Avenged Adventures

Chapter 4.

I looked at the clock. 12:00. I shook my head. I hated when I dreamed of that night. I then thought about what happened after I killed his killer. I left the apartment and went back to the bus with the boys. Matt was getting everything off of Jimmy's body when he discovered a diamond ring in his pocket. "I'm so sorry Alex." He said. I took the ring and put it on the necklace Jimmy gave me. I always wore it. It had a Chinese symbol for love and a music note on it. Now it had the ring that was supposed to be my engagement ring. After they had gotten everything important off of him,we had a little funeral for him and burned the body. That's when I started to get bitter. I thought it was grieving,but it never went away. That's also when I started to get my temper. If I got pissed off bad enough,Id hurt somebody. That's why the guys never fucked with me. I told them to go away or something,they did it because they knew that they would get hurt. They had to find out the hard way though. Matt was the one to find out. We had gotten into an argument because he had been leading this really nice little girl on. I got pissed because she was so sweet and didn't deserve that. He kept bringing her around and one night, I snapped. I attacked him after she left. I snapped his right arm in half. I felt so bad afterward,but they never got me that pissed again. I tried,but I couldn't go to sleep. I kept thinking about Jimmy. I looked around the room we used to share. It changed a little bit,like most of his clothes were gone. I kept a couple of his shirts,a couple hoodies,and some other clothes. I didn't have the heart to get rid of his drum set either. I remembered how he'd sit there for hours,just drumming away. I smiled when I thought of it. I used to sit and watch him. I put up some more pictures of other people and random stuff too. I laid back on the bed and tried to make myself go to sleep. I finally was able to go back to sleep just a little bit before sunset. Of course,instant reaction,I had to get up at sunset. I was really sluggish that day and didn't want to do anything. When I hadn't come out of my
room for a couple hours,Matt knocked on my door. "Can I come in?" "I guess." "Whats up? You haven't come out of your room." "I had the dream again last night." I said with a sigh. He knew about the dream because even though he was an asshole,I always told him whenever I had it. The other guys didn't know about it. "I'm sorry. " He said. "I miss him so much Matt." "I know,Hun. We all do. But you had it worse because he was your maker and you guys were,well you know,lovers." I teared up. "Every time I have that dream if feels like the wound has been ripped open again." "That's because every time you have that dream,you are technically re-living the nightmare that caused the wound." "I was up most of the day because of it. I...I don't know what to do. Ive tried to move on but...But I
cant." "What happened with that guy last night?" "He said something about me being single and I kinda showed that the remark hurt and he said bad break up and blah blah. But he was truly sorry for upsetting me. He gave me his number and told me to call him when I was ready,but I'm not ready." "Well...I think in time you will be. So you just gonna chill up here for today?" "Yeah." "Kay." Matt left and Brian came in. "I just want to say that-" "Don't. You know I don't want to hear your apologies. Just let it be. Its in the past,so just drop it. No need to open closed wounds." I said. He just kinda nodded and walked out.