Part II : Watch Our Skies Collide.

Death By Lonesome.

Demitri;

Psychological Fact:

All emotion pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything longer than that is self-inflicted.

So? I'm self-inflicted. Everything she does makes me die of my addiction.

Also.

Pain makes people change....

and.

I'm losing my fucking mind.

We spoke in hums.

You know why it's soooo hard to be happy? Because you find it hard to let go of the things that make you sad.

Sometimes you think you want to disappear.

But you just want to be found.

'And you could move on with your life.'

“I guess”, Haven paced her frail fingers along the emerald grass. The waxy texture rubbed against my bare body. That was dim in the midnight shadows of the trees. The trees were puppets to me. They danced along the landscape. Gently with silent ease. I couldn't calm my feelings.

I couldn't "keep calm and party on."

I couldn't do anything. The half moon was shining and making our spot in the meadow with the pale violet flowers that sprung and the orchids seem nearly non-existent.

I felt a mocking grin dance upon my lips; it filled me with awaited anxious notations. Notations that must be hidden. At all times. I don’t like that.

Why can’t I have a girlfriend? Why do I have to hear endless love stories Ryan breathes deeply into his IPhone to me. Shuttering at the moments were he explains how Evangline lifted her head and made her eyes gaze into his.

And I have to hear his slowly dying tears. Stutters and coughs.

Shutters and chuckles.

Saying, "Well, Vie."

On late Friday nights.

When Criminal Minds or a John Hues movie isn’t on. Or a hard core porno doesn't ring through my brother's room like a forest fire.

Rose is gone, out late with Edgar or someone else.

Half stoned or dancing her brains out in a eruption that can never be tamed.

Her wild heart has the handshake running through her streams.

Her heart pulsing.

Tegan is slowly drowning into his sleep.

Tegan doesn't want to see me. He blames me.

For everything.

For our mother running away.

Leaving Rose, Tegan and I.

Why? Because I’m the loser. I’m the fake. I’m the problem. I don’t know. I want to spring with ambition. But I only sickly drown and guzzle back my sorrows with that Jack Daniel's bottle and split open my veins with scissors to feel the hope I longed and wanted.

The blooming blood arose and my fears knocked back suddenly. I was in a haze of non- guilt and love.

I saw stars and I saw love. I saw something that let me be.

Fear only lives inside our minds.

Nobody knows.

Haven’s eyes lit up in the night sky. They danced around the forest inspired by the dark. This isn't the dark I'm scared of. This isn't anything.

Her eyes come back to me, grinning and cheeky.

I left a coy smile on my solemn face and sat upright, and began speaking in low hums. Thinking if I awake the night creatures. It will all be damned.

I try not to remember the nights.

When I killed.

“Haven”….I breathed deeply into the cold November air. My breath floated outside my cold lips like smoke. Clouding my vision of her.

Her small fragile nose, her caramel skin.

Her curly hair was hung up.

I looked at her and wide almond shaped eyes. Opened and mocking.

She titled her head, and began tearing the grass blades.

I took in the sight of her, she had a fisher’s hat on. I wish I could say…that’s all she had on.

“There’s so many things I want to do to you…”, I breathed out heavily, pulling on her bra straps.

She is on her knee's and waddles forward. Just sitting there.

I look at her, seeing her face.

It's filled with nothing.

I snake my hands around her back, clench the fabric in my finger's and unclasp it.

She shrugs it off her chest.

Two perky breasts.

I thought I would never say that.

Never.

I was bare. Naked. Crossed legged on the grass. The grass was ticklish.

I didn’t feel anything.

No transition. No feeling of my feverish bones slicing through my thick pale flesh. Making me into monster.

No fears. I think I love her.

I think I do. I don’t know right and wrong.

I just want to make love to her. This girl, I can see her face. She is…. Haven.

She is no Evangline, She can not compete. Though the way she makes her lips curl upwards. Sends an electric shiver throughout my body like live wire. I love it.

It’s sickening. Truly sickening. The moon was half, I didn’t care. No, making my eyes trace every single step this girl makes.

I move my body closer to hers. Pushing our limits.

We must draw the lines. Then jump over them. Who cares?

Burn the lines. Burn the rules. Burn reality!

