This Distance Can't Haunt Us

It was nearing two o’clock and James still hadn’t shown up. Morgan was sitting, sipping on a cup of tea at the table her and James always met at when they were young. The white paint had completely chipped off and it was starting to rust a bit.

The weather was typical English weather; it was a bit chilly and overcast. There wasn’t much sun showing anywhere. It was the perfect day to be out , especially if you were used to this area. There weren’t a lot of people out, especially near the table they had. It was pretty secluded from the rest of the park. Morgan heard voices, slowly getting louder and closer from her left.

“I’m going to talk to her first!” She didn’t recognize the voices.

“No! I will, Danny! Fuck off!” They were getting progressively louder. The table suddenly shook as one of the two slammed down into the seat.

“Hello, sweet thang,” he drug out the last word. In all honesty, it was a bit creepy.

“Danny! I said I wanted to talk to her first!” The second boy had made his way over, huffing for breath.

“I’m Ben, pleasure to meet you,” he said, still trying to catch his breath.

“Pleasure,” she said, taking another drink of her tea.

“Guys, go play somewhere else. People are going to think I’m babysitting my two, mentally handicapped brothers or something,” They both whined unanimously as James shooed them away.

“We’ll be back later, lovely,” Danny said, getting up and walking away with Ben. James slowly sat down across from Morgan.

“Hi, sorry about them,” he said.

“It’s okay, really,” she said, messing with her short, brown hair.

“You look good, Moe,” he said, using a nickname he’d always used when they were younger. “I like the haircut,”

“Thank you,” she said, quietly. She didn’t understand why she was so nervous. This was her best friend and suddenly, it felt like he was a complete stranger.

“How have you been?” He asked. He pulled a water bottle that he had carried with him from his lap and took a drink.

“Okay, I suppose,” She smiled and took a drink of her tea. The conversation would strike anyone else as awkward and unnerving. For them, it was perfectly comfortable. It was starting slow, but they both expected it. Morgan quickly changed the subject from herself. She repositioned the sunglasses she was wearing before she spoke.

“How are you, though? You and your band,” James smiled.

“We’re doing fantastic, actually. People in America have seriously taken a huge liking to us,”

“I can understand why,” she said. James looked at her for a moment.

“Moe, why are you wearing sunglasses?” Morgan sat, scared to respond, before she finally figured out something to say.

“I just have a hangover,”

“It’s not even bright out. I want to see your brown eyes, love. I miss them,” He was quiet as he spoke, almost like he was scared to ask. Morgan didn’t move for a moment, figuring out if she really wanted to do it. She decided, though, he had to know eventually.

She slowly slid the black Ray-Bans away from her face and sat them down in front of her. She waited for James to say something as she played with the rim of her cup.

“Your eyes, they’re really….light,” he said. Since she’d lost her sight, her eyes had gotten dramatically lighter. They used to be a deep, brown color. Now, they looked about the color of coffee with extra crème. “Morgan, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“You won’t look me in the eye,” he said. She tilted her head down.

“That’s because I can’t,” She almost whispered it. She actually had to repeat herself again for James to understand her.

“Why?” He asked. “Are you that upset that I left to go to America or,”

“No, James, I’m not angry about that. I just physically cannot look you in the eye. I have no idea where your eyes are. All I see is one giant blob of color that I’m assuming is you,” She was getting frustrated and mostly upset. She didn’t want to have to have this conversation, especially with James.

“You’re…”

“I’m blind, James. I’m legally blind,” he stared, dumbfounded by what she had told him. His best friend was blind?

“How is that – you were fine when I –“

“Remember Kasey?” James whispered a ‘Yes’, and she continued on. “I was with her. It was maybe three months after you had left. We were out driving. Honestly, I don’t remember a lot of that night. I remember bright lights and hearing metal on metal. I remember seeing Kasey’s face as the truck plowed into her. That was the last thing I saw. As I was told, the windshield shattered and tiny pieces got into my eyes. They had to do massive reconstructive surgery. They tried to get me my sight back. Sadly, this was all they could manage. I see blobs of color. I can’t make out details at all. Kasey’s dead and I’m stuck here like this. I wish I would have been the one to die. I hate living like this. I have Carmen here to help me, but it fucking sucks not being able to do things on my own anymore. Now, I can’t see you. I can’t see how you’ve changed. I won’t get to see you smile again and that kills me, James. I stopped answering the phone calls because I knew I’d break down and tell you. I didn’t want to worry you like that,” She was starting to cry as James sat there, silently. He was taking in everything she was saying.

“Morgan, t-that breaks my heart, it really does. All you had to do was tell me and I would have been on the next plane over here,”

“That’s the thing,” she said, moving in her seat. “I didn’t want to bother you. I didn’t want to scare you,”

“So, why didn’t you answer the phone calls at all?”

“After a while, I got too scared to talk to you. I’d just listen to you talk on the answering machine. It was the only comfort I’ve had. I can’t believe you’ve kept calling,” He smiled.

“Of course, love. I would have kept calling even if I hadn’t come back here. You mean the world to me,” There was a silence between the two as Morgan carefully chose her next words.

“James, this may sound odd, but can I just, feel your face?” He looked at her, confused.

“Why?”

“I kind of have to see with my hands now. I want to see what you look like,” He smiled and agreed. The table was small enough for her to reach her thin arms over comfortably to his face. Her fingertips fell lightly against his cheeks, which were a lot different than when she saw him last. His face had matured and thinned out. His once round, boyish face had turned into a highly defined jaw line. Her fingers traced across his closed eyes and down his nose, which was still a bit small for his face. His septum ring was gone.

She touched his lips, which were slightly pursed, and she smiled. They were extremely soft and somewhat thin. That hadn’t changed a bit. She ran her whole hands down the sides of his head. His hair was really short now, aside from the long locks she was used to. His ears were still stretched a bit, but he wasn’t wearing any plugs. He was still beautiful. She smiled widely as James reached up and took her hands in his.

“Morgan,” he said, pressing his lips against the back of her hands. “Come with me,” he said.

“What?”

“I want you to be with me. I feel terrible leaving you here like I did. I want to be with you. I want you to come with me. We’ll take you everywhere,”

“I’ll be so much of a hassle,” He gripped her hands tighter.

“Listen to me, Moe. You’re never a hassle. I’m not asking you to come back with me, I’m telling you to. I need to be there for my best friend. Please, Moe. Please,” he pleaded, looking at her while she thought about it. Leaving here would mean a lot of things. She’d leave Carmen behind. She’d leave her family. It would just be her and James and his friends. She needed to meet people, for a change.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” James smiled, grinning from ear to ear.

“You’re smiling, aren’t you?” She asked.

“Of course,” he laughed.

“I’d kill to see that smile,” James, still grinning like a fool, moved one of her hands up to his face. Her fingers moved across his lips, laughing while she did.

“It’s beautiful, as always,”