‘Hey, Mrs. B. Meet my b-boyfriend, Jack.’
She turned around rather rudely, and walked away.
‘Snob!’ Jack yelled. As she turned around, he pointed to me.
‘You are horrible.’ I laughed, as Zack handed me a bag and I automatically took it.
The second my feet hit the sand, I relaxed. All the problems washed away – it was as if the sun was bathing me. I ran my fingers through my hair and grinned at Zack.
‘We should totally do a show here.’
‘Did you bring your guitar?’
‘You underestimate me.’ He scoffed. ‘It goes everywhere with me.’
‘Typical band guy.’ I joked, punching his shoulder affectionately.
Alex and Jack stripped off to their shorts and ran straight into the sea like fools. Rian and Zack were more careful, applying sunscreen at every available moment.
‘Get Kara here.’ I told Rian, pushing Jack’s sunglasses up with my thumb.
‘Already done.’ Rian stretched back on a pre-brought deck chair with a copy of Hamlet in his hands.
‘Hamlet?’ I asked, impressed.
‘What can I say; Kara left it at Jack’s.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not the play… Some guy converted it into a book.’
I grinned.
Jack and Alex came back, soaking wet.
‘I’m gonna try and meet some babes here.’ Alex clapped his hands once and rubbed them together.
‘Typical.’ Jack rolled his eyes and stretched out next to Rian.
‘Zack, come with me to the sea.’
‘You’re gonna get your shirt wet.’ Alex reminded me. I paused. I was supposed to change when Kara got here, but the sea was emptying and I had to take advantage of it. In a lightning decision, I got all 4 boys to hold towels up and quickly exchanged my shirt for a bikini top. Grabbing Zack’s hand, I tugged him in the direction of the sea until he stopped.
‘I can’t hold your hand and go to the sea with you whilst your dressed like… That.’ He reddened.
‘Oh, screw that.’ I sighed and sprinted to the ocean. Despite the fact I was still in my good shorts, I plummeted into the sea, wading deeper and deeper until my feet floated out behind me. I continued swimming, pushing my bangs out of my face, kicking the water back and forth. Content, I floated on my back until I saw Rian swimming out.
‘Jack got paranoid. Come on.’ He held out his hand and I feebly followed him back. Zack was sunbathing, and showing Kara something from his phone and Jack and Alex were talking to a couple of girls showing off orange skin, pearly white teeth and bleached blonde hair.
‘Don’t worry, he’s not stupid.’ Rian whispered in my ear as he pushed me back into Zack. I rolled my eyes and allowed the sun to radiate on my skin, trying to push all worry from my mind.
‘Hey, can I show you another song? I’m thinking about getting Alex to put it on Dirty Work before it’s released.’
See, Dirty Work wasn’t officially released. The guys sung the songs during concerts, and occasionally sang versions of it on TV for publicity, but it wasn’t even a real CD yet. A lot of things could happen between now and the release date.
‘I don’t understand,’ Kara piped up. ‘It’s mid December. Why, oh why, are we at the beach and why is the sun shining!?’
‘That’s a good point…’ Rian frowned. ‘Science, gotta love it.’
‘I do. This way we can spend more time together.’ She pulled his head down and kissed him silently.
Zack came back, holding the guitar in his hands. His fingers strummed it idly, causing Alex and Jack to watch over with frowns. I rested my hand on Zack’s bare knee, and then picked up the lyrics sheet.
‘I’ll sing, you play.’ I offered. He nodded and started playing from a pre-written chord sheet.

‘I wish you could see your face right now
'Cause you're grinning like a fool
And we're sitting on your kitchen floor
On a Tuesday afternoon
Doesn't matter when we get back
To doing what we do
'Cause right now could last forever
Just as long as I'm with you

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose

We would go out on the weekend
To escape our busy lives
And we'd laugh at all the douche-bag guys
Chasing down their desperate wives
I would drink a little too much
And you'd offer me a ride
I would offer you a t-shirt
And you would stay another night

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose

We never stood a chance out there
Shooting love in real-time
So we'll take it over ice tonight
With a little salt
And a little lime

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you’

I choked up halfway through, but beamed. ‘Zack, that’s beautiful.’
‘You think?’
We’d gained a crowd, and through the applause, I heard Alex whistling and Jack screaming ‘Go Zack!’ Even Kara was on her feet, clapping enthusiastically.
When the crowd had died down, Zack, red in the face, was hoisted up by Jack and Alex.
‘Why didn’t you tell-‘
‘Us you had a song written!?’
‘I’ve been writing with Ella.’
Jack froze for a second, and then covered it up with a laugh. ‘That song is awesome, Zack. It is definitely going on Dirty Work, definitely.’