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

Darling. Tonight we will leave our marks on this world we are stuck in.

Haven looked scared. Out of her zone.

I think all the meds worn away.

Worn away everything.

“It’s okay, we have each other”, I whispered. My fingers traced from her collarbone.

Down.

Down.

Down.

My hands cupped things, they shouldn’t be.

I would be skinned alive, and feed to the underworld creatures.

If Ryan knew what I was doing.

Haven breathed in heavily, and let a moan slightly escape her lips.

I slip off the rest of what she is wearing.

Haven gasped and crossed her arms against her bare chest.

“Haven,” I whispered in her ear. Her body rocked and hit the grass with my force.

I was on top of her.

Like really….Really.

I took her wrists and pinned them over her head.

“Dem…..Dem….I," she stammered.

I wanted my submarine to sink her battle ship.

I laid her across the grass. Naked.

My body shifted on the grass next to her.

I moved my lips to her ear.

"Did you know," I trailed off. Keeping my tempo of my voice normal.

She didn't say anything,

"That I want to fuck you so hard. I want to lick you and I want to fuck the living brains out of you."

She looked at me, but didn't say anything.

My hand cupped her breasts, pulled hard.

Moans escaped.

I kept going,"I want to destroy you. I want to fuck you so hard."

"First..." My voice rolled of my tongue like acid.

A wild gasp and I latched onto her lips.

My lips, I could feel the anger in my mouth, I’m a black hole. My lips had no restrictions. And so did the rest of my body. My hands. My fingers, no shaking.

No. They were grasping frantically against the skin at her caramel waist.

My fingers danced up her thigh, up and up. She yanked fistfuls of my hair and started to explore my neck. I yanked her forward. We were together. Mending. Together. I felt her. Every part. For the longest time.

Now I did.

I bowed her body against mine, and our body. A moan escaped my lips as I felt her hands run up my spine. It was also because I could feel the heat rise in between her legs. I prompt both hands on either side of her head. Then….guess what?

IT happened.

I think you know. The sounds that escaped her panting mouth was moans and screams.

I enter her folds, I’m trying not to be to graphic.

I guess doing a vampire is very painful, the agony in her voice rose.

She turned cold and my hands were gripping on her chest. Holding my grip around her perky little girls tight, using them as my handle.I rocked fast paced. Haven’s back arched and pulled my head and buried it into her chest. Breathing in cut quick gasps. Her legs wrapped around my waist, bringing me deeper into her.

I let myself be free to explore her, gliding my tongue over her and into her. Slowly and gently. Her fingers dug into my back . Her pants and screams rose. As I began to do things… You wouldn’t dream of.

I was shaking.

Why was I shaking?!

“Dude.”

The strangers voice arose, it edged closer. I felt clammy and unsteady breaths on my neck.

Hands move all over me.

My eyes shot open like a bullet from a gun. The room shook. My skin felt as it has been pierced with a thousand needles. Bones felt elongated. Like soothing… was wrong.

It was, like a burst of body shocking light that hit my eyes. Like a vivid wild fire submerge before a person unwilling eyes. I blinked tediously. Wanted to slip back into a place of near fate. The fate is gone. Now it’s something. That should of never been.

Ryan’s pale complexion, though flawless looking facade cloudy my vision.

“Demi," Ryan’s voice took on a soft approach, his blazing florescent green eyes felt like they were grinding right through my mere skull.

They echoed and bounced around the vacant walls of my brain. At this moment filled with endless thoughts of Haven. Her naked bare body. Everything I did to it in that… dream.

I dreamt without fear. Fear of what would happen. If Ryan knew.

Ryan’s eyes grew cautious.

He sat cross legged on his bed. The ocean blue duvet was ruffled gently. I blinked around the master room.

“Are you okay? You… were sweating up a storm…," Ryan kept his voice timid, not wanting to scare me.

I didn’t say a word. I felt feelings. I didn’t know that existed. I never felt that. They swam through my dead veins. They were so dead. For so long. I couldn’t revive them because I didn’t have the strength to. I never did. Now I have.

If that dream continued... I don't know.

But I do know, that this isn't the old Demitri.

Sometimes we're broken.

And we don't know why.

Demitri